A Little Black Box
by Skarrow
Summary: To him, she represented all of the mysteries of the universe. Yet surely she wouldn't want anything to do with a boy 7 years her junior. Cloudy skies. Mystery and wonder. Gaara and Sakura. How long did he have to wait before he could meet her again? The answer is but a stone's throw away. [AU]
1. A stone is cast

**A Little Black Box  
**

* * *

One cloudy afternoon, a kunoichi lounged on one of the two swings in the playground.

He watched, fascinated, as the stone tumbled up and down the length of her arm of its own volition. No strings. No mechanisms. No chakra.

He gasped when it _vanished_ into thin air, only to reappear a second later, stuck to her forehead and framed by pink locks. As if it was meant to be there.

It was... perfect.

He did not know the words to articulate his thoughts, only that it was _perfect_. It stole his breath away.

The kunoichi repeated the mesmerizing motions several more times.

The stone crawled down the side of her face. Weaved in and out of her fingers. Dropped straight down, only to come to a complete halt just before hitting the ground, then snapped straight back up into her waiting palm as if compelled by the unseen force.

And just like that, she was done.

She pocketed the stone, stood up and left the playground. Only her footprints in the sand remained.

But his heart was still pounding from what he'd just witnessed, even after she was long gone. Even after the sun set and the dunes lost their color.

So he dared to return to the exact same place as yesterday, at that exact same time...

Oh. _Oh_.

There she was again, just like before. The stone danced against her skin, just like before.

His breath was stolen away once again.

.

.

He didn't know her name. He didn't know where she came from.

But every day she would sit down at that same swing, heedless of the weather. Every day she would perform small feats with a stone that, to him, weren't so small.

And every day, he would watch her from a safe enough distance, on the other side of the playground.

To him, she represented all of the mysteries of the universe. It was as if he was standing on the very cusp of reality and something else. Like he was witnessing a hidden truth of life known only to her, a hidden truth which he barely understood.

He _wanted_ to understand. The kunoichi. The stone. The mystery. The allure was just too great.

And so each day, he moved closer to her. Closer than he dared.

Until...

Emerald met jade.

The kunoichi paused, stone in hand.

The boy froze, too.

He had taken a gamble, a leap of faith, and entered her periphery.

Call it crazy. Call it foolish. Call it hopeful.

In his singular pursuit of mystery, the boy had stepped out of his comfort zone and made the first move.

Memories of previous attempts at contact with other individuals flashed through his mind's eye. His heart wasn't strong enough to withstand another rejection. But deep inside, he had this desperate _hope,_ a plea, that the mystery he had focused all of his attention would be _different_.

The kunoichi brightened. She fingered the stone.

"Hi!"

...A smile.

She was giving him a smile.

With trepidation, he asked her what she was doing.

She invited him to sit and watch with an expression of mischievousness and warmth.

He did so, and she obliged his request. Once more, the stone danced to an unknown rhythm right before his eyes.

There was nothing to fear. He was still free to dream, to wonder, to marvel. And he was glad.

There was no more hesitation on his part.

From then on, both swings were occupied in the afternoons, heedless of the weather.

For a short time each day, the kunoichi made him breathless, made his heart pound. He was immersed in something that he could only describe as... magical.

.

.

Still, the seasons changed, and all good things eventually came to an end.

She was leaving, but he still had yet to crack the mystery of the stone. He was only a child, much younger than her, so he could not hide his disappointment in himself and his frustration at the situation.

Life marched on, and time was slipping from his fingers like the grains of sand beneath their feet. And there was nothing a child like him could do in the face of such power.

The kunoichi bent down so they were eye level, and held out the stone for him to take.

 _No_.

He shook his head stubbornly. He knew that if he took that stone, she would be gone. And who knew when he could see her again? The future had never felt so far as it did now.

She blinked at him.

If he weren't so distraught, he would have felt proud to have been the one to make her breathless this time.

But then she smiled at him again, less forced than earlier. More longingly and infinitely more pretty. It suited her, he thought absently. Especially like this, under the moon beams, she was even more mysterious and alluring than ever before. A splash of color against the muted sand dunes.

She leaned forwards.

Slowly, carefully...

Jade eyes widened at the tender, feather-light touch of her lips on his forehead.

 _I promise that I won't forget you._

In a stunning moment of clarity, he understood the meaning of his existence. It was as if he knew where forever, heart, and soul lie. An acute throb of pain pierced his heart as both unbearable happiness and unbearable sadness melded into one.

His fingers clenched her hand, which still held the stone.

He knew that they couldn't always be together. Despite his dominion over sand, even he could not control the sands of time.

And yet...

Bit by bit, his anxiety melted away, replaced by something else.

And everything around him faded to black, until all that was left was the feel of her soft lips...

He did not know how long they held this position. Nor did he know when he closed his eyes. But when she pulled away he was not the same boy he was before. Nothing in his life was the same as before.

As if unable to help herself, she leaned towards him again. This time, her arms wrapped around his frame.

That night, they abandoned the swings.

Sitting together underneath the slide, they talked for a long time.

When the first rays of sunlight spilled over the dunes, she separated from him at the playground entrance.

.

.

Later that same day, he sat alone on his usual swing.

The stone was in his hand.

 _I promise that I won't forget you, either._

* * *

 **TBC...  
**


	2. A destiny is changed

**A Little Black Box**

* * *

The future seemed very big, but time was limited. Events happened and there was nothing they could do about it.

Because his body was small and weak, he preferred reading indoors rather than playing outside. On those rare days he would deviate from the pattern and venture into the village, the citizens gave him a wide berth. His appearance alone caused the playground to become devoid of other children.

She seemed to have a similar mentality as him.

Sitting in the same spot, doing the same tricks with a stone, only to leave at the first drop of rain or when the sun became too hot.

Day in and day out, without fail. Only rarely deviating from the pattern.

So he thought that it was inevitable that their paths crossed on that cloudy afternoon, half a year ago.

Even in the face of his uncle's disapproval of their deepening bond. Even in the face of his father's suspicion towards foreigners.

Somehow, he didn't feel scared... because of their feelings for each other.

And as he watched her perform her latest trick with the stone, he would think-

 _In the future, I will become a shinobi, and we will always be together._

He didn't know why, he just felt like that.

But then the season changed, and the kunoichi vanished along with the rain clouds.

After she left, there was no fanfare. No great calamity. The desert was as unchanging as always.

He wasn't sure what exactly he was expecting to happen in the days after her departure, but it was business as usual in the village.

It seemed so... _strange_. She had become such a huge fixture in his life he was certain it would all come crashing down around him when she was gone.

In truth, it was the opposite.

The kunoichi may have left the desert, but a part of her had remained. It nestled in a section of his heart that was once devoid and empty.

And it permeated almost every part of his new life.

.

.

The return of summer meant the return of long, hot days that seemed to stretch on forever.

On the first day of the new season, he traded his lightweight shawl for a heavier one. It was a necessity for the harsh sunlight.

The shawl hung loosely from his shoulders, and trailed behind him on the floor as he walked. For convenience, shawls were fashioned much bigger on purpose so one could simply grow into them instead of getting another one.

He checked his appearance in the mirror and frowned.

Before, he liked how he could curl up and hide inside the baggy folds.

But now this was just another reminder of how long he had to wait. How much distance he needed to cover just to catch up.

On the second day, his uncle brought him to the markets to purchase more books. The older man remarked that he had more unfinished tomes than usual, so they would only buy three instead of the usual six. With a solemn nod of understanding, he faced the shelves and read the titles carefully.

The first book he chose was one about birds.

During one of many conversations with the kunoichi, she had spoken of a festival in her home village, and folding paper cranes. She said that folding a thousand paper cranes could grant one wish.

He did not know what a crane was.

Oddly, he did not want to ask his uncle for aid, despite his fondness for the man. The reason was simple: he did not want to share her, or their conversations.

His father on the other hand ignored anything that was unrelated to his training.

With nowhere to turn to, he would have to satisfy his curiosity by himself.

The second book he chose was one about pastry goods.

Once, she had brought a white cake box with her to the playground. He was never fond of sweets, but when he tasted the little chocolate cake she shared with him, he had to make an exception. It was not sweet like he expected, but bitter. So bitter, he'd puckered his lips and made her giggle.

He could never guess where the cake had been made, though.

Just another mystery he would have to figure out.

To his disappointment, he could not find a book that could help him discover the secret behind the stone. Thus the third book was a simple adventure novel his uncle chose for him. Maybe next time, he promised himself. Next time, he would try again. There was still a lot of time.

The shopkeeper nervously rang up the purchased books. His uncle carefully counted the money.

Like all children his age, he could be impatient. He wanted to return home as soon as possible so he could start reading about birds of foreign habitats.

His restless gaze suddenly alighted on a pile of paperbacks. They perched atop a shelf behind the shopkeeper's head.

The title jumped out at him like no other book in the store had.

 _Mysteries of the Universe, vol. 2_

Jade eyes widened. His heart beat erratically in recognition of the phrasing. The sand gourd shifted and rattled, agitated.

His uncle had dropped his purse on the counter, coins clattering to the floor. He watched his nephew with grim readiness. Meanwhile the shopkeeper had pressed his back against the wall in panic.

In response to his guardian's inquiry, he pointed his finger at the paperbacks.

The sand lifted one copy from the stack and deposited it on top of the check out counter.

Perhaps it was foolish to purchase a book for a reason like that. Just because its title happened to describe her the way he always had. He knew he was stupid, searching for the barest traces of her in the most mundane things.

But being who he was, he didn't need to explain himself to anyone. So the only person who he would admit the truth to was himself.

He missed her. Deeply, so very deeply. All the way to his bones.

.

.

Longer days meant shorter nights. It also meant that he had even less time to himself to read.

Usually that would be the case, but these days he couldn't find any motivation to make contact with his peers during the day. He devoted his free time instead to his collection of books under a different light. Searching endlessly in between the lines for a flash of pink. Or a hint of emerald.

On especially hot afternoons he followed his uncle to his father's training grounds. Like he was supposed to.

Worked himself raw to master sand techniques and elemental manipulation. Like he was supposed to.

...Like he was "supposed" to?

What a joke.

In the chilly hours before dusk. In the wee hours before dawn.

He was _praying_ for a cloudy day.

Because on sunny days when he wasn't practicing jutsu, he was stuck outside the house. His uncle didn't want him shut up inside his bedroom all the time. Wanted him to keep trying to make friends his age.

So he was there, stuck at the playground.

A playground filled with... _children_. Children who were satisfied with dreaming imaginary adventures. Satisfied with their little sandbox universes.

And when before, he wanted to join them, be a part of their games, their laughter...

Now he was only filled with impatience, fingering the stone tucked in his pocket.

The kunoichi lived in a world where people struck out and made names for themselves. A place where people of all kinds did what they were _meant_ to do. It was light years away from the village walls. Just thinking about it made him wonder about her even more.

He only knew two things for certain.

One, he needed to become a strong shinobi as soon as possible. And two, he would give anything to reach that world of mystery.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	3. A soul is tested

**A Little Black Box**

* * *

Without realizing it, autumn had arrived.

Just a while ago, he had a haircut. It was much different than what it looked like back in spring.

He'd grown several centimeters taller, too.

As he experimented with the red spikes, he wondered if she would still recognize him.

...Come to think of it, she was probably changing little by little, just like him.

But he knew instinctively that he would identify her on sight. He would only have to see her eyes.

His own life was slowly but surely transitioning.

His uncle had stopped pushing him to speak with the other children.

His skill with ninjutsu had improved dramatically. The sands were tightly under control. He'd received recognition from his father and the advisers. Many avenues of training opened up to him. He had much more freedom to plan, to read. Soon, he would be allowed to take an exam and become a genin.

He would be so much closer to his goal. Yet these things meant nothing to him now, except as milestones for his own progress.

.

.

He had finally discovered the reason behind the kunoichi's presence in the village in the past:

A merchant caravan. A low ranked escort mission. One team of genin hired from a foreign village at the same time every year, without fail.

For the first time in his life, he had something to look forward to this coming spring. He didn't care what obstacles he had to pass. Nothing would stop him from seeing her again. Just thinking of cloudy spring skies made concentrating on his copy of _Mysteries of the Universe_ difficult.

So in between chapters, he would sit next to his window and daydream under the moonlight...

A village sheltered in deep forests. Maple leaves of gold and red. A flock of whooping cranes flying overhead, with no other sign of life for miles.

Walking in an unknown grassland next to the usual girl.

As always, he couldn't see her face because of her hair and the wind. For even in his own fantasies, he was unbearably shy and could come no closer.

But this time, the air felt just right. The clouds blocked the sun, the shadow like a curtain that fell over their bodies. Shielding them from the rest of the world.

His footsteps slowed. So did hers.

The cranes were long gone, and all was still.

His fingers ghosted towards her. His heart hammered inside his chest.

As if sensing his intent, she shifted closer to him as well. But she still didn't turn to look at him. As always, her gaze was focused on something farther than he could comprehend.

That would not stop him.

He was resolved to lose himself once more within the mystery of her.

This time for sure, he firmly felt that she would turn her head towards him if he took a gamble, a leap of faith. Just like before.

This time, he would definitely-

His sand rose to block the rain of steel and glass shards.

An enemy.

Fear.

Uncertainty.

Indignation.

Gentle autumn daydreams ruined by the howl of pain and death.

An unnatural stillness that made him falter.

Tiny fingers gingerly peeled away the face mask.

A familiar, fond face covered in blood.

Betrayal.

Jade eyes widened. Bit by bit, a hollow feeling welled up inside him. The world tilted beneath his little feet. He demanded an explanation, anything at all, so it would just. Stop. Hurting. His heart was trapped in despair's painful grip.

After a shaky breath, his uncle told him that it was an order. An order he could have refused.

Said that he'd always hated him. That everything was a lie.

And then the man had pulled enough energy to say that the kunoichi had lied to him, too.

...Had she?

Had she lied to him?

.

.

She sometimes held still for long periods of time, gazing at something farther than he could see. The swing's chains creaked under the pressure of her hands. The stone sat unresponsive on her lap. There would be no magic today.

"It... just happened. It wasn't like I was walking anymore. More like... falling."

In moments like these, her smile did not reach her eyes. Her voice sounded painful to his ear. He could hear her heartache clearly.

But he didn't know where to bring her warmth, or how to treat her soul.

Unable wrap his arms around her because he was still so small.

Helpless as she trembled in her seat, bravely keeping her smile for his sake.

Incapable of giving her any words of encouragement.

The first time it happened, he was so ashamed. But she assured him that his feelings had reached her, and she was glad.

So he continued to feel, despite his own pained heart. He poured his everything into his emotions.

If her own heart could be healed, just a bit, then he would continue to feel until she was whole again. Until she found the strength to start walking, and find her way.

Even if it meant an eternity.

.

.

Such pain couldn't have been a lie.

He defiantly said as much, and the traitor merely smiled.

The resulting explosion was so _loud_ , he'd believed for a scant moment that he was no more. Only to open his eyes afterwards and suck in a deep breath. He was alive. The sand had protected him from the older man's kamikaze, but his heart was still in turmoil.

This horrible event only strengthened his desire to get away from the village, moreso than ever before. And yet, he was still a child. He could not leave on his own power. The world beyond the village walls seemed impossible to reach now.

Somewhere inside his body, primordial chaos stirred.

 _You can't. But I can. Close your eyes, and I will handle the rest._

So he clenched the stone in his fingers and closed his eyes.

It was the first true sleep he'd had in three years. He dreamed of clouded skies, endless grassland, whooping cranes, and emerald eyes.

To him, this was happiness. He could just sleep forever. Be lost in her mystery forever.

But something was wrong. The eyes he'd longed to see weren't smiling. They were _crying_. No matter what he did, he couldn't make it stop.

And then he realized that he could not sleep. Not like this.

Yes, he missed her. But if he clung to these childish feelings too tightly, he would never be able to get out of here.

He would be stuck. _She_ would be stuck.

The loneliness was slowly killing him.

But he... he had to hold on. He _couldn't_ give up.

Not when he still had so much he wanted to talk to her, face to face. Not when he had an entire world to explore with her beyond the desert. Not when he'd sworn to heal her heart for an eternity.

With great reluctance, he released the girl from his arms.

It was truly a wonderful dream.

And it didn't _have_ to remain a dream, he promised himself.

Warm emerald eyes watched him march away from the grasslands and onto his chosen path...

* * *

 **TBC...**


	4. A door is closed

**A Little Black Box**

* * *

The stone floor was cold. It was even colder at night.

No snow would fall in the desert. But winter still found its way within his confinement cell.

There were no people to bother him, but he did not have his books either. His uncle was dead. His father had yet to appear before him.

The cell had no windows. The sun, the moon, and the stars were denied him. He could not tell the difference between night and day. It was as if time stretched on endlessly in this dungeon.

He could not allow himself to fall asleep again lest his control slip once more. So he ignored the beast's whispers and focused his thoughts on other things.

All he had was the stone, the daydreams, and memories.

This winter promised to be a long one.

.

.

He didn't mind it when the kunoichi told him stories of her childhood home. Or how she would complain about the sweltering heat.

She'd compare her living conditions within the village walls to her own. She was especially excited to talk about the people there. She'd called them her comrades. Friends. Family.

The kunoichi would joke that she could get the tan that she'd always wanted, all year round, if she lived here amongst the dunes.

And then she'd turn around and speak wistfully of the asphalt streets of her neighborhood, molten because of the heat haze. Of the cool shade that the tall trees offered after a hard day of work. Of the little open space near the hospital that one needed to cross in order to reach the playground.

He'd perked up at the mention of the playground. Which one was better, he'd asked. This one, or the one in her village? And were the children there nice?

The kunoichi had laughed, but it didn't sound as happy as he expected. It was more _amused_.

She told him that children were the same almost everywhere.

Children were hopeful. Children were honest. Children were cruel.

Maybe it was this conversation that got him thinking that he wanted to grow up as soon as possible.

Or maybe it was because of her.

He told her as much.

She shook her head and said that she wanted him to live a normal life as a child. While he still had the chance.

But he didn't even know what a normal childhood was like. He wasn't sure that he wanted such a thing. If it meant that he would never meet her, he would gladly disregard what was normal in favor of her presence.

He didn't dare say this aloud, however. He did not want to upset her. So he stayed silent and quietly accepted her hair ruffle. Enjoying the feel of her fingers on his head.

.

.

Sincerely, although confinement grew ever colder, he hoped that she was doing well.

As he lay curled on his side, he wondered if snow had begun to fall in her village. Living in that country seemed like a challenge in itself. In comparison, the desert was much more constant. Predictable. He couldn't imagine having to deal with the weather patterns she'd described. Living at the mercy of nature's whims.

His palm had bled several times now from gripping the stone so tightly. It reminded him that he was indeed still alive when the silence became oppressive.

Swallowing a scream, he shifted positions. He could feel the chill all the way to his very soul. His determination had severely dampened.

Darkness surrounded him from all sides. No way out.

His eyes drooped shut.

No, not to sleep. But to imagine pink strands illuminated by the moonlight.

If he concentrated hard enough, he could feel her feather-light lips on his forehead once again.

.

.

It was on the night before she left that she revealed her affiliation, under the cover of night and the playground slide.

When she told him where she hailed from, he hadn't expected it to be so far. When he thought about the distance between the two villages, ever widening with time and uncertainty, he felt even more lonely than before.

Because she was born at the tail end of the third secret war, she could only smile sadly.

Different cultures and beliefs will inevitably clash. Clans had been at war since time immemorial. Years of scars and the flow of blood could not simply be erased. Her own generation, despite striving for peace, was faced with overwhelming evidence to the contrary in the belief that the human mind could be moved by facts and reason.

Each village had its own share of darkness, she said. Peace could only hold for so long.

What was fighting in the war like, he asked.

The kunoichi considered this.

"Like living in constant, heightened fear."

And then she gently told him that at one point, their villages had been enemies. That the alliance only came about near the end. That in reality, her movements were being closely monitored, and they would no doubt probe him for signs of brainwashing after she left.

She asked him if he still trusted her.

Was there any doubt? Of course he did. And he always would.

His resolve hadn't wavered, even when she left him at the playground entrance at dawn. It stood strong in the face of his deceased uncle's prodding. And it would continue to hold as time passed and tomorrow became today.

.

.

His heart froze when he was released from that dark cell at last. Much more had changed within the village than he'd initially thought.

Until now, he had not given a single thought to his father, the most powerful shinobi in the village. He did not think about the consequences of his meetings with the kunoichi, or his own loss of control. He only cared for his own desires and fantasies.

Spring had finally returned to the desert. But with the new formal edict, foreigners had been continuously turned away at the village gates. Which meant the merchant caravan he'd planned for would also be refused entry.

He would lose his chance to meet with the kunoichi for good.

 _No_.

After months of waiting and dreaming and longing, of reading books and deep meditation, he would not stand for this. He didn't care if he would be punished even more harshly afterwards for it. If he did not do something, if he did not catch even a glimpse of emerald eyes he would go mad.

Confrontation with his father was out of the question. His own life was hanging in the balance.

Yet he could not just sit down and accept defeat after suffering for an entire year. Hungering for her presence.

He pressed his fingers to his own forehead. Faint remembrance of that innocent and tender kiss helped him make a decision.

It was time for another gamble. Another leap of faith.

He didn't even know for sure if she was a part of the merchant caravan's guard detail this year. He only had a desperate prayer, and a slim chance.

The boy needed to cross over those walls that separated him from her, no matter what it took.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	5. A boy is lost

**A Little Black Box**

* * *

The merchant caravan would be staying at lodgings on the border between the two allied countries. The merchants were scheduled to leave at seven o'clock in the evening after auditing all of their stock.

On the same day, a team comprised of genin was to set out from the village at dawn and deliver rations to several guard outposts along the border. The merchant caravan's lodgings would be found along their route.

In other words, this was his only chance.

He had practiced concealing his presence and muting his chakra signature to perfection. He had gathered the necessary intel. He'd acted as casually as he was capable of, wary of tipping his new watcher off to his intentions. He'd made contingency plans in case of his cover, if broken.

All in preparation for the day of judgment.

When the time came, he had the mien of a general who was facing his first true battle.

With a bit of chakra, a little time keeper, and a lot of reckless determination, he infiltrated the wooden cart.

Five minutes later, he was outside the village.

It was like a dream.

He'd actually gone and _done_ it. The scared little boy had successfully escaped that sandy prison.

This was the first time in his life he'd ever done something like this.

It was also his first time embarking on a journey outside those intimidating walls.

This could even be considered his very first foray into the world that he'd been longing to see. The unknown world that she inhabited.

Fraught with nerves. Pulse pounding a mile a minute.

Cheeks flushed with exhilaration and excitement.

This adventure would certainly be remembered for the rest of his life.

But just when he'd felt like celebrating, a complication threw a wrench into his plans.

Starting at noon, it was raining heavily. The air felt heavy even as he kept still, hidden inside a wooden compartment. It was if it had been raining for ages in the desert. The young genin guarding the cart rattled complaints. He curled into a tighter ball to ward against the chill.

He'd never thought to calculate how slowly the genin would travel during spring showers.

And today of all days, the rain just wouldn't let up, making it increasingly difficult to navigate without damaging the goods.

His anxiety was growing.

After stopping at that first outpost, the buildings that were visible became fewer.

The distance from guard station to guard station was unbelievably far. The genin stopped for an unbelievable period of time at each station.

By seven o'clock, they'd only reached the fourth one. There were still six more to go before they'd landed in the same area as the caravan, and time was running out.

From his hiding place, he saw a deserted landscape that was unfamiliar to him. He would never be able to find his way back home like this.

The time that's flowing slowly. The pain of hunger. The chill of the evening air.

All of it made him feel small and helpless inside his heart.

.

.

He waited until all the genin trooped inside the seventh guard outpost for warmth. Then he slowly climbed out of his hiding spot to ease his cramped body.

The cart had been parked close to the edge of a small cliff side. From his vantage point, the moon was already quite high in the sky. The dunes appeared ethereal and otherworldly under the moonlight.

According to the time keeper, the time that the merchant caravan was scheduled to leave was over an hour ago. But he'd already reached the halfway point of the route. He had no choice but to grit his teeth and continue towards his original destination.

With stiff fingers, he reached for the stone in his pocket out of habit.

He'd used it for his own personal comfort for so long, it was almost as automatic as breathing.

The sudden bang of a door startled him badly.

He fumbled with the stone.

 _No!_

As if in slow motion, jade eyes watched the precious keepsake bounce at an angle and fall over the cliff edge.

But he could not stay and search for it.

With a heavy heart, he scrambled back into the compartment. Fortunately, he had not been spotted by the genin.

But. But.

The stone was _gonegonegone_.

He should have held tighter. He should have kept it in his pocket. He should have...

A single tear escaped, unbidden.

Frustration at himself. Frustration at this entire situation. All bubbled beneath the surface, threatening to break free.

He buried his face in the folds of his clothes. A strangled sob tore from his throat.

The cart did not move for two whole hours. The rain fell even harder. The night grew steadily colder.

Every minute felt like an hour.

Time itself must have had some evil intention towards him.

All he could do was wrap his arms around himself and stifle his tears as best as he could.

...She surely must have left the lodgings at the border by now.

But who could say she was there in the first place?

Running away from the village on flimsy information and pure desperation.

What did he expect to happen?

Realistically, there was no way he could meet her again until perhaps he was much older.

Yet he still made that gamble.

And where did that leave him now? He was so _stupid_.

Within his mind's eye, he saw a flash of pink. A hint of a smile.

He could not stop the streaming tears.

.

.

It was almost midnight when the genin stopped at the guard outpost he had been aiming for.

Gathering his strength reserves, he used shunshin while compressing his chakra to avoid the sentinel's detection.

Even when he passed the perimeter, he did not stop moving until he was at least two hundred yards away. There was no doubt that his village was in an uproar over his disappearance, so he needed to stay hidden at all times.

At last, he'd reached an outcropping. From that point onwards, he moved on foot towards the sleepy little town of Tenshu.

There were large tracks in the sand, trailing outwards. Plainly indicating the presence of several large carriages not long ago.

He trudged slowly towards the center of the town, his head pounding.

Indeed, there was no sign of the merchant caravan. He was over four hours too late. And now he would never know for sure if she had been there, or not.

At first, this entire journey had been an exciting adventure. But now it all felt utterly pointless. He should have just stopped while he was still in the village,

He silently collapsed onto the sand, unable to stay upright any longer.

The fatigue in his bones. In his soul.

Her name was on his lips, drowned out by the sound of the rain.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	6. A wish is granted

**A Little Black Box**

* * *

After the rain stopped, he regained his strength.

He couldn't stay out here like this. But every part of his body protested.

Eventually he trudged to his feet and found shelter in a small niche behind the inn. He was tiny and it was hard to reach. He would be fine here.

He sneezed, and shivered.

His time keeper was ruined. The night sky was as dark as ever. Not a single star was visible. His stomach gurgled with hunger. His fingers were thumbing through his pockets for the stone, until he remembered what had happened to it. With a frustrated cry, he dashed the fresh tears away.

He was drenched and miserable, but he had no choice but to stay like this. There was always a chance that the rain could start again.

Feeling restless, he ghosted his fingers along the cramped space, feeling the edges. The little handle he found distracted him. It turned easily under his hand. Where did it open up to? Where did it lead?

It was too dark to see. But sleep was not an option and he had nothing better to do. Besides, the shinobi would soon come for him. There was nothing to lose.

.

.

His little niche had actually been a broken part of an unused vent. After crawling along inside the tunnel for one minute, he saw light at the other end at last. Chakra infused sand made quick work of picking the lock. The door was pried open. He was momentarily blinded by the light.

He noticed the candle first after adjusting to the glare. It stood alone and singular atop a nearby table. The room was awash in its warm glow. His gaze drifted lower.

Then-

Jade eyes widened.

His fist clenched painfully, drawing blood.

His heart stopped, and then restarted at a frantic pace.

Never in his wildest fantasies did he expect this to happen.

But there was no mistaking it.

His vision became blurry with tears once again.

The kunoichi.

 _She was here._

Curled up on a cushioned bench at the other end of the room, eyes closed. A pen hung limply from her fingers, so very close to falling away.

Her hair. Her face. All of it was unmistakably hers.

Despite everything that had happened to him.

She was here. She was _close_.

He slowly crawled out of the vent. He didn't tear his gaze from her for a single second. Each step was filled with trepidation. Each breath came shallower than the last. If this was a dream, or an illusion, he felt he would die.

At long last, he stood next to her slumbering figure. Underneath her body were various notebooks that his addled mind barely registered.

He swallowed, his throat having gone dry. Her name escaped his lips in a whisper. He was afraid that if he spoke too loud, it would all shatter in front of him.

Her eyelids fluttered open.

For a moment, she stared at him. Unfocused. Unresponsive.

And then she smiled, and everything was right in his world once again.

"Hi. What are you doing here, little man?"

Her voice was thick with sleep, but he recognized it instantly.

After so long _._ After so, so long.

The one he had yearned for.

He was finally reunited with her.

Both of his hands were shaking so _hard_. After several false starts, he reached out and grasped the hem of her red shirt.

And promptly burst into tears.

He did not know when she righted herself into a sitting position. Or when she'd lifted him off the floor and cuddled him close. He didn't care that he was getting her clothes wet. That he was sniveling in quite an unsightly way. With both arms he grabbed for her. Tried to gather up as much of her as he could into his embrace. Tried to meld himself into her stomach so they wouldn't be separated.

She cooed at him. Didn't mind the way he grappled with her. He felt her pat his shoulder and back.

And she patiently held onto him just as tightly as he did to her. Even when two older women came down the stairs to see what the commotion was about.

.

.

He took a sip of the liquid in the cup.

Inside his chest, he felt warm.

No doubt about it. It was the most delicious drink he'd ever had.

The kunoichi stopped toweling his hair to tease him. Surely he'd tried green tea before now.

Maybe, he admitted. But none as delicious as this.

Hesitantly, she offered a plate of food to him. She warned him about the taste.

He took one big bite.

It was food that _she_ prepared for him. It was enough to make his eyes water once again.

With a sniffle, he proclaimed that the rice ball was the best in the country.

He got a light cuff behind his head for that, but he stubbornly insisted. She rolled her eyes at his enthusiasm. Nevertheless, she also looked pleased.

After eating, his hair was dry. It spiked so much, and stuck out all over the place. Ignoring her giggles, he latched to her side. He had no intent of letting go, crazy hair or not.

One of her companions, an older blonde, complained about the paperwork this business trip would generate.

The kunoichi whispered that she was the new leader of her village. The role was similar to his father's.

But why was she accompanying such a woman, he wondered.

She smiled proudly in response. It was because she was her new apprentice. She would embark on a journey to become a healer, just like her master.

It would be a lonely journey that he could not imagine. Intently going forward through the darkness, even one minuscule of hope would be difficult to find. Only believing that there must be something beyond the horizon and at the edge of the world.

How far would she go, he pondered.

That night, he listened while she talked. Enveloped in a big blanket together, he heard about her hopes and her dreams. In return, he told her about his own experiences. They talked about cranes. They talked about cake. They talked about the things they've read, and the little things that they'd done under clouded skies.

With trepidation, he told her the fate that had befallen the stone just hours prior.

It was her smile that lifted that weight from his shoulders at last.

There was nothing to fear. He was still free to dream, to wonder, to marvel. And he was glad.

To his utter joy, she pulled out a little black box that was no bigger than her thumb. In the candlelight, the little box danced against her skin in all those ways that made him breathless just like before. No strings. No mechanisms. No chakra. Just her, and the little black box, and _magic_.

Without realizing it, the kunoichi fell back into slumber just before dawn.

He did not sleep, but remained tucked within the circle of her arms. Jade eyes closed in pure bliss.

This was probably what forever felt like.

.

.

And yet all good things eventually came to an end.

The next day, a group of shinobi from his village arrived in response to the blonde woman's summons. On that same morning, he was to be separated from the kunoichi once more.

This time, he had no way of knowing when he would see her again. Because she was now an apprentice, she would be studying and traveling for many years. He would not see her next spring, no matter how much he wished it. Neither would she arrive in the spring after that. Or the spring after _that_...

No matter what he did, their hearts would not move one centimeter closer. Those clouded skies were farther than he could ever reach.

The kunoichi bent down so they were eye level, and embraced him.

"I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you. I'm sorry that your life will continue to be one of hardship. But you'll be fine. Even without me, I know you'll be fine..."

Like the grains of sand beneath their feet, time was slipping through his fingers. His mind, his heart, was in turmoil. Desperate to steal a little bit of her to keep for himself. Desperately reaching towards something that lay so far away...

She took his hand and pressed the little black box onto his palm.

He still had no idea what it really was.

A mischievous giggle escaped her lips.

"Maybe you can figure it out?"

His spine stiffened. He would find the answer, definitely. And when he did, she would have to return to him.

Her smile became lonely at his declaration. And yet, she was still very pretty this way, he thought absently. Whether under the moon beams, or in the rays of the sun. She never failed to captivate him utterly.

The kunoichi leaned forwards.

Slowly, carefully...

Instinctively, he knew what was happening.

Jade eyes dropped shut at the tender, feather-light touch of her lips on his forehead.

It would be a lonely journey that he could not imagine. Intently going forward through the darkness, even one minuscule of hope would be difficult to find. Only believing that there must be something beyond the village walls and at the edge of the world.

At the last possible moment, he grabbed her face with both hands and pulled her downwards.

His lips tenderly brushed the corner of her mouth.

This was what he had been yearning for. The meaning of living for seven years.

The world was surely a big place. All he could do was pray that one day, his path would find hers again.

And that was enough for him.

The kunoichi gasped and jerked backwards.

Jade gazed deeply into emerald, halting her forthcoming apology.

 _I don't regret it._

Her smile this time was mystified. As if suddenly faced with an enigma.

Her master suddenly called her name, ending the moment.

She ruffled his head fondly and stood up. Emerald eyes hardened, looking straight into the future.

 _Until next time._

He watched her dash over the dunes until he couldn't see her pink hair anymore.

.

.

In the time before and after that kiss, he felt that all of the world has changed because of it.

Deep in his heart, he prayed to one day have the strength to protect her. Thinking that way, he would always watch the scenery outside his window back in his village, especially on cloudy days.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	7. Interlude: Matsuri

**Dark Sky Overcast  
**

* * *

Six o clock, evening.

She spared a quick glance outside the window.

The clouded skies of spring hung overhead, but she knew there wouldn't be any rain. It was a kind of sense that all desert dwellers learned while growing up.

The door opened, and the chimes tinkled. Right on time, as usual.

Sensei greeted her politely. She returned it with enthusiasm.

She bent her head and pretended to read the magazine. Within her limited periphery, she could see his quiet, impressive form standing at the bookshelves where the new arrivals were displayed.

What books would he choose today?

The first one was _The Traveler's Guide to Resort Towns' Delicacies_. She had guessed that sensei would get that one. He always made sure to pick up a book that was connected to food in some way.

 _Mysteries of the Universe, vol. 12_ was the next book. A paperback that she knew he favored greatly.

The last book made her blink. _Honor and Reason_ was a slim tome published in the land of the samurai. It was their policy on contacting foreign powers.

This was the fourth time he'd selected such a book. She felt her admiration for him grow just a bit more. Bit by bit, he was moving closer to his dream of becoming a diplomat representing their village. On the other hand, she was still lost and did not know what to do with herself...

At last, he approached the counter, all of his reading materials in hand.

She smiled warmly at him as she rang up his purchases.

He observed that the store was as quiet and peaceful as usual.

She casually mentioned that the author of _Honor and Reason_ was arriving at the border town Tenshu for a small book signing.

Sensei did not smile, but his jade eyes were warm as he thanked her for the information.

And just like that, he was gone. Like the wind.

.

.

She knew his weekend schedule by heart. On week days he was unpredictable, moving according to his own internal logic. But on weekends he was like clockwork, and she couldn't help but synchronize her own schedule with his.

Eight o'clock, evening. By now the clouds had more or less faded, and she could see the stars. Cicadas were especially loud at this time, and their music heightened her anticipation.

She waited in front of the bookstore, her ears straining for the telltale rustle of his flowing coat. On the surface, she looked like another young female who was tired after a long day of work. Only her racing pulse betrayed her true motives.

Sensei noticed her immediately as he turned the corner and walked down the street. Once he was close enough, he stopped.

She turned around and greeted him, like always.

He nodded in response, and offered to walk her home.

She hurriedly finished locking up the bookstore and accepted his quiet suggestion with good cheer.

If she had a tail like a dog, she would swing it right away.

With that thought, she was glad that she was not a dog, because of how silly it would be.

Even so, she always felt so happy whenever sensei walked her home.

The moon in the sky. The music of the desert cicadas. The pleasant cool breeze.

Walking side by side with sensei.

The sound of rustling paper drew her gaze back to him. He was entirely focused on the parchment in his hands.

Another letter, it seemed.

For as long as she knew him, he had always been keeping correspondence. He would sometimes use the reading table in the bookstore to write, and he was always so serious when he did. She did not know who the receiver of his letters were, but without realizing it, she would wish that he would give her a letter, one day.

.

.

From the beginning, sensei had something that was different from the other males of the village.

She first fell in love with him on the first day of weapons handling class at the new ninja academy. It was over a year ago.

He alone had understood her fear of using weapons. She had been intimidated by him, just like everyone else. And who would not, when faced with those jade eyes that could peer into your soul? But he was also her only hope, so she felt she had no choice but to approach him.

He had been standing at the edge of the field, rolling a curious dark object in his fingers.

When she entered his line of sight, nervous and trembling, he tucked it away and faced her fully. Granting her his undivided attention, his hands behind his back.

And she did not regret it since then.

More than anything, she wanted to be a shinobi that was strong enough to stand by his side.

Every time she caught a glimpse of his figure in the distance, or in a crowd, her eyes would naturally follow his movements. Just by looking at his profile against the sun she felt her feelings for him grow even more.

It was so scary. Each day was so very painful.

She was happy whenever she met him. She relished every second they spent in his company. But she couldn't do anything about it.

.

.

Monday brought many worries. She was the only student at the academy who did not know what field of ninja art to pursue after graduation.

In their village, because of the lack of manpower, individual efficiency was prized. Choosing specializations were a very important time for the students, as it dictated their subjects and training. No resources must be wasted at all costs.

She knew that. All of the people in her class knew that. And yet she was still floundering about with no direction, no real sense of self identity.

Weapons class, the one time of day she always looked forward to, did not bring her any comfort. Sensei was absent that day, and she could not find a proper rhythm and timing no matter what she tried.

At eight o'clock, she was walking home alone. Because it was a week day, it was near impossible to meet with him outside the academy.

It was another cloudy evening. She couldn't even see the moon, and she felt herself fall into deeper depression.

On a whim, she changed her destination and began deviated from her usual path to home.

The buildings around her changed, a sign of the poorer residential area.

As she turned the corner, her feet came to an automatic stop. In the playground on the other side of the road, a very familiar figure sat on a swing. Reading his correspondence quietly under the bright glow of the street lamp. Holding her attention like nothing else could.

After such a long and disappointing day at school, she felt every fiber of her being come alive.

And yet...

Standing at the edge of the shadows like this, watching him like this. She couldn't help the ache in her heart.

No matter what she wished, this distance between them was just too wide for her to cross.

Jade eyes flickered to where she stood.

She smiled and waved, cheerfully as always. Her chest tightened as she neared his place.

He returned his focus to the letter in his hands once she was seated on the bench, to the left of the swings.

She simply watched him for a minute, drinking in his appearance, his presence. Like a parched man who had been trapped in the desert for days. Her eyes then fell to the political journal that lay innocently on the bench next to her lap. There was no doubt as to whom it belonged.

After receiving sensei's consent, she flipped through the pages. Not really registering the titles of the articles. She could only marvel at how difficult the subject matters were.

 _Iron Refuses to Host Chuunin Exam, "Samurai do not serve the shinobi," says Mifune_

 _Trade Agreements Between Wave and Earth to be Finalized_

 _Apprentice to Senju Tsunade Marries the Shamed Son of the White Fang_

 _Wind Daimyo's Decisions on Taxes were "in the Best Interests of the Civilian Population"_

Being a diplomat must be hard, she mused while skimming the journal. He needed to understand his own culture, and the culture of other places, and figure out a way to make these vastly different cultures work together in harmony.

But she had faith in sensei. Thirteen was still quite young, perhaps. But intelligence and intuition would see him through. Sensei would make a wonderful diplomat. When a man knew what he wanted, he would go after it with all of his being.

Compared to him, she still did not know what to do with herself.

He glanced up from his letter at her casual remark. He asked her why she thought like that.

She shrugged. It was like he knew where he belonged in life. But she still did not know what she wanted, or how she wanted to serve the village.

The letter was folded and tucked away.

Everyone was like that, in some way, he said.

She did not believe him. Sensei, to her, appeared to know what he wanted from life and how to get it. Never looking troubled by anything.

He calmly rejected her assessment.

Even he would become puzzled by a problem. He had no choice but to simply do whatever he could, and nothing more.

She was speechless from surprise.

So, even he could feel lost and unsure of himself at times. But even so, he walked forward, unafraid of anything. Constantly reaching for something just beyond the horizon. His words reassured her like nothing else had.

In the next moment, he had stood up from the swing.

Without thinking clearly, she reached out and grasped his sleeve. Heart thumping ever faster.

No. What was she doing? Why did she have to do that?

Why did she break her own rules and touch him like that? Crossing that forbidden threshold, which separated him from her.

Jade eyes met dark brown.

After a moment of silence, he quietly asked her if there was something wrong.

She shook her head. Nothing was wrong. Nothing...

With reluctance, she released his sleeve.

He said that he would escort her home that night.

She tried to refuse. She didn't want to bother him on a week day.

He simply remarked that a change of pace was not bad, once in a while.

And she was unable to change his mind. With lightly flushed cheeks, she accepted his quiet offer.

.

.

The cicadas shrilled their usual night time song.

There was no moon or stars visible tonight. The clouds seemed to stretch from every corner of the sky, blanketing everything in stillness and shadow.

For some reason, walking next to sensei like this felt different than the usual.

Jade eyes watched the clouded skies. As always, she was unable to understand those depths. His private thoughts remained beyond her reach.

Even though he was right beside her, he was still so far away.

This distance... made her feel lonely.

And one day, he would become a diplomat. He would be traveling for extended periods of time that made her heart freeze.

The distance would only get wider and wider.

It suffocated her.

His eyes snapped down to hers instantly.

She did not realize she was crying until he asked her what was wrong.

His simple kindness stripped her of her defenses. She was helpless in the face of those magnetic eyes.

The tears continued to fall despite her efforts.

Her throat seized with all of the words she longed to say to him.

 _I adore you._

 _I cherish you._

 _Please don't leave._

She found strength in herself because of him. When he was close, she did not fear the future and what it could bring. She was a better person, and it was all thanks to sensei. The only one in this place who understood her weaknesses and fears, and didn't hold it against her.

The tears fell faster. Faster than she could wipe them away. He watched her silently, growing increasingly worried over her unnatural behavior.

 _Please... please don't be kind to me..._

Because if he kept doing it, she knew that she wouldn't be able to stand it the day he finally left the village.

.

.

It was only when she lay down in her bed that night did she realize what she had tried to do.

She had been struggling with these feelings for so long, and his unexpected comfort had tempted her to confess to him.

She understood what made sensei different from the others.

In the same way she had known that he was not looking at her. Had never looked at her, from the start.

Because of that, she could not bring herself to tell him her feelings.

Her fingers clutched her pillow.

Underneath that aloof facade, sensei was kind. Very kind. But his eyes were always searching for something beyond the horizon. In the clouded skies. So far into the distance, she could barely understand it.

Her wish wouldn't be granted.

Even so, she loved him today, tomorrow, forever...

Eleven o'clock, late night.

Her thoughts were filled with him as she finally drifted off to a restless sleep.

.

.

 **Dark Sky Overcast  
**

 **The End**

* * *

 **TBC...**


	8. A dream is revisited

**A Little Black Box  
**

* * *

She smiled sweetly at her little boy and scooped him right up.

His silver hair was every bit as spiky as his father's.

The man himself exited the house not a moment too soon, armed to the teeth. Ready for another long mission.

Intel gathering on a growing crime syndicate. In other words, business as usual.

She wished him good luck at the village gates. The little boy waved at his beloved father once more.

When he was out of sight, she took him shopping for new training equipment. He was a precocious child who loved learning, and she wanted to support that.

Later, they got ice cream and relaxed at the playground near the hospital.

While watching him gambol with some other children in the grass under the bright sunlight, her smile slipped for a fraction.

Her mind was troubled when she woke up this morning. It was usually sleep that granted her escape from the worries of the day, so this bothered her like nothing before.

She had a dream of the past on the previous night. And seeing her innocent little boy have fun in the trees made her recall it with more clarity.

That once, long ago...

She was still a child. And he, even younger than her.

Surrounded by sand, in empty playground.

Together in a private world that belonged only to the two of them...

She stood up from her perch on the swing. The boy was running back to her, begging for a snack.

Her musings on the past were pushed to the back of her mind in favor of her life in the present.

.

.

 _Last night, I had a dream of the past._

The pen paused, mid stroke.

Jade eyes blinked hard. The words on the parchment refused to focus.

He had no choice but to stop writing for now.

The unfinished letter was carefully folded and slipped inside the desk drawer. He would finish writing it tomorrow. Then, he would need to procure more envelopes from a store. The ink was running low, as well.

And once he finished the letter, it would go inside the special compartment in his luggage, never to be read. Never to see the light of day again.

Since when did he begin writing correspondence without sending them to anyone, he wondered. And why didn't he just stop, when technology had made so much progress and made everything more convenient these days.

Maybe it wasn't convenience he wanted, then. He wanted something that had been lost to him, and he could never find again.

A glimmer of light caught his eye.

A little obsidian cube winked at him from atop a printout. He'd finished typing a speech for his village leader, who was arriving tomorrow afternoon. The box had been acting as a very ineffective paperweight.

Reaching out for it, and rolling it in between his fingers was as automatic as breathing.

The Black Box theory.

His studies in philosophy during his younger years led him to learning this. It was a theory that could be applied to certain fields of science. It was used to describe things that could only be defined by their inner workings.

The cube in his hand was the ultimate example of the Black Box theory:

Nobody knew how it worked. Not even him. Just that it did, or was supposed to.

Even after all these years, he could never find the truth behind it.

Maybe it was a sign that it just wasn't meant to be.

.

.

As an adult, and an important political figure of his village, he had many responsibilities.

Traveling the world, never staying in the same place for long, returning to his village very rarely and only for important functions. He had met many people from all walks of life, advocating his village's interests and gathering support.

His relationship with his own people, and his siblings, was purely business, which worked fine for him. A diplomat such as he could not afford to put his roots down anywhere.

The war against the men in black cloaks and red clouds had been long and grueling, and nearly destroyed all of his hard work. In the end all of the shinobi of the world had come together to form a united front against this incredible threat. And they'd all prevailed.

So, a steady alliance between all the great shinobi powers was not such a far fetched idea anymore. One day, true peace would come, he was sure of it.

So why did he have this dream now, of all times...

Perhaps it was because of the paperback he'd recovered from his old bedroom back in the village a fortnight ago.

 _Mysteries of the Universe, vol. 2_

It was very old and worn. He recalled reading it many times as a young boy.

During those times, he was very impressionable. He was thirsty for any information about the world beyond the village walls.

The future seemed very big, but time was limited. Events happened and there was nothing they could do about it. So he thought that it was inevitable that he would become a diplomat.

It was not a safe job. He'd clashed against rivals, enemies and acquaintances alike. In some battles he had emerged battered, yet victorious. In others, he could only recoup his losses and fall back. The battles themselves sometimes did not stay inside a meeting chamber. Dealing with shinobi was almost a guarantee that blood would be spilled.

The bottle of wine on the toilet seat had been a gift he'd received from one of the less violent meetings he'd attended.

He was not a drinker.

The expensive liquid was poured into the glass.

The smile on his face was purely nostalgic, even as the strange sadness pricked his chest.

What happened in the past stayed in the past. Those days of innocence were never to be found again. Those bloody battles in the turbulent period left their scars on his soul, but were gradually fading.

It was the little things that made him into the man he was now. Those little things would remain.

Several glasses later, he finally convinced himself that it was enough for him. The rest of the wine was poured down the sink drain.

.

.

This time, his work has taken him to the land of the samurai. The leader of his village, his older sibling, very nearly cemented a true alliance agreement with these warriors. Success rested on his ability to bring these two factions to peace at the summit that was to take place in three days.

This was the eighth time he had seen snow, and the cold still disagreed with him.

It settled over his bed sheets. It clung to his clothes. It weighed heavily on his shoulders.

Just by living, the sadness has piled up. Like the cold.

During the past couple years, he kept moving forward as he always did, wanting something. Searching for something. The emotion encompassed him, almost life threatening. As if a noose that hung limply around his neck was slowly tightening.

And he just kept working, traveling to many different places he was required to go as an ambassador, without ever knowing where that feeling was coming from.

One day, he opened his eyes and accepted the truth.

His heart was losing its motivation as the days passed, and there was nothing he could do about it.

That feeling he'd held onto for so long, the feeling of desiring something. The feeling that helped him step forwards through the darkness without fear.

It was gone.

The reflection of his darkened jade eyes in the mirror did not lie.

And the mirror told him that he was nearly at his limit.

.

.

The morning of the summit in the land of the samurai.

As usual, he stood with many other important people on equal footing.

His village leader sat in the designated chair. He stood two steps behind and one step to the right of her.

At the sound of the gong, another meeting that decided the fate of millions had begun.

The future seemed very big, but time was limited. Events happened and there was nothing they could do about it.

But he could only do what he could. Nothing more.

.

.

Last night, he had a dream. A fleeting dream about the past.

In it, he was still a child.

The playground was wide and empty.

Sitting side by side, under the cover of clouded skies.

On the very cusp of reality and something else.

Witnessing a hidden truth of life known only to her, a hidden truth which he barely understood.

Immersed in something that he could only describe as magical.

Both swings were occupied, heedless of the weather.

And on one of those days, he'd made a promise.

That he would, without a doubt... be by that person's side forevermore.

.

.

 **A Little Black Box**

 **The End**

* * *

 **Thank you for reading.  
**

 **TBC... in the "sequel" (which begins in the next chapter, lol)**


	9. First light

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox  
**

* * *

 **07:10AM**

She woke up to an open window, and a view of the sky blanketed by clouds.

For the first time in ages, she felt like spending her day outside.

Maybe her old student had the right idea. A change of pace wouldn't be such a bad thing.

One step at a time.

Today she was feeling particularly sluggish, but she figured that she only felt that way because of her decision to go out.

Even her own body was rebelling against her.

 **07:40AM**

The hot water felt so good on a chilly morning like this... too bad it stopped working about half way through.

 **08:08AM**

Breakfast.

Nope, not for her.

It costed more effort than she was willing to give this morning.

Just like a lot of other things, actually.

And besides, why waste time cooking when she couldn't taste a single thing.

 **08:16AM**

Her bag was ready. She looked presentable enough.

No more procrastinating.

The clouded skies were beckoning.

Out the door and into the big, open world.

 **08:17AM**

Okay, not really. Not yet, anyways.

The door was open, but instead of taking the required steps forwards, she leaned against the jamb.

She had to get her act together.

Otherwise, she would never be able to get out of her apartment.

 **08:22AM**

Barely five minutes and she was already feeling the irresistible urge to flee back into her nest.

But resist she must.

 **08:32AM**

She didn't even know where she was going.

She'd focused so hard on just leaving her condo, she didn't have an actual destination in mind.

 **08:33AM**

For starters, that convenience store looked ready to be raided.

 **08:49AM**

She would have left that place sooner if the cashier hadn't paused every few seconds to give her a funny look.

He was holding up the line, too. How very rude of him.

 **08:55AM**

That could have gone better, in her opinion.

Now what to do.

More specifically, "where could she stuff her face with beer and chocolate in peace" was the question. It had to be a place where nobody she knew would pass by on their own accord. She didn't want to talk to them. She just wanted to stuff her face with beer and chocolate. In peace.

Yeah, she wasn't feeling guilty for doing this at all.

Leaving the apartment had been hard enough. So she should be allowed this much.

 **09:19AM**

She wasn't up to taking the rooftops, and she avoided the open-air market by taking the long way around.

Before she knew it, her feet had taken her to the playground near the old hospital building.

She lingered at the entrance, bags in hand.

A lot of children came here with their parents almost every single day, back then. But with the new hospital, and the bigger playground, this one had fallen to disrepair. To her knowledge, there were no plans to convert this playground or the old hospital building into anything else. Not yet.

...She hadn't been here for almost two years now.

Time to fix that.

 **09:25AM**

The trees and grass looked overgrown. The weeds were especially fierce. Overhead, the clouds were getting darker and heavier.

Deserted, yet still beautiful. That was what the playground looked to her.

When she plopped down on her usual swing, the support groaned loudly, and made her pause.

It looked like her old friend was giving up soon.

The first beer was popped open.

She toasted to this brave piece of iron that had withstood two wars and an invasion for sake of children and adults like her.

 **09:30AM**

That first can went down the hatch too fast.

The best things in life never seem to last for long. Shinobi knew this like they knew the backs of their own hands.

Men and women of her profession were also prepared for the worst, at all times.

So it was a good thing that she bought three more cans to enjoy.

She _might_ have gone for the six-pack instead of just buying four of them individually.

But she was trying to cut down. She didn't want to touch her savings for her vices. It was strange, to save up for no reason. Then again, she was strange like that and she didn't feel like explaining herself to anyone.

So she had to cut down before she ran out of money and she was forced to run a mission earlier.

Which meant she'd have to cut down on the chocolate too.

 **09:50AM**

Today was the first time she'd gotten those chocolates with alcoholic content. It was always the same old chocolate bars, chocolate cookies, and chocolate truffles for her. She was again glad that she'd listened to her old student's advice about getting a change of pace.

...That probably wasn't what he meant, though.

This box was awfully fancy-looking. If it really was going to rain today, she wouldn't want it to be destroyed.

With a flick of her nail, the paper sticker sealing was rendered obsolete.

She popped one into her mouth without hesitation.

A grin broke out slowly across her face.

They were every bit as delicious as she imagined. She almost didn't mind the idea of running a mission earlier. But she couldn't let herself eat them all. They were ridiculously expensive and she wanted to savor them.

So after eating a second one, she closed the container and put it away in her bag.

The third beer opened just as easily as the fancy chocolate box.

 **10:01AM**

Both of her boots were now lying haphazardly in the grass seven yards away. Even without chakra, she had pretty good kicking strength.

Emerald eyes flickered left to right, as if watching for anyone who was watching.

She wiggled her toes. And wiggled them again.

A giggle escaped from her mouth, and she nearly dropped her can to the ground from mirth.

Maybe it was the beer, but she thought wiggling her bare toes was the most hilarious thing that she'd done in a while.

 **10:03AM**

A faint footfall at the very edge of her periphery jerked her out of her laughing daze.

She tensed, but not visibly. In a way that only experienced shinobi like her could do, she held herself calm and still.

The footsteps were very light, and languid. They came from the direction of the playground entrance. So they weren't sneaking up on her. Most likely someone had the same idea as she, and came to this dilapidated playground for some peace and quiet.

But she was already in fight or flight mode, and her mind was heavily favoring flight.

She wasn't ready to talk to them yet. She still needed more time.

If this intruder in her little paradise was somebody she knew, she would leave.

The footsteps came closer.

They hesitated just beyond her line of sight. Most likely sensing her presence and deciding on whether or not to turn back.

After a heartbeat, a figure finally stepped out of the trees.

Emerald met jade.

She paused, beer can in hand.

The man froze, too.

Her mind automatically sized him up.

A solid stance. An unyielding presence. A... children's paperback book in his hand.

The man was clearly doing the same thing as her, zeroing in on her features with incredible intensity that almost made her want to shield herself. Or maybe he was admiring her beauty. She couldn't tell, her social skills were rusty from disuse and impaired by her drinking.

After the longest of minutes, his eyes slowly trailed from her to the only other available swing.

Her gaze followed his.

Both her handbag and the plastic bag from the convenience store were there... oh. It all made sense now. The book in his hand, this abandoned playground, the way he eyed the swing. He came here to read in peace.

As an avid bookworm, she hardly wanted to get in a fellow reader's way of the sacred past time.

She hurriedly put down her drink and cleared away her things.

He stepped out of the shadows and approached the swing. He gave her a polite bow of gratitude before settling down to read.

 **10:17AM**

The playground remained quiet and serene. Only the occasional rustle of plastic wrappings, or the flick of a page, broke the stillness.

She finally found it within herself to relax completely. The man was lost in his own little world, focused entirely on his paperback, and paid no heed to her or her discarded boots. And if he did, he wasn't going to draw any attention to it, which she was grateful to him for.

The third beer can was now empty, and she didn't feel like eating any more chocolate.

But she was still up for drinking the last can.

As she reached for the plastic bag, her eyes landed on the cover of his paperback.

 _Mysteries of the Universe, vol. 20_

No doubt about it, it was a children's science book. She had her own copies at home, and adored them when she was younger, but she never got past the sixth volume.

 **10:18AM**

She couldn't help but gasp when her fingers knocked over the unopened can, which rolled out of reach.

And then a different hand, much bigger than her own, caught the can easily.

"Here."

It was the first word she'd heard from him. The man's voice was soft. Deep. Modulated. She thought that she wouldn't mind hearing a voice like his even when she was suffering from a hangover. It was just that nice to listen to.

He gently placed the beer can onto her waiting hand.

She smiled at him.

"Thank you."

He returned her smile before turning back to his book.

 **10:35AM**

At the back of her beer addled mind, something tugged at her memory.

Instead of enjoying the scenery she was trying to put a name to his face.

She didn't know she had spoken aloud until he raised his head up, shifting his attention from his book to her.

It was already out, and he was nice enough to listen so she plunged ahead.

"I'm sorry, but have we met before?"

He blinked, and his jade eyes became thoughtful.

Eventually, he answered her.

"Perhaps."

She had to admit, he had a good point. These past couple years, her village had been expanding so rapidly with the advent of technology. A lot of new faces had flowed in through the gates after the alliance was set in stone, looking for a new beginning.

She didn't know every single person in the village even before it had progressed, and she certainly didn't attempt to learn every single newcomer's name either.

If they'd actually met, then she was probably nothing more than a brief, unimportant footnote in his life.

So she shrugged, and he turned back to his paperback. Silence and stillness returned.

 **10:55AM**

The can had long since been emptied, but she had really enjoyed staying at the abandoned playground.

She gathered up all of the remaining uneaten chocolate and tucked them into her handbag. All of her trash went into the plastic bag.

Maybe she could come back. Tomorrow.

The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea.

It was definitely different from staring at her television or laying about inside her bedroom.

The man paused in his reading to watch her as she fixed her things.

She flashed him a smile and made to leave.

"Would you stay?"

His voice stopped her. She turned back to him. Jade met emerald once again.

"If it rained, until the end of the world, would you stay?"

She didn't know what he was talking about. He did not explain himself.

Eventually his eyes dropped back to his book.

Slightly off balance, she walked away from the swing set and exited the playground.

 **11:30AM**

Back inside her bedroom, just in time to hear the sound of thunder from outside.

She flopped on top of the comforter, her feet tingly from all of the walking she did.

 **11:32AM**

The rain began to fall.

 **01:00PM**

She must have dozed off without realizing it.

Her body protested, and this time she heeded its complaints. She didn't feel like moving again for a long, long time.

 **02:10PM**

Sleeping, drinking, eating chocolate.

The occasional mission.

Hot baths.

And taking care of her son.

These were the only activities that she was interested in.

Television was numbing.

She never liked doing chores either, even as a little girl.

These days, the trash bags in the living room just seemed to multiply without ever stopping.

The kitchenette hadn't been used in ages, except the sink.

The air inside her condo had always felt comforting, but now it was stifling.

Going to the old playground had helped alleviate her burden. Helped a lot more than she thought.

Her ex-student would get his free ramen. She owed this new breakthrough to him, after all.

 **06:00PM**

She wrote down the man's parting words to her on a scrap of paper.

It was just a sudden impulse she had.

If he'd said it to her at any other time, she probably would have forgotten it. As it was, she found herself intrigued.

It was lyrical, structured. It could be a riddle.

After double checking to make sure she got all of the words exactly right, she put it down on her nightstand and headed off to the bathroom for her second bath that day.

 **06:20PM**

She'd completely forgotten that the hot water wasn't working anymore.

Woe.

 **07:00PM**

Maybe she could try her hand at cooking dinner, for once.

The kitchenette stood off against the western wall, looming above her head. It was daunting.

Unfortunately she couldn't muster enough motivation to plan a menu, or prep the ingredients.

So she gulped down two bottles of water and called it a night.

 **09:20PM**

The television was still on in the living room.

She'd fallen dead asleep before getting underneath the comforter.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	10. Second light

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox  
**

* * *

 **06:20AM**

She woke up to a shoulder pain and a pencil impression on her cheek. Her body shivered badly from the cold.

A quick massage dealt with the shoulder pain. The pencil impression would have to fade on its own.

A glance out the window revealed clouded skies.

 **06:40AM**

She couldn't get her hot bath until the apartment manager got back.

The manager's daughter was a good person. Hard-working. But she wouldn't be able to fix it.

This bath was not going to be pleasant.

But she was a shinobi. She had faced worse, she supposed.

 **07:20AM**

Her ex-student came pounding on her front door and making a general racket. Only he had the audacity to shout at the top of his lungs in early hours like this. She dragged him in before the neighbors started a shouting chorus of their own.

The blond demanded that she step out of the apartment for fresh air. And he wanted her to do it _now_.

She told him that she already did, the day before. And that she was planning to once more in a couple of minutes.

She was rewarded with big blue eyes, a bear hug, and a paper bag that contained her favorite doughnuts, along with a paper cup of coffee. He even got a newspaper for her.

After a long spiel about his last diplomatic mission, he asked her if she was going to work at the hospital today.

She told him the truth.

No.

But he was undaunted. He said that he was looking forward to the day he could get check ups from her again.

She thought it was sweet of him to say so.

When she was the last person anyone would want to get a physical from.

 **08:00AM**

The blond finally left in a flurry of orange.

 **08:02AM**

The bag of doughnuts taunted her from the kitchen table.

For her old student's sake, she tasted one.

...Nothing.

She dropped the rest of the doughnut back into the bag. The coffee was placed inside the fridge. The newspaper was untouched.

If she had time, she would just force herself to eat them when she got back. For dinner, maybe.

 **08:20AM**

Today she spent about the same amount of time as yesterday just standing at the door.

At least this time around, she wasn't unsure where to go.

The playground near the old hospital. The ancient swing set beckoned to her. And she would definitely be answering the call.

But first, a trip to the convenience store for another supply raid.

 **08:32AM**

The air conditioning inside the store wasn't working. Stepping inside almost felt like stepping into a sauna even with the open windows. At least it wasn't summertime.

And judging by the cleared out shelves, she made the right call to buy those alcoholic chocolates too.

She pretended to read a magazine when the same cashier from yesterday kept giving her strange looks again.

 **09:10AM**

The trees and the grass looked different.

Shinier. Happier.

It was all thanks to the rain from the day before.

The road that led to the abandoned playground was muddy, and she almost tripped from how sticky it was. But it didn't bother her, even when the mud clung to her boots. She even splashed some puddles.

She came to a halt after passing through the entrance. Someone was already at the playground.

Run.

Stay.

Her feet carried her forwards, making the decision for her.

 **09:11AM**

It was him.

The man from yesterday.

He came earlier this time around, she observed. But he'd ignored the swing she claimed the day before, choosing to sit on the other one instead.

She spotted an empty lunchbox and an umbrella on the closest bench. He probably had his breakfast here.

To her surprise, he gave her a nod and a slight smile when their eyes met across the clearing.

"Good morning."

For a brief moment, she felt at a loss for words.

She just needed to return the friendly greeting. Yes. Nothing to it.

But it had been so long since she'd spoken to someone that wasn't her son, her master, her blond student, or her ex. Someone who wasn't one of those four and who wasn't giving her pitying, judgmental looks.

"Um. Good morning."

She pushed her hair out of her face and sat down on her swing.

If the air felt awkward because of her gruff response, he did not show that it affected him.

 **09:25AM**

Unlike yesterday, she couldn't do anything too strange because she wasn't alone. This man sitting in the swing next to hers had been nothing but courteous and accommodating. And she didn't want to return his decency by ruining his reading time.

And so she sat and drank quietly, staring at her surroundings.

Not like there was any great lack of things to look at.

To her, all of the plants and trees somehow appeared even more beautiful than before. She could feel the beginnings of a smile tug at her lips the longer she looked.

It was the same old scenery she was used to seeing all these years. She shouldn't act like it was all new, because it wasn't.

But sitting like this, semi-alone in a playground that nobody visited anymore was just felt so good to her.

Even now, just looking at that sandbox for example, brought back memories of her days as a little girl.

What was it about childhood that never lets you go? Despite falling and breaking so hard you have a difficult time believing you were ever a child at one point?

 **09:50AM**

Her student had been very persistent in buying her food.

She recalled this morning, and all the other times he dropped in just to give her take out from a restaurant, fresh fruit, her favorite doughnuts, ice cream...

And she always made sure to eat what he brought her because she didn't think she could lie to his face if she tried to throw them away.

The second can of beer was almost done. There were two more cans to go.

Today was the first time he'd given her coffee. He got it despite not knowing what she liked. And he probably wanted to get some kind of feedback next time so he could get her something that she preferred.

The blond was very sweet for doing this.

She didn't have the heart to tell him that she couldn't taste the food. Those blue eyes were devastating when he was sad.

With a smack of her lips, the rest of the beer had been downed.

 **10:14AM**

She had to acknowledge that one day, they would find her here.

And one day, this playground would cease to be her little haven outside her apartment.

Which was a shame, really. All of her usual haunts, the places she frequented in the past, just didn't hold that same appeal as before. If this playground was invaded... she wouldn't know where else to go.

And her student had been so happy to learn that she'd taken those first steps outside on her own accord.

She would end up disappointing him. And in turn, disappoint herself.

She didn't feel any smarter at thirty than when she was fifteen.

Not even the creamy chocolate she was currently eating was making her feel any better.

 **10:29AM**

"Are you on a vacation?"

She froze, mid-sip. Emerald eyes darted to the man next to her.

He had been silent the whole time, keeping to himself. Her own thoughts had gotten darker and darker, to the point that she had stopped admiring the beauty of nature. She'd nearly forgotten that he was there in the process.

His question was politely curious. He'd closed his book, and it rested on his lap as he looked at her. It was innocent enough, and it gave her a clear chance to refuse answering his inquiry without offending him.

Still, her voice came out harder and more accusing than she meant it to be.

"What about you?"

To her, he reeked of success. It was in his cultured tone, his manners, his presence. Just thinking about it made her feel even more rotten.

There was a slight hint of a smile on his lips.

"I am on a break from work."

Her eyes widened. She never would have guessed that they were both hiding out in this place for the same reason.

He looked so pleased with himself and yet so guilty at this admission, it was kind of funny.

If he was willing to lay it out on the table, then so was she.

"And I'm just knocking back a couple beers in an abandoned playground on a week day."

As if unable to help himself, he chuckled along with her.

 **10:31AM**

Jade eyes flickered to the remaining beer cans before returning to her face.

"Perhaps you should eat something."

She arched her eyebrow at him.

"You seem to know a lot about this subject."

He solemnly shook his head.

"I do not drink. Although I am acquainted with several people who do, in my line of work."

Feeling mischievous, she set down her beer on the ground and rifled through her handbag. She pulled out a whole pile of assorted chocolates and held it up for him to see.

"How about these? Will they do?"

His eyes widened.

She snickered.

"I can see it in your eyes. You think I'm nuts."

He recovered at an admirably quick rate, but she didn't stop and talked right over whatever he'd been about to say.

"It's okay. I promise I'm saner than most. I'm just another human being, full of little quirks and flaws."

 **10:34AM**

She was putting the chocolate back into her bag when he spoke quietly.

"I believe you."

Her hand froze, and then resumed its motions.

The conversation died, and neither of them tried to restart it. Something else entirely had taken its place.

And it felt very comfortable to her.

 **10:50AM**

She hadn't yet gotten around to opening that last can of beer, but the sunlight was streaming through the clouds.

Even from the playground, sheltered in solitude, she could feel the rest of the village come to life.

"Well, It's about time for me to go. The sun's coming out, so..."

She didn't finish her sentence, and stood up from the swing. She already had both of her bags in hand and was ready to leave.

He also rose from his seat.

Now that they were both standing, she saw that he wasn't a giant by any means, just maybe three or four inches taller than her. But his average height didn't detract from the sheer force of his presence at all.

"You do not enjoy the sunlight?"

"It's okay, but I prefer cloudy days."

The deep stare he gave her was so unexpected, it stole her breath away.

"So do I."

She tried to cover up the strange feeling that ballooned inside her by babbling.

"Well, maybe we'll see each other again some time. I mean, it can't always be sunny."

This time when he smiled at her, she thought for the first time that he was very charming. In a brusque, yet disarming way.

Her feet swiftly carried her away from the man, the swing set and out of the playground.

 **11:47AM**

That letter hadn't been there when she left her condo. She was sure of it.

Of all the things she expected to happen to her on her list, this ranked near the bottom. But there was no changing the fact that this letter had been slipped underneath the crack in her door.

As a kunoichi first and foremost, she made sure that the perimeter was secure before attempting to pick it up off the floor.

 **12:06PM**

The envelope itself was rather old. At least, that was the sense she got from studying it despite its pristine appearance.

It wasn't a sealed envelope, either. Didn't the sender worry about losing the contents?

Inside, there was only a single piece of paper.

The handwriting was that of a child, making her eyebrows rise even higher. The message written was very short and to the point:

 _Please come back soon. I miss you so much._

She bit her lip. She could almost imagine a small child painstakingly writing these words, pouring out their emotions onto the page. And yet unable to truly express themselves beyond their desires. The image was so lonely, she dashed it away immediately.

It wasn't addressed to anyone, and there was no return address. Yet she was very sure that it was meant for her, because a lot of people knew where she lived. And it had been slid underneath her front door. Coincidences just didn't exist in her line of work.

At the back of her mind, she was still concerned. This could be some kind of prank, or trap, with intent to bring her harm.

If she were honest, she almost preferred that it was a trap and not a lonely child. It would be easier to deal with.

Besides, she didn't remember becoming acquainted with any children recently, and her son was still on his survival camping trip with his Academy classmates so it wasn't him.

It was confusing her to no end.

And so she placed the letter back inside the envelope, and hid it away under her mattress.

She would think about it later.

 **03:00PM**

The bright afternoon sun shining down upon her face was what roused her from her impromptu nap.

She did not feel like watching television after last night.

In the corner of her bedroom stood her bookcase, with all of her books for personal reading. Her medical tomes were all in the living room bookcase.

The man from the park had been reading a copy of _Mysteries of the Universe_ yesterday.

It wasn't as if she had anything better to do, anyways.

So she grabbed the first volume and plopped back onto her bed to read.

 **05:27PM**

If she took another cold bath, she would scream.

And she didn't think she could wait an entire week for the apartment manager to return.

With a defeated sigh, she pulled out a long unused kettle from a cabinet, filled it with water, and then set it to boil on a long unused stove.

The bath she had later wasn't hot, but warm was still better than cold.

 **07:00PM**

She didn't want to put it off any longer than she had to.

Now was the time to eat the food that her meddling blond student had gotten for her.

It was of course tasteless and bland as always. Nothing took away her appetite as effectively as it did now. But she still had a reluctant, fond grin on her lips as she choked down the doughnuts and coffee.

It really was thanks to him that her body hadn't wasted away completely, those first dark months.

 **09:20PM**

She made sure to fall asleep underneath the comforter this time.

The letter that she found, the one with the childish scrawl, was in her hand.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	11. Third and fourth light

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

Third light

.

.

 **06:20AM**

She woke up to a single line of words, directly in her line of vision.

 _Please come back soon. I miss you so much._

Without meaning to, she smiled.

She was still half-asleep, so her thoughts were not sensible.

But...

Knowing that somewhere out there a child held such pure feelings of longing for her, made her a bit happy to know she was wanted.

A more maternal side of her wanted to give this sweet child a big hug. Her own son didn't want to be hugged anymore, claiming he was no longer a baby, and she was slightly disappointed.

It was a small miracle that the letter did not get torn or crumpled during the night.

While carefully putting it back inside its envelope, she spared a glance out the window.

She was surprised to see the clouds again, after the last two times.

Maybe it was an omen.

 **06:30AM**

The kettle was put to boil again.

Once more, she contemplated the letter she'd received.

She would remain vigilant, but she no longer thought of it as a trap or a prank. It was just so sweet to be fake.

Or maybe that was her wishful thinking.

Either way, she did not feel threatened by the letter. And she felt just a little bit of her loneliness go away.

 **07:20AM**

The phone rang.

She knew only one person who would call her.

True to her prediction, her master's voice boomed from the other end.

The older woman had been so good to her, just like her blond ex-student. The older woman was an unyielding and reliable figure, and did her very best to stamp out the gossiping of the citizens before it became too much.

So she greeted the older blonde with all of the warmth that she could muster.

The woman told her that she could get started on the resignation paperwork any time she wanted.

That was it, then.

Her chance to let go and be free.

She wouldn't even have to worry about the hospital management because her master would surely push the application through.

It was all laid out for her already. All she needed to do was sign.

 **08:30AM**

Her personal funds were running low.

Today, she did not buy any chocolate from the convenience store.

Inside her handbag was a trashy romance novel and the can of beer she didn't drink the previous day. She would do her best to make the moment, and the beer, last for as long as possible.

Those clouds.

The playground.

Her swing.

They would not be denied her.

 **09:00AM**

The man had beaten her once again to the playground, but she didn't mind. He was absorbed in a different book today, she noticed immediately. It was a book about... handmade paper festival decorations of different cultures.

First a children's science paperback. Now a do-it-yourself arts and crafts manual. Despite herself, she was intrigued by his choices in reading material.

Just as he had done the day before, he acknowledged her with a nod and a smile.

"Good morning."

She had much more success responding this time around.

Her smile was still stiff, but it was sincere and she was glad.

"Good morning!"

Just as before, he claimed the other swing and left hers alone. It was almost as if he meant to save it for her.

She would not disappoint him, then.

Her handbag was placed next to the empty lunchbox on the bench.

As if to remind her of its age and wear, the iron support of the swing groaned under her weight.

Clouded skies.

Fresh, clean air.

Solitude and serenity.

The can made a sound that was pleasant to her ears when it was popped open.

She'd enjoyed the scenery and had her fill.

Now it was time to get lost in the pages of a fantasy drama between a sheltered heiress and an alien prince from the moon.

 **10:00AM**

 _I wish I could tell you that I'm happy for you. For the both of you._

 _But I really can't. I'm a bad person._

 _Because the truth is, I was hoping you'd say that I was still the one._

 _Please let it be me. Let it be me again._

Emerald eyes watered. Tiny droplets slid down her cheeks. She could not breathe. Her lungs felt crushed under the weight of the alien prince's response.

 _I love her with all that I am._

 _She loved me at my worst. You had me at my best._

 _And it meant nothing to you._

She sobbed loudly, startling the man who was still reading quietly in the swing next to hers. But she did not notice his alarmed expression.

The emotions were just too strong, and she was being swept away by the drama unfolding in the science fiction world. She deeply sympathized with characters' thoughts and desires.

Sympathized so much, that she could not stop from herself from reading the female lead's lines aloud.

"Is that really what you think? I just made a choice!"

 _And you chose to break my heart._

"No, I never meant to hurt you! Never!"

Jade eyes studied the cover of the romance novel, before trailing back up to her face in bewilderment.

 **10:10AM**

"I don't need any of that!"

She felt very defensive when he tried to give her a packet of tissues, which he'd left the playground briefly to purchase.

It was very considerate of him.

But she did not need the tissues.

Really.

She didn't.

Why was he looking at her like that.

"The storytelling was just really good! And it was so realistic!"

He insisted.

She declined more fiercely.

In the midst of her adamant refusal, her beer slipped from her fingers and rolled away. The remaining liquid seeped into the ground.

 **10:20AM**

They relocated to the bench after some coaxing.

He awkwardly patted her head while she hiccuped into his shoulder.

His lap was covered with balled up tissues.

 **11:20AM**

She gasped and straightened, releasing her stranglehold on his arm.

To her horror, she'd fallen asleep against the poor man and trapped him for at least an hour after crying.

Her face burned.

Her body was already moving on its own.

Without glancing back at him, she grabbed her handbag and ran home as fast as she could.

* * *

Fourth light

.

.

 **06:40AM**

She woke up to a faint nostalgic sensation.

Last night, she had a dream. The first one in a long while.

It was a dream about when she was still a child.

Or at least, she thought it went like that. She could barely remember it now.

All that remained were the emotions the dream evoked within her.

Almost unconsciously, her gaze flickered to the window.

The majestic dark clouds beckoned to her, as always.

 **06:42AM**

Suddenly, a memory of the day before flashed through her mind.

Her pillow did not completely muffle her screams.

 **07:30AM**

When she first moved to her apartment last year, she'd grown ornery and distant.

No patience for socializing.

No motivation to deal with people who wouldn't drink with her.

Her student, her master, her ex-husband, her son.

There was a limit to how much time she could stand to be with them.

Never did they do anything to deserve the cold shoulder. Her son was innocent. Her student was unchanging. Her master was supportive. Her ex was there for her despite everything. But she couldn't help it. And she wasn't proud of herself.

So when she stepped out of her apartment that morning, there was no hesitation in her stride. No room for second thoughts.

If the man always took his breakfast at the abandoned playground, then he would surely be there at this very moment.

At least, she hoped so.

She needed to apologize to him for running away so abruptly, and make amends for burdening him. He had been her first successful contact with another stranger in so long. She did not want to ruin whatever frail bond they'd formed.

 **08:04AM**

With much nervousness, she stepped out of the trees.

There he was, sitting on the bench and eating. Just as she'd hoped.

He slowly lowered his takeaway coffee cup.

Jade met emerald.

 **08:09AM**

"I just wanted-"

"Please allow me-"

"I'm sorry, I cut you off."

"No, I am sorry. Please go ahead."

"No, I insist. You go first."

He held out a second disposable takeaway cup to her.

At first, she thought his face was emotionless, but actually it was more like... he was embarrassed.

"Please accept this as a token of my apology. For causing you to spill your drink the day before."

She bit her lip and graciously accepted it from him.

In turn, she apologized for using his shoulder as a pillow. She was not going to apologize for crying over the romance novel, though.

With complete seriousness, he asked her if the novel she was reading was truly that interesting.

 **08:41AM**

She had been animatedly discussing literature with him for a good while now. As she suspected, he was a very wide reader like her, and had many thoughtful comments to share on books they had both read.

His tastes in genre appeared to lean towards philosophical and theoretical, but he had a surprising amount of knowledge about many kinds of topics in general.

Then he began telling her of places he had seen and people he had met in his travels. A little hamlet hidden inside a sleeping volcano. A civilization of artists and dreamers, who believe that they are all just living in someone else's story. Tribes of nomadic people who live and speak the language of the stars.

What wonderful places the man had seen. His words made her feel small, yet also incalculably large.

He explained the concept of sonder, the realization that everybody around them, all have thoughts and hopes and dreams and fears. She was her own tiny galaxy, and so was everybody else.

 **09:14AM**

The drink he'd bought for her would be cool enough to drink by now. She kept her eyes on him, listening to his tale with rapt interest.

To her surprise, she tasted the rich flavor of the black coffee just fine.

A very strong, blunt flavor. Smooth. Not too bitter.

A special blend served by the coffee shop on the 31st street.

Inside her chest, she was warm.

She had a cup before, on a whim. But it this was different, somehow.

It was the most delicious coffee she'd ever had in a long, long while.

 **09:30AM**

"Is this conversation... boring?"

"What? No, not at all. Why do you ask?"

He gave her a somber look.

"You have asked me so many questions. Not once have I allowed you to speak of your own experiences."

She quickly shook her head.

"I think it's very interesting! I think you have an incredible talent for it. For storytelling, I mean."

"Thank you."

 **10:29AM**

The sunlight was coming out much sooner than yesterday. Her reluctance to leave the playground felt stronger.

She wanted to stay. She wanted him to tell her more about the universe, about herself, about whether or not his camel ever stayed attached to his cart during his long pilgrimage into an unknown wasteland.

And once again, she wondered why. Why did the man's words make her so emotional. What about them, specifically. Why did she feel so much for the hardships of a man she'd only known for a couple minutes.

The answer was immediate and obvious.

Because he was a stranger.

Sometimes it was just easier to talk to strangers about important topics - suicide, religion, metaphysics - than it was to have the same conversation with a family member or very good friend.

The barriers that kept a person from sharing could often melt away when you know you don't really know someone. When there was far fewer context to be judged within.

Somehow, between their first meeting and now, she had become his sounding board.

Maybe, just maybe, he could be that for her.

And so her thoughts went, as she turned her back and finally stepped out of the playground.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	12. Lights and sounds

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

And just like that, the rainy season began.

It became a necessity to bring an umbrella along with her to her special spot on cloudy days.

She tried to do as many easy solo missions as possible on sunny days to pass the time and save money, in anticipation of deep dark clouds.

They continuously crossed paths with each other at the playground. With all those stolen hours together adding up, they were holding pleasant conversations about the mundane and the exotic, more often than not. It was a far cry from the awkward morning greetings they once exchanged.

After he'd purchased a coffee for her as an apology, she'd done the same for him the very next day instead of buying from her usual convenience store. The day after that, he'd bought her coffee again as thanks, and it only went on from there. Her days of beer seemed over for good.

It was only natural to begin coordinating their arrival times at the playground. Especially when she noticed that his meals consisted only of take out and fried foods. Her long-buried doctor persona reared its head and teamed up with her maternal side.

While thinking of him and his health, she'd picked up bread, ham, tomatoes and lettuce from the twenty-four hour grocery one night.

The very next morning, they'd shared sandwiches while discussing the finer points of another mutual favorite book.

Her tongue had practically sprung to attention when she took her first bite.

It had been days since she last had _real_ food. She finally understood how much she'd been starving.

She was not ashamed to say that she'd already finished half when he took his second bite.

Seeing his jade eyes widen with boyish delight at the prospect of home cooked food had sealed the deal.

So she'd dusted off her old pots and pans and set to work making breakfast for two when the clouds came. Nobody had asked her to do this. But she knew that if she wanted to look out for her new friend's health, she would need to take care of her own meals as well.

Since then, he had taken over the duty of buying their coffee completely.

Bringing along their books to the playground was more or less a formality now.

.

.

It was over a nice meal of seafood salad and toast when he'd confessed that he was planning to eventually quit his job to become an author.

She immediately felt humbled and honored when he admitted that he'd never told anyone of his secret ambition before.

A light rain had begun falling several minutes ago. They were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the bench instead of the swings. Their bodies and their food sheltered by his umbrella.

"Each time I hold the pen, I feel as if I am creating something. _Truly_ creating something."

His voice was hushed, as if afraid to break the serenity of the moment.

She hung on to every word. Every pause.

"I understand that I am but one in a million hopefuls, and that there will be authors who will be better than me at the craft. But it is what I would like to do in the future, and I intend to see it through."

As she chewed her food, she thought about it. It was clear that this meant a lot to him, so she wanted to take this as seriously as he did. So she gave his future dream every bit of consideration it deserved.

After a moment, she swallowed down both her coffee and the superfluous comments, to give him her honest verdict.

"I wholeheartedly believe that you'll do well. Your way with words is beautiful and poetic, and you have a wonderful talent in speech."

His jade eyes looked impossibly soft to her at this close range.

"Thank you."

"Have you written anything before?"

He gave a small shrug, his warm shoulder shifting against hers.

"Reports, essays, speeches. The occasional correspondence. ...A short story, which I wrote in my younger years."

"Oh! Does that mean you always wanted to become an author? Ever since you were a kid?"

"Yes. But at the time, such pursuits were not feasible for someone like me. Though I was forced to change my path, I had always intended to one day step down and continue to my original goal."

"Wow. That's so... so incredible. And inspiring."

He broke his gaze away from hers.

But they sat so close to each other that she could see the tips of his ears burn red. He was very good at pretending to be unaffected by her praise, but she knew he was feeling embarrassed. Seeing him this way tickled her pink, and she smothered her giggles into her hand.

It had been another thing she learned about him as they spent time together.

She had thought him to have the perfect stoic facade, but if she looked close enough, she could see all of the little ways his emotions affected him physically.

Nevertheless, she was still surprised by his admission.

He had always seemed to be the quiet and unassuming type to her despite his compelling presence.

It certainly fit her image of him and his brusque, yet kind manner.

Today was the first time she ever thought of him as passionate. Definitely the kind of man who went after his desires with all of his being. She almost felt pity for the poor men who dared to stand in his way.

His strange turn of phrase made her pause, however.

'Such pursuits were not feasible for someone like him'? What did he mean by that?

But she did not ask. Instead, she chose a different line of inquiry.

"Um, would it be alright for me to see it? Your short story, I mean."

Jade eyes stared into emerald.

For a brief second, she had a feeling he would turn down her request.

But then he said-

"Perhaps. I shall let you know once I find the manuscript."

.

.

On the surface, it was business as usual within the village. Work and school continued on as it always had. The days were cold, the rain showers were irregular, and the skies were wide and endless. The streets were crowded with people with umbrellas and raincoats. Going on with their own lives.

There were significant changes happening inside her, and she welcomed them with open arms.

Simply _connecting_ with another person seemed like a miracle in a world of seven billion souls. Seven billion private universes. Each with their own hopes, dreams, fears.

Of the seven billion universes, he'd walked right into hers.

The playground of her childhood, the playground that she'd grown up with, was never the same again. And it was beautiful.

Evenings before she went to sleep. Mornings in the moment she woke up.

She was _praying_ for the clouds to come.

Because on sunny days she wasn't willing to spend any significant time outside her apartment. Taking those easy solo missions could only distract her so much, and it was still too little. She would become crabby, restless, and irritated with herself. With everything.

And these feelings only melted away whenever she arrived at their special place near the old hospital building, and he smiled at her.

It wasn't just because she was receiving the undivided attention of a charming, worldly man.

She felt that they had a similar mentality.

Each unplanned rendezvous was a meeting of minds.

On those precious mornings they spent together under the cover of clouds, she felt herself being reborn.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	13. Fading light

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

 **05:00AM**

She woke up bright and early to the first rays of sunlight.

Her bed was made, and all of her hygienic rituals were completed.

It didn't bother her too much that it was sunny, because she had been waiting for a chance like this.

There would be no missions today for her, because she had much to do.

Today she would begin cleaning up and packing her bags.

 **05:30AM**

At the sight of the small magic kit, her hand froze.

Seeing it brought so many memories of her childhood.

In the past, she had wanted to be something else. Someone else. Practicing one of the most basic magician's tricks, the sleight of hand, had been her quiet rebellion against the infiltrator role that many kunoichi had been forced to take.

Nobody had appreciated it, of course. These kinds of things had no merit on the war front.

Of course, she'd never stopped practicing the art of the sleight of hand on her down time, but it became distantly second to the medical training that her master was giving her. And one thing led to another.

She couldn't possibly throw away something that held so much sentimental value for her. Something that had actually saved her more than once in certain kinds of missions. It was a part of her identity, and weren't these past couple weeks all about finding herself again?

The kit was reverently placed on top of her kitchen table.

 **06:00AM**

She was just returning from taking out the trash when she was accosted by her ex-student. It had been at least five weeks since they'd last seen each other, and he had been on his way home from reporting in another successful diplomatic mission.

The blond was bewildered upon entering her condo.

Over the course of a month, her dreary little home had transformed into a lively one.

He stared, open-mouthed, at the sight of pots simmering on the stove. He blinked rapidly at the clean surfaces and polished floors. His blue eyes watered at the sight of their old team photo cleaned up and standing proudly on top of the coffee table.

She rolled her eyes, but she felt glad all the same.

For such a long time, she'd worried him and the others with her own self-destructive tendencies. Wasn't she already an adult? Hadn't she already grown past throwing tantrums, and hiding within herself like a child?

But somewhere along the way, she'd finally begun putting herself back together.

And it was only the beginning.

 **06:30AM**

The blond gave her a forlorn look, but at the same time it was so very wise.

If she hadn't believed in him before, when he claimed that he would become top dog of the village one day...

Now, she would believe it. He wasn't in office yet, but she could see he had all the makings of a great leader.

He did protest at first. It was him, he always did this no matter how many years had passed. But then he smiled and wished her good luck in her new journey.

The hug they shared was sad, yet happy.

A hug between two comrades who had experienced many hardships together. A hug of _farewell, we will meet again_.

 **07:00AM**

Her student had left, and she'd finished her packing in record time.

All of the required paperwork had been processed thanks to the combined efforts of her master.

It was just a matter of finding the right time to break the news to her ex and their son, followed by finding the right moment to leave.

A quick glance out the window showed that the sky was a beautiful, cloudless blue.

It was then she decided that it didn't matter what the weather was like.

 **07:20AM**

When she stepped out of her apartment and into the sun, she wasn't holding anything. No bag, no umbrella, no book.

There was nothing for her to use as a shield.

She checked her watch, purely out of habit and need. A strange need to keep careful track of the hour.

Now was the time to stop pretending that she did not know what was happening between her and the man she'd met in the park.

 **08:00AM**

It was the faint coppery scent that made her feet halt right at the entrance.

As a seasoned kunoichi and medic, coming across this particular smell in her special hideaway was like meeting an old acquaintance from the past. An old acquaintance she was never fond of, but tolerated because it went hand in hand with her line of work.

As a veteran shinobi, she was hardened against any possible hostile confrontation.

She squared her shoulders and stepped into the lion's den.

 **08:05AM**

Under the cheerful sun, the playground, the overgrown trees and grass looked like a completely alien place to her.

And standing there, in the center of it all, was the man.

After several heartbeats, he shifted slightly.

Jade met emerald.

She didn't know what to expect.

The morning light was enough to illuminate the splotches of red on his dark clothing and shoes.

Some things should have remained in the shadows. Some things should have remained hidden from the sun.

She shouldn't have come without the cover of clouds.

But now that she was here, she could see the manic light in his blank eyes.

It was the look of a person who has just killed another.

His presence in front of her now was a quiet declaration of who was the killer.

And inside her chest, her heart felt as if it were encased inside a block of ice.

 **08:10AM**

After a moment, she realized that his lips were moving, and that he was trying to talk to her.

"I did not expect to see you here, today."

His voice, the voice she had come to love, was as gentle as always.

And perhaps it sounded rueful as well.

Guilty.

It was so _wrong_.

She felt herself being scrutinized by his blank eyes.

A trail of cold perspiration trailed downwards, in between her shoulder blades.

Killing wasn't always as simple as people thought it was these days.

Especially now, with the alliance of the five major shinobi powers, and foreigners leaving and entering the village on an almost daily basis. During war, it was just another number on the ledger. But in peace time, it was murder. And it was a threat to the alliance.

"You don't have your bag. Were you not planning to stay?"

It was a small miracle that she was able to find her voice.

"I came here to look for you. To talk to you. It was just a sudden impulse I had; I wasn't expecting to actually find you."

She gestured helplessly.

"What... what happened?"

He did not respond.

She took one step towards him..

 **08:15AM**

"Don't."

Her body went rigid.

"Don't what?"

"Don't come any closer."

He was quietly pleading her.

It didn't make any sense, because wasn't she the one who was supposed to be saying such things?

And it was too late to go back now.

He knew it. She knew it. He knew that she knew.

But it didn't stop him from trying to salvage what was left. Stealing whatever he could from time's suitcase.

"I never meant for you to see me this way."

The gleam in his eyes became stronger. His words were strangely hypnotic.

"I just wanted you to see the better part of me. But in the end, I always end up betraying myself. Over and over... and over..."

It was so very hard to breathe in the heavy tension, much less talk.

The bond they'd formed over the course of five weeks seemed to evaporate before her eyes. To be replaced with fear. Uncertainty. Distrust.

Despite everything, she could not look away from those blank eyes. Something told her not to look away no matter what, or she would lose everything.

At the corner of her mind, a memory began to surface.

Many years ago, she had met someone who had the same exact expression as the one he had now. Like a child who had been caught doing something bad and was afraid of retaliation or punishment. Similar circumstances as now.

Clouded skies. A swing set. Sand for as far as the eye can see.

Within her mind, those memories super imposed another, much younger face on top of his.

Yes. It all fit.

He was not as much of a stranger as she thought.

And suddenly she wasn't looking into the eyes of a possible murderer, but the eyes of a scared little boy who was left behind.

 **08:20AM**

Later she could muse on the irony of it all but now was the time to take action.

It was difficult to explain the leap she'd made. It was like flinging herself off a steep cliff.

There is everything you know, and everything that is happening. When the two do not line up, a choice must be made.

She saw a man who shared the same space with her. She saw a man who was possibly more dangerous than she expected.

She saw a little boy who was scared and needed reassurance.

Underneath the underneath.

As if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, her breaths came easier.

He saw her at her worst, and he'd stayed.

So she would do the same.

She gave in.

Off of the cliff.

Like it was just another day for the two of them, her body relaxed completely.

And after taking a pointed look at his clothes, she spoke.

"Want to use my shower to wash off that blood? I can't promise you hot water, though."

He exhaled harshly. His next words were even harsher in spite of the deceptive calm.

"You don't know what you're doing."

She was an adult, therefore she did not need to answer him with unnecessary dry retorts.

So she met his bluster with all of the warmth she could muster. All the warmth that she felt for the boy who had looked at her like she was the most incredible thing in the world. All the warmth she felt for the man who'd quietly stayed by her side when she didn't even want to live in her own skin.

Moving slowly as to not startle him. Turning both of her palms gently upward.

Beckoning him to come closer with her smile, the same one that had worked years before.

 **08:25AM**

She didn't know what she would have done if he didn't follow her out of the playground.

But he did.

The trip back to her apartment was short. They could not linger outside while he was still wreathed in the same coppery smell.

She opened the front door and walked in first. She stopped and turned when she noticed that he had yet to do the same.

"What's the matter?"

"Are you sure it's alright to invite a stranger, and a man, into your home?"

His words. The way his eyes didn't quite reach hers.

She sucked in a breath.

He knew. He _knew_.

There was no question about it. Somehow, he'd discovered what had happened to her, and the information was slowly killing her inside.

He was being considerate of her despite his current state. His kindness was shattering her composure once again.

Tears formed at the corners of her eyes.

"Are you a stranger?"

 _Are you going to hurt me?_ was what she was really asking.

His jade eyes softened before becoming resolved.

The door closed behind him.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	14. Interlude: Tsunade

**Long Distance**

* * *

At a certain point in time after the Fourth Secret War, social change had happened.

Particularly in the big cities, divorce became a part of culture itself.

Statistics reveal that "first marriages" stood a forty-five percent chance of breaking up and "second marriages" a sixty percent chance. But those numbers just confirmed what people already knew: that divorce had increased not only in frequency but also in acceptance.

Sixty years ago, the concept of divorce was considered taboo, and highly discouraged especially within noble families. If there was a problem between the married couple, they had to work it out and stay together. Because that was what love and marriage was supposed to be about.

With more civilian women entering the main work force and beginning careers, dynamics within a household had evolved into one of mutual understanding and decision-making.

Women working outside the home gained a measure of economic freedom. This in turn created less of an incentive to work out marital differences.

The independence produced by increased household income also gave men a loophole to reduce their sense of responsibility and commitment to a marriage.

And the most popular reason: why stay in a difficult or loveless relationship?

Move on, they said. Find whatever it is that will provide happiness. Don't force yourself to suffer needlessly. The Elemental Nations was a big place.

Truly, love and marriage was never the same again.

.

.

It was almost a pity, really.

In the big cities, divorcing couples informed their peers and their children of the impending separation as a team. Explained the new rules. Clarified all of the questions.

Her apprentice and that perpetually tardy jounin had separated from each other before that age of enlightenment.

When she was gone, she was _gone_.

The poor man had to sit down with their son and break the news to the boy by himself.

And although he would rather not, being the aloof man that he was, even with all of his faults he still cared about her and the family they could have had. He never would have forced her to have this talk if she didn't want to; if he were allowed, he would have taken the entire burden onto his own shoulders.

If the Sannin was asked to pinpoint when the couple's problems began, she would say that it was after her apprentice's parents had become casualties in the Oto-Kumo joint invasion during the chuunin exams. Something fragile within the emerald-eyed woman had broken then.

From there, everything between the married couple had devolved into cold shoulders, heated arguments, and the general inability to communicate with the amount of missions that had piled up in those days.

Many shinobi had died to defend Konoha from the invasion, and both of them had been A-ranked jounin.

They had to take these missions because of their duty, and very rarely saw each other.

As if it was a trick of some higher power, her apprentice had lost one student to death. The other turned out to be a traitor. The third abruptly left with his godfather for a training trip in order to avoid the men in black cloaks, but he was faultless.

The younger medic was simply a victim of circumstances.

Unfortunate circumstances, one after another, that led to the pink-haired doctor attempting to commit suicide on an early winter night.

Her apprentice had already fallen over the edge.

This stunt merely pushed her emotionally wrecked husband over the edge along with her.

It was the last straw.

He was miserable. She was miserable. They were sick of each others' misery. Their beautiful son was suffering from both his parents' self-destruction.

Frankly, she was disappointed in the both of them.

Her apprentice was supposed to be stronger than that. He was supposed to be stronger than that.

But when the entire family entered her office and quietly asked for the divorce papers, even she could tell it was much too late for an intervention.

Love couldn't save this family, in the end. It was still there, underneath the underneath, but it simply wasn't enough.

He had been constantly ribbed for how thin he was getting from his coworkers.

Her emerald eyes had all but lost their shine.

The little boy appeared to have aged against his will, was not the same innocent sweet thing he was years ago. It wouldn't be a surprise if he had developed some kind of resentment or complex for his mother and father. In an environment like the one in his home, the blonde Sannin could only imagine what hell he'd been through.

Yet being a good parent was very hard. There was no real "how-to" when it came down to it.

It was even harder when the world around the couple just kept betraying them over and over.

And that was how life went.

The paperwork was a solemn ritual. Their ten year marriage ended officially with an approval stamp.

And then he'd left her. Or maybe she'd left him.

Who could say? It was complicated.

If only it had ended there, when the paperwork had been completed and processed, maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad.

But it didn't.

.

.

Oh thank the gods for the recent boom in technology. Video conference calls were such an incredible invention.

Much, much more preferable to getting her manicured hand cramped from writing correspondence.

It was also much more convenient, not to mention she got to stare straight at the Godaime Kazekage as she laid the details of the situation all out on the table.

Long story short, that pesky baby brother of the Kazekage had murdered a couple of her citizens.

As if the situation weren't bad enough, said baby brother also happened to be an ambassador from Suna.

The older blonde personally thought the redhead had done her a favor - these citizens had been a constant pain in the ass with all of these ridiculous "civil rights" protests lately and she'd already marked several of them to be dispatched by the ANBU, because they weren't selling "civil rights" at all.

They were also a part of the group who had slandered her apprentice after her divorce, but that was beside the point.

The point being, that the Kazekage's pesky baby brother had unlawfully killed several Konoha citizens unprovoked, thereby breaking the rules of the shinobi alliance which had been agreed upon and signed with blood by all five Kage.

She wasn't excited about the paperwork and bureaucratic _bull_ this was going to generate but rules existed for a reason.

As Hokage, she would have to uphold these rules if only to maintain her position and public facade. Additionally, while these people were certainly douchebags who'd been slated for assassination, they still counted as part of Konoha's area of jurisdiction.

The Godaime Kazekage had grown silent during the older blonde's tirade. After a moment, she asked a single question.

She wanted to know if the investigation turned up a reason for her ambassador's behavior.

The Hokage grinned.

As it turned out, the reason was simple.

He'd done it in retaliation to the words of those civilians.

Those words, which had cast a certain pink-haired apprentice in a negative light.

In other words, he did it for love.

The Sannin went on to describe how the Suna ambassador and her apprentice had been meeting each other quite often, and how the blonde had decided to allow it as she saw no harm in their new-found bond. Her ANBU spies had made it abundantly clear that the way the redhead looked at the pink doctor was one of the deepest of attractions.

She ended the summary with a plea to waive whatever punishment was waiting for him back in Suna. After all, he'd single-handedly done what no one else could do: he'd helped the girl that the Sannin considered a younger sister back onto her feet.

The Kazekage smiled softly.

Apparently she was already planning on doing so. After all, while she and her other brother, the puppet-wielder, had lost their chance to become close to their baby brother a long time ago, they were all still family.

Besides, after many years of dedicated service, she figured that he deserved to be granted dedication in return.

She may not be the best Kazekage, but she could certainly try to be the best leader that she could be.

The video conference call ended on a pleasant note.

But there was still the matter of what to do with the Suna diplomat.

He still needed to receive some form of punishment. Consequences will always have their actions.

And she was not going to just hand over her apprentice so easily, especially after what happened the first time. Her being grateful for how he helped the emerald-eyed doctor had nothing to do with it. It was the principal of the matter.

What to do...

It was after finishing her morning output of paperwork that the solution came to her.

She immediately made a summons for the Copy Ninja.

.

.

 **Long Distance**

 **The End**

* * *

 **TBC...**


	15. A tiny light

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

 **09:00AM**

Her body froze, hyper-aware of the bathroom door as it clicked open and shut.

The fresh and clean smell of soap permeated the air.

She was waiting for the telltale sounds of his footsteps, of anything, that would hint as to what he was doing. When nothing came, she got the impression that he had stayed put in front of the bathroom.

With a deep breath, she turned around.

The first thing her traitorous mind noticed was how different he looked when his red hair wasn't perfectly combed. The usual style she saw on him was always neat, formal, not a single strand out of place. Now it fell over his forehead in soft spikes that she almost felt tempted to touch.

From there, her gaze raked over his appearance.

The way his shoulders and frame filled out the bathrobe she'd lent him. The hint of muscle that showed just beneath the robe fabric.

Nowhere could she find the little boy of over a decade ago. There was no sign of the man she'd befriended over the past couple of weeks. Perhaps most importantly, the man with the bank eyes and the scent of death had seemingly vanished.

Her stare slowly traveled upwards.

Jade met emerald.

Those eyes were different, too.

Who was this man, standing in front of her in her home?

 **09:02AM**

She cleared her throat to break the growing tension in the condo.

With a soft, inviting smile, she pointed to the coffee mugs that she'd set out on the table.

"Breakfast will be ready in just a few more minutes."

After delivering these words, she turned back to the stove. It would be entirely up to him if he wanted to accept this civil, familiar gesture.

His soft baritone murmured a response after the longest of minutes.

"...Thank you."

When she heard the scrape of the chair as he sat down, she admitted to herself that she was glad they could still _talk_ to each other.

 **09:20AM**

"It's delicious, as always."

In between enthusiastic spoonfuls, he'd complimented her dishes.

She smiled sweetly.

"Naturally!"

It had been much too easy to fall back into the routine of cooking for the both of them. As easy as letting her head fall into her pillow at night.

No more pretexts. No more shields. No more excuses.

That was what she'd wanted when she left her apartment to go and find him without the cover of the clouds.

She was all too aware of what had been growing between them at that abandoned playground, during all of those stolen moments together. And she'd wanted to know if it was going anywhere or not. That was her original reason for inviting him to her apartment, before their strange encounter in the playground an hour ago.

In those meetings, they'd never exchanged any concrete details about themselves. They never talked about the happenings of their personal lives, but at the same time they'd shared intimate information such as his aspirations to be an author and her broad knowledge of theoretical human medicine.

She probably sounded trite for thinking it, but their meeting of minds was just so innocent. Just two lonely people who found a friend in each other.

And in less than an hour, they'd both revealed to know some things about the other person. Things that maybe could have stayed hidden from the sunlight instead of complicating everything further. Just like that, the illusion was already cracking at the seams.

Seeing him fresh out of the shower, and now, sitting across the table from her, made it all more real to her.

Jade met emerald.

Their smiles had slowly become less strained as seconds passed.

The last bits of tension were still very much there, but it was covered by a blanket of familiarity and mutual understanding.

Everything had happened so fast, that they'd stumbled and became confused.

But there was no need to rush it.

One step at a time.

 **09:40AM**

She rejected his offer to wash the dishes. It was only fair, as he was the guest that she'd invited into her home.

With firm encouragement, she invited him to have look around.

It was her way of letting him get a closer peek at the woman she was.

"You are planning on taking a trip?"

Of course the first thing he noticed were her travel bags. She had yet to use any storage seals so they sat against the wall next to her ancient television set in plain view.

"I was always thinking about it, but it was only recently I got the motivation to really start packing."

He nodded and began perusing the picture frames she hadn't gotten around to storing away yet this morning.

So she was surprised when he suddenly asked her a follow-up question.

"Where will you go?"

And wasn't that the same thing she'd asked herself a thousand times before going to sleep at night.

"I don't know yet."

When he turned around, she held her breath.

He truly appeared to want to say something to her, but in the end the moment passed and he continued to explore instead. Since she was being honest with herself, she could admit that if he'd asked her to come to Suna with him, she wouldn't have known what to say in response.

 **10:10AM**

His clothes were safely loaded into the dryer.

There was still about half an hour left before he would have his coat and pants back, freshly washed and ready to wear.

"These are all of your medical texts?"

"Not exactly. Some I do own, and others are from the library."

She distractedly watched him touch the tips of his fingers along the hardcover spines. After thinking about all of the possible scenarios where in he would ask her to go with him to his home village, she suddenly found herself with the desire to reconnect with that little boy she'd met years ago.

It was too bad she couldn't find the nerve to simply come out and say it.

What if he didn't remember her?

She didn't want to break the comfortable atmosphere that had settled around them. Especially when not long ago, she'd believed they could never be at ease around each other ever again.

It had to be in a way that wasn't too invasive or weird, but at the same time just obvious enough that would bring the message across.

Emerald eyes alighted on the magic kit she'd found earlier this morning.

And then it came to her.

 **10:14AM**

She lounged on one side of the couch. He on the other.

Once she was absolutely certain that she'd caught part of his attention, she began.

He watched, fascinated, as the stone tumbled up and down the length of her arm of its own volition. No strings. No mechanisms. No chakra.

He gasped when it _vanished_ into thin air, only to reappear a second later, stuck to her forehead and framed by pink locks. As if it was meant to be there.

The kunoichi repeated the mesmerizing motions several more times.

The stone crawled down the side of her face. Weaved in and out of her fingers. Dropped straight down, only to come to a complete halt just before hitting the ground, then snapped straight back up into her waiting palm as if compelled by the unseen force.

And just like that, she was done.

"I haven't done that in a while. But, I still think I've got it."

Her casual tone was at odds with the alertness in her tense shoulders.

Jade eyes widened with shock. Growing wider by the second as the gravity of the event sunk in. His reaction encouraged her.

She met his incredulous, wonder-filled gaze with her own soft and mischievous one.

 **10:15AM**

"So. What do you think... Gaara?"

"..."

"Gaara?"

 **10:16AM**

"... _Sakura_."

 **10:17AM**

Her name had been spoken like a prayer.

The pink haired female suddenly found herself leaning against the armrest of the couch, with her arms full of clean smelling, trembling red head. His arms were holding her so tightly she was sure he never planned to let go ever again.

She wasn't expecting _this_ kind of reaction, that was for sure.

He whispered brokenly into her shoulder.

"Missed you... so much."

And so the childhood friends had been reunited, truly reunited, at last.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	16. Light years

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

 **10:35AM**

Several minutes later his trembling had stopped. But he still wasn't ready to release her from his hold, judging by the desperate and almost painful way his fingers dug into her skin.

All she could do was keep her own arms wrapped around him.

But she was beginning to get restless; her current position on the couch was awkward and not very comfortable at all.

And the sun was just about to reach its zenith. The sunlight was streaming down directly on her face. The steady source of prickling heat was beginning to bother her.

Her emerald gaze shifted, refocused, from the body that trapped her against the couch to the unruly, red hair in front of her face, nestled into the hollow of her left shoulder. She could not see his face from this angle but she could hear his deep, even breaths.

He didn't fall asleep on top of her, did he?

She poked his head.

The male grunted halfheartedly, his breath tickling her neck, but otherwise remained still.

It was sometimes hard to believe that he was seven whole years younger than her. Back when she still did not recognize him, she had believed him to at least be around her age, more or less. Years of fatigue had taken their toll on his appearance, and combined with his intricate knowledge and experience in various topics was it any wonder she'd guessed his age wrong?

She poked him again, and he did not even flinch this time.

 _Oh_.

His hair was so soft. It was as fluffy as a baby's!

With big grin, she dug her fingers into the mess of loose red spikes and indulged herself in the feel of his fine hair.

Her nails lightly raked across the scalp, and he made another rumbling noise from deep in his throat. She stilled immediately, mid-scratch. She worried that she'd crossed the line with that one.

But then he raised his head off of her shoulder slightly to give her a miffed look.

"Why did you stop?"

"Eh? W-well, I thought..."

She resumed the scratching motions, and he lightly dropped his head back onto the hollow of her shoulder.

 **10:50AM**

Not even his thick, heavenly hair could distract her from the annoying sunlight shining through the window for long.

"Um, can you get off of me please? I can't feel my legs anymore."

"Mmm."

"...Oi."

 **11:00AM**

After failing to coax the surprisingly stubborn male to let go, she tried a different tactic.

"Back then, didn't we do something like this? Cuddling, I mean."

She sighed dramatically.

"You were so cute back then, like a teddy bear! You didn't even have a problem with sharing a bed and a blanket with a girl. And we talked all night long together about everything. We had to keep our voices down though, because my master had had a really bad hangover... whoa!"

Message received.

Without a word of explanation, the redhead had slipped off her body to his feet, swept her up into his arms, and was now carrying her to her bedroom.

All of that in the space of seven seconds.

As she gently rocked within his arms with each step, she gave him a suspicious stare.

"So you can move pretty fast if you want to, huh?"

"Hn."

"I'll be sure to remember this."

 **11:20AM**

Almost instantly after settling down beneath the blanket next to her, his arms had clamped around her waist like a vice. She didn't put up a fight because at least the sun wasn't shining into her eyes anymore. And more importantly, she _liked_ being in the circle of his embrace.

She couldn't remember the last time she was held like this, for no real reason other than the pleasure of holding her close.

In return, she also slid her own arm over his torso and hugged him to her.

Some time later, under the cover of the blanket they now shared, he'd finally found the strength to speak his mind.

"On that day, years ago... I noticed you because I was enthralled by your magic."

She couldn't help but reminiscence along with him.

"I remember that! I thought you were really cute when you came up to me and asked what I was doing."

"No one else in the village could do what you did."

"Oh, come on! Ninja in general have some pretty quick hands. _Surely_ you'd seen others do similar things I did as you grew older."

"...Maybe so, but nobody did it for enjoyment like you. And nobody would dare allow me to be close to them as you have. To you, it was perhaps a common occurrence to be approached by curious children. But to me, it was much more than that."

 _But what about your other friends. Your family._

Under his solemn gaze, she felt her other protests die on her tongue.

When she'd first met him, she'd thought he was just a shy and timid little boy. Had he truly been so lonely at that time? ...So lonely that he would disregard her 'foreigner status' just to speak to her when no other citizen would?

"After meeting you, I focused all of my energy on becoming a shinobi. I believed that I would find happiness on the outside, far away from the ones who'd shunned me. It was my entire reason for living."

It went unsaid that he had been feared and ignored by everyone in _Suna_. Within her mind, she suddenly began drawing parallels between the redhead's childhood and her ex-student's childhood.

"In the eyes of the Yondaime Kazekage and the Suna shinobi, I was a crucial, powerful weapon for military purposes. I would not be allowed to wander freely outside of my own volition, especially with Iwa at our borders."

 **11:26AM**

"But you succeeded in the end. You got to travel to all kinds of places, just like you wanted."

"Yes."

"How?"

"I became a diplomat representing the interests of Suna."

 _You ended up throwing away your original aspiration to be an author, just to get away from your village_ , was what she meant to say, but didn't. Instead, she took a different tack.

"And all those stories you told me over the past couple of weeks... were from your diplomatic missions in other places?"

As a jounin kunoichi of Konoha she had been sent out to exotic locales herself on courier missions. But she was never immersed in these diverse cultures as deeply as he had. Infiltration was not her forte, and she was mostly focused on maintaining the health of her teammates.

"It was very hard. Ambassadors have a history of dying at the hands of the foreign powers they had been attempting to contact."

She recalled that gentle, precious little boy who stared in open mouthed wonder at her little magic tricks. She compared him to the man lying in bed next to her, a man who had seen so much, experienced so much, that even with anecdotes from those adventures she couldn't begin to imagine how it was like.

Had meeting her... really changed him that much?

 **11:28AM**

"When we met again, five weeks ago, I was confused. It had been years since I last saw you... and, you did not seem to recognize me. I thought that maybe you were someone else... or maybe, meeting you in Suna had been just a dream."

His arms tightened around her once again.

"I would have lost my sanity if it had really been just a dream."

She sighed and pillowed her face onto his shoulder. Her response was completely sincere.

"I'm glad that meeting you wasn't a dream, either."

At the back of her mind, something didn't feel right about what he said.

As a medic and the apprentice to the Godaime Hokage she was well-known in Konoha, and by extension, the Land of Fire. He was an important diplomat from Suna who was coveted as a weapon at one point. Their villages had been in an alliance for nearly three decades.

Surely they would have crossed paths at least once during those sixteen years apart, even by sheer coincidence, no matter how busy they were? Or even during the Fourth Secret War against the Akatsuki?

 **11:37AM**

A giggle escaped her lips and disturbed the comfortable quiet in the bedroom.

"I just remembered! You stole my first kiss that one time in Tenshu! You were pretty smooth for a six year old. A little casanova!"

His cheeks flushed.

"I was seven. And that did not count as a first kiss. I merely... touched the corner of your mouth."

"Gee. Sorry for getting the details of the _not_ kiss wrong."

And then her traitorous mind began to go off a tangent.

What would she do if he tried to kiss her, right now? If he, say, moved his hand from her clutching her waist to cradling her face?

As if aware of her musings, his eyes flickered to hers.

And then-

His face began inching closer.

Emerald eyes widened.

She held her breath.

...But then he just bent his head and rested it in the crook of her neck, and she felt just a bit foolish and juvenile for getting excited over this little thing. She wasn't fifteen, she was thirty! She should be able to handle kissing just fine!

 **12:05PM**

They had to get up from the bed to retrieve his clothing from the dryer, which had been beeping incessantly for the past twenty or so minutes.

Now that he was fully dressed once again, she suddenly didn't feel like lying down anymore. The sun was at the highest point in the sky by now, and the village looked very active and alive from what little she could see from the window.

"Hey. Let's go out and get something to eat!"

His jade eyes blinked slowly at the suggestion, hesitant.

"You... won't be ashamed to be seen with me?"

That was a loaded question, if she ever heard one. There was their obvious age difference to take into account. They were public figures. And there was the matter of the aftermath of her divorce...

She stepped closer to him and firmly wrapped her arm around his in lieu of a response.

Things were just getting real.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	17. Multicolor lights

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

 **12:30PM**

They'd left her apartment with her arm still looped in his. She'd walked tall and proud, looking straight ahead and ignoring the wide-eyed gape of some of her neighbors and the handful of people milling about the streets.

After a minute, she'd finally relaxed. And so did he. She didn't even realize how tense he'd been until he sighed, so focused she'd been on ignoring the whispers and the stares. There was no going back.

Everyone in the gossip vine would know of them by tonight. Everybody else in the village would follow suit, and would be well informed by tomorrow morning.

When she thought about it, really thought about it, she was scared. One year ago, she'd done everything she could just to keep attention away from herself after the divorce. In those first dark months, she had been paranoid of strangers. She was sure they were whispering about her.

...He was a diplomat of a foreign village. He had said that he'd wanted to quit, but she could sense how much his accomplishments meant to him.

She wasn't like him; she didn't sit through meetings that had the potential to alter the lives of millions of people.

She had been a more hands-on person, as a doctor. She didn't decide anything for her patients other than what treatments or medicine they would get. If anything, she was an enabler who gave people the chance to choose their own fates.

Their occupations were as different as night and day.

 **12:40PM**

As their footsteps slowed and stopped, he turned his head to the side and studied her closely.

"Something's wrong."

She looked back at him, not accepting or denying his observation.

It wasn't about feeling embarrassed to be seen in public with him. She _wanted_ this.

But she didn't want to drag him down with her, any more than necessary. So she slowly, reluctantly began to pull her arm out from the crook of his elbow.

A large hand grasped her much smaller one before it slipped away completely and held it in place, halting her retreat.

"Please, don't."

His plea was a soft brush against her hair.

The firm grip of his hand, the concern in his voice, the sudden _closeness_ of his body all invaded her senses so fast she had no chance to erect her emotional defenses. Her knees went weak, and she leaned into him.

Gods above, but he felt so good. She closed her eyes, absorbed the heat and strength of him and struggled to regain her sanity.

He murmured her name, the warmth of his voice was nothing less than a caress.

Summoning her strength, she shifted her weight off of him.

When she opened her eyes, her gaze was caught up in his. The hurt was never so clearly visible in those jade eyes than before now.

Somehow, she felt almost caged in by his presence alone... no wait, actually, that was the feel of his palm at the small of her back. He was still holding her hand, but he'd freed his arm to pull her close without her realizing it.

With as much tact as she could muster, she tried to explain herself. He'd already indirectly told her that he knew about what had happened to her, so she didn't beat around the bush.

"It isn't you, it's me. Today has been such a beautiful day, and I... I don't want to ruin it. It's still not too late; if I let go now, your reputation-"

Her next words died in her throat at the sight of his dark smile. It was just a slight upward quirk of his lips, not a true smile. But it, and the gleam in his eyes, left her feeling very unsettled and alarmed.

And then it disappeared in the next second, just as quickly as it appeared.

Looking at his calm, stoic expression, she almost believed she had imagined it. But then again, she wouldn't be a very good jounin or a doctor if she couldn't catch details like these.

The hand that held hers gave a reassuring squeeze.

"No one will speak badly of you."

She bristled.

"I _said_ , I'm not worried about that! It's _you_ I'm worried about!"

His teal eyes were studying her again, as if he wasn't quite sure what to make of her vehement defense of his public status.

"...Thank you, for worrying about me. But I am no stranger to the cruelty of other people. People hear what they want to hear, and believe what they wish to believe."

The hand at her back was rubbing small circles into her skin. She had to fight to stay focused on what he was telling her.

"It's very indulgent of me, but I often dreamed of simple pleasures like this. Spending time with you, in a peaceful era. I am happy that you aren't ashamed to be seen with me. And I am not ashamed to be seen with you, either."

She grit her teeth and prepared another argument. Of the two of them, she was the adult who had experienced married life, and experienced balancing it with other aspects of her life. She had to be the responsible one, the mature one between them.

"I don't want either of us to suffer needlessly from gossip just because we walked through a crowded shopping district together."

"I never cared about other people. As long as I have... as long as I have the people I care about, I can survive anything."

"Stop saying that other people don't matter because they _can_ and they _will_ make living very hard for you no matter what! Besides, I know you want to quit eventually but you're still a Suna ambassador! Don't you care about how your people, your family, will be reflected in other villages' eyes when you walk in full view of the public eye with someone like _me_ , hanging off your arm?"

He finally released her from his hold and bowed his head, his red hair hiding his eyes.

"Family... I do not have one."

"W-what?"

"As for the citizens of Suna, I have never cared for any of them."

"What? How can you say that?!"

She was almost rendered speechless by his cold words and bland delivery. How could he say those things, as a diplomat who supposedly represented their interests? Studying trends, keeping abreast with world events, and acquiring intimate knowledge of the culture could only carry you so far. At least, that's what she believed. Because you couldn't _represent_ a place if you didn't _care_ about it, right?

But apparently you could, if the redhead standing before her was being honest.

Maybe it was a reality of life. Maybe she was overreacting.

It wasn't sitting right with her at all.

And just like that, the atmosphere between them was tense and awkward once again.

 **12:55AM**

Suddenly, he sighed and glanced up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sour the mood. And I understand if you don't feel like spending any more time today, together..."

He was not apologizing for his beliefs, because that was what they were. Beliefs.

Having a discussion about their respective beliefs could be delayed until they were in a more secure location, not in the middle of a small street.

She could come to a compromise with him at least. For now.

"...I'm sorry too, for forcing you to bring up a topic you weren't comfortable with. And I still want to spend the day with you."

Making a compromise was obviously on his mind as well.

"Going back to our original discussion. I don't completely understand your apprehension, but you've made it clear that you wish to walk with me in public, just as much as I do. Why don't we choose a single store, and then leave immediately after finishing our business?"

He was considering her feelings.

Despite his admission to not fully understanding her emotions, she felt her heart melt and her walls crumble because he was making real effort to try. So she could respond to his sincerity by meeting him halfway.

She stepped up to him and wrapped her arm around his again.

"I'll keep hanging on to you just like this, as long as we stick to the private roads."

He reached over and grasped her hand again.

"I would like that, very much."

 **01:10PM**

It was almost like coming around to a full circle.

She'd given up on her binge drinking and snacking a mere four days after her chance meeting with the brusque, yet kind man from her childhood. Not long after, she'd rescued him from endless days of convenience store food and cleaned up her own pathetic behavior in one fell swoop.

There was still the occasional twinge of longing, but there were no regrets when she swore off alcohol.

And to this day, she'd made good on her self-imposed cleansing period while keeping a careful track of her redheaded friend's diet.

"This is the usual place I bought my drinks from. The chocolate, too."

"Ah."

So why were they standing in front of this convenience store now? Granted, there weren't many shops on this private road they could duck into.

She was still frowning, uncertain, when he led her inside.

 **01:16PM**

Inside the convenience store, she became acquainted with another side to him.

Jade eyes glared at the items in his hands, as if willing them to reveal all of their secrets by intimidating them.

She scratched her head.

"Uhm? They're the same. You don't need to study them so hard, you know?"

He grunted.

"They have similar appearances, and are the same brand. But it's best to make sure you get your money's worth. This one for example has more beef than the other one, but has less greens..."

Somehow, she couldn't stop staring at him while he seriously compared two packages of frozen spring rolls and gave her tips.

 _The world's leading expert on convenience store food?_

 **01:20PM**

The cashier with the very weird stare was back with a vengeance.

At this point, she was ready to confront him. She didn't have to deal with such blatant rudeness, and she didn't want to. Not anymore.

Crimson suddenly blocked her vision.

The redhead's voice was frighteningly steady.

"Excuse me. I would appreciate it if you rung up our purchases so we could be on our way."

The cashier startled so badly, he almost caused the cash register to topple to the floor.

 **01:25PM**

After that very eventful time at the register, they'd promptly left the store and took cover behind a different shop.

"What is this called?"

She poked at the white little rectangle package. He'd chosen it with a glowing and heartfelt recommendation. But she couldn't figure out what it was because of the wrapping paper. Other than the name and the price, it didn't indicate what it was supposed to be.

He calmly took one bite of his hard-won, tuna-and-egg sandwich.

"That is a bomb."

" _What?!_ "

Her ingrained self-defense instincts took over.

His hand caught the packaged food before it dropped to the ground. He cleared his throat and held it out for her to take.

"...This is a bomb. It consists of pork loin, sugar, and a spicy sauce wrapped in a steamed bun. And its nutritional content value is-"

"Things like this exist?"

With trepidation, she picked it back up and attempted to rip open the paper.

"Oh. You need to open it like this so you don't accidentally break it..."

She watched, flabbergasted, as he expertly tore one corner and pried it open, the bun inside completely untouched and unharmed.

"You're really... you're really good at this stuff."

His smile was boyishly proud.

"I've had years of practice and experience."

She blinked suspiciously at the unknown, weirdly-shaped 'food' she now held in her two hands before biting into it. As he promised, it was delicious. She never would have gotten this on her own without his recommendation.

 _Not the expert. The master of convenience store food._

* * *

 **TBC...**


	18. Interlude: Matsuri II

**Black Fog  
**

* * *

Seven o'clock, morning.

Unlike the past several weeks, the sun was especially bright and warm today. There wasn't a single hint of rain clouds to be seen.

They strolled leisurely together through the residential district, the quietest part of the village.

Sensei's footsteps were balanced and even. Her own footsteps were light, almost skipping.

She had been on a standard courier mission to Konoha, and to her delight, she'd ended up crossing paths with her old sensei. He had even agreed to chat with her, however briefly, before she left. It had been so long since she last saw the calm and controlled diplomat and she couldn't help the way her heart skipped a beat when they began walking together.

He listened to her tales of recent missions and offered his own views and advice, just like he always did.

She inquired after his health, as per usual. He gave her the usual evasive response.

But she knew he was being very careful. As a known Suna ambassador, he was the target of many assassination attempts. Poisoning wasn't a problem because he always bought his own food, prepackaged, at random intervals. Said prepackaged food was always eaten within an hour, sometimes within minutes of purchase.

It wasn't the healthiest of diets, but he had assured her that he regularly kept track of the nutrients his body needed, so she did not push the issue.

Besides, she wasn't a doctor. And he was an adult who knew how to take care of himself.

She was just his ex-student, a person who he didn't mind speaking to because of his seniority over her.

All she could do was wish him good health and long life.

.

.

She had followed her dear sensei's lead without watching or caring where they were going. He knew this village better than her. She was just happy that they were able to talk like this.

Because she had missed him terribly. His diplomatic work always kept him away from Suna.

It was a miracle she'd been able to go on with her own life without seeing him for days on end.

Just as she'd thought while she was younger, a part of her heart would love this man and long for him forevermore...

Sensei had been the first to sense the presence of multiple people. When he stopped walking, so did she.

An inventory of their surroundings revealed that they were standing near an apartment complex. A group of men were huddled in a circle, speaking in low voices. There were six of them. To her surprise, her sensei boldly approached the group.

She hurried after him, and caught the faintest of whispered words from the men in the process by pure accident.

 _Divorcee._

Sensei called out to them. They appeared to be all civilians. One stood out in particular because of the work uniform he was wearing, which bore the logo of the nearby convenience store. She did not recognize any of the men's faces, however. The circle broke, but they all stayed together.

Perhaps they were acquainted with sensei.

He politely asked the six men if there were any problems.

They shared glances and denied the existence of any such things. One of them lazily polished a pair of heavy-duty binoculars as the others made small talk with the redheaded ambassador.

Sensei nodded and beckoned her to follow him.

They had made it to about one block before he abruptly stopped walking and told her that he had some urgent business to attend to.

She knew he was a workaholic who never truly rested despite being on leave, but this struck her as odd. Because sensei himself had been the one to request this vacation time from the Kazekage.

So she quietly asked him if this sudden, urgent business had anything to do with the group of men they'd come across.

He gave her a curt affirmative answer before vanishing in a swirl of sand, his signature shunshin.

She shrugged and turned to walk back to her own temporary quarters.

But her thoughts were decidedly uneasy.

There was something about the look of those men, and the way they hid in the shadows of the buildings...

And her sensei's expression had been perfectly blank while he spoke but his anger had been so strong, it was palpable.

She whirled around and raced back to the spot they had encountered the men.

.

.

This time, the six men had moved a bit farther away from the original area.

They huddled together, no longer in a circle, but facing the tall apartment complex and passing a pair of binoculars.

She followed their line of sight to a particular window, which had the curtains drawn save for a small crack.

It was clear that they were spying on someone.

But who?

And... where was sensei?

She felt herself shiver. Something shot from her neck to her feet.

The tallest of the men snorted something she couldn't hear under his breath. The man currently holding the binoculars chuckled and cooed. His words were carried over to her by the wind.

 _Looks like the divorcee is ready to give us a show._

Without warning, the sand began to swirl around their legs and feet.

All six men startled, their screams cut off by the thick waves that wrapped around their heads and bodies. The pair of heavy duty binoculars was wrenched painfully out of the man's fingers, drowning into a sea of light brown.

She saw her sensei at last, emerging from the shadows with murder in his eyes.

She had seen his determination, his anger. She was aware of his abilities and had witnessed several of his battles. And it wasn't ever like this. In those battles he was a blank slate. Unemotional. Sometimes, even bored. Killing people was just another job to him, which was the common behavior of shinobi.

For the first time in her life, she witnessed him with the desire to kill someone. For the first time in all of her years of knowing him, she felt afraid of him.

And then...

Just like that, they were gone.

Bodies, sand and all.

There was no blood. No telltale trace of their existence anywhere. It was a perfectly executed ambush.

Her knees went weak, and she dropped to the ground.

All she could think was that her sensei had possibly killed six people without remorse.

No. Nononono.

She couldn't stay like this. She needed to find him. It couldn't end like this.

And she wanted an explanation.

Why her mature and reasonable sensei do this. There had to be an explanation.

There _had_ to be.

.

.

Twenty minutes later she finally found him again in an old empty playground.

When they were close enough to each other, he began to make small talk. Like he always had when they were spending time together.

It was something she coveted during those short moments she was with him.

But now...

The blood was visible on his maroon colored clothing. The coppery smell of freshly spilled blood was very noticeable.

In her mind, she saw those men get swallowed by the sand.

And it was driving her crazy.

Her cry cut his small story short.

All of the questions she had planned to ask him came tumbling out of her mouth, like water that broke through a dam.

He apologized for the idle talk, and told her that he would get right to the point.

Chocolate brown met jade.

 _Please get rid of the report you've written on the incident._

Her heart began pounding faster. She almost couldn't breathe.

Why.

Why. Why. WHY.

 _Why? Because... I don't like it._

It was protocol to do this when killing in an allied nation. Why would he try to get rid of the evidence? He didn't do anything wrong, did he?

At least, that was what she'd been trying to tell herself.

But here he was, asking her to destroy the report. It wasn't as if the Hokage wouldn't eventually find out about the ki-... the _incident_.

This wasn't making any sense. Her beloved sensei wasn't making any sense.

 _Sense? Sense must be a very subjective thing, if you are using that word. Don't you think so?_

No...

He wasn't-

He wasn't referring to what she did, was he...? He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't, because he was a kind person despite his brusque behavior. Because he was sensei and he would never hold the mistakes of people against them.

And besides, how was she supposed to get rid of the report when she was expected to send one periodically.

 _I don't know. You don't know. The Kazekage doesn't know. Nobody knows._

Sensei was asking her to just replace it with a different one?

A cold feeling gripped her.

 _If you do this... then that thing, and the other thing... will be no more. We'll be even._

The conversation was clearly over.

His back was turned to her once more.

Still unable to breathe, much less say another word, she fled the playground without looking back.

.

.

Within her mind, she had been praying to the gods.

 _Don't let this happen to sensei. Don't let him become any more cold-blooded._

But she knew her wish wouldn't be granted.

Even so, she loved him today, tomorrow, forever...

Eight o'clock, morning.

Her thoughts were filled with him as she finally left the village of Konoha behind.

.

.

 **Black Fog  
**

 **The end**

* * *

 **TBC...**


	19. Blackout

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

 **01:45PM**

She'd just returned from the bathroom to find the younger man holding something. There was a brief flash of light, and he lowered his hands, his face concentrated on the object he was fiddling with. The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"...Did you just take a picture of yourself?"

He averted his eyes, embarrassed at having been caught red-handed.

In his hands was a digital camera. Where he managed too get such a thing while she was at the ladies room, she had no clue.

"A souvenir photo, to remember this special day."

"Oh, well I can understand that."

She understood, but she never expected _him_ to be that kind of person.

He was still quite bashful about it, but his eyes were alight with excitement as well. Yet another side to him that she was pleased to see. How many more sides was he planning on showing her today, she wondered.

"I usually don't take pictures. I'm not interested. I only take them when I feel like it."

"Like now?"

"Yes. If I feel that it is out of the ordinary, I commemorate it with a photograph. This way, I am adding more meaning into it."

He held up the camera, as if struck by a sudden idea.

"Let's take a picture together."

"Oh, sure thi- wait, what?"

She stuttered and shook her head, but he was persistent.

"Please?"

"I don't look good in pictures!"

"So do I. But I still would like to take one with you."

And after a bit more coaxing, she hesitantly leaned into him just as he requested, placing her hands on his shoulders. He held up the digital camera high in the air. There was a small flash of light and a clicking noise, and just like that it was over. He lowered his arm and checked the preview screen.

"Ah. It doesn't look bad at all."

"L-let me see..."

She took one glance at the screen. And made a mad grab for the digital camera. He held it out of her reach.

"Please, please, please delete it! It's so... bad! How can you not think it's bad?!"

"Why? What's wrong with the picture?"

He was honestly confused. She was desperate and ashamed.

Another wild grab for the camera. And another. She wasn't very lucky.

"I look like I'm cross-eyed! My hair is a mess! My face looks stupid! It's so awful!"

"I don't think so."

"This picture looks like a random stranger taking a picture with a cool celebrity! Please, just delete it!"

"Please calm down. I won't be showing this to anyone else. I just wanted to take a picture with you, that's all."

It was hard to stay firm in the face of his pleading expression.

When did he pick up on the fact that she was weak to this kind of persuasion...

"And besides... I don't think you look strange in this photo at all. You're quite lovely, in fact."

"R-really?"

It wasn't proper for an adult woman of her age to blush like this. Just because she was paid a compliment about her appearance.

But she couldn't help it.

Especially when he stared into her eyes like that. He wasn't playing fair.

Suddenly, his smile fell away.

"I wish I could have had a picture together with you when we were younger."

 **02:05PM**

It was certainly unexpected to see her blond ex-student wandering these parts. Or perhaps maybe it wasn't so surprising. His favorite ramen bar was just down the road, their store sign clearly visible.

To his credit, the whiskered man greeted her like any other time, and exuberantly exchanged pleasantries with the redhead beside her too.

She wasn't sure what shocked her the most: that the two younger men were already acquainted with each other somewhat, or that the stoic man would deign to speak with somebody whom he was only passingly familiar with from several diplomatic meetings.

Inside, she was still feeling unbalanced from his earlier admission about how he felt towards the citizens of Suna. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Her student predictably asked her why the two of them were walking together like this, her arm looped possessively in the redhead's.

She was aware of how her childhood friend was staring at her with his piercing teal eyes and listening to her reply carefully. But he didn't need to worry. She was past the age where she felt that hiding things like this was more important than preventing misunderstandings.

The words that tumbled out of her mouth were the blunt truth.

"We're on a date."

Nobody reacted immediately after the declaration. It felt like an ultimatum.

Suddenly, the blond boy asked to borrow his fellow ambassador for a private talk.

Without waiting for a response, they went off to a different street that was still close by. She had a feeling that this was one of those man-to-man conversations that girls would never comprehend. It was most likely about her, too. It was worrying, but she supposed that they could handle themselves.

In the meantime, she was bored.

So she decided to visit the daughter of the owner of the ramen shop, a female that she was friends with after years of eating noodles with various people.

In the past, the pink hired medic wouldn't have dared to seek the other woman out, but time was funny like that when it came to change.

 **02:15PM**

He asked her about her relationship with the blue-eyed man after he returned to her side and they began walking the private roads again.

The smile on her face was very nostalgic and exasperated. Like an indulgent older sister.

"He's an old student of mine."

"He seems quite loyal to you. Loudly so."

"Yes, he can be very loud. But he's also an important friend and comrade that I trust."

She gently squeezed his arm.

"What about the two of you? What's your relationship with each other?"

His smile was very complicated.

"We met during the Fourth Secret War. Despite our... similarities, we did not get along at first. The two of us decided to compromise in the end. But I am surprised by how well you mesh with him."

"It wasn't like that at first, trust me."

"Is that so?"

"Back then he was still really hyper and boastful in an annoying way. He had his own reasons for his behavior, but actually dealing with him in person is a very different thing from sympathizing with him. But after years passed, he had grown on me. And now I can't imagine what my life would be like without him in it."

They were getting closer to her apartment complex, but she wasn't done talking yet.

"I think it's unique with different people. Sometimes you stick with your first impression of them for the rest of your life, while other times you slowly grow to like them as you spend time with them."

"...Then, what about me? Does it apply to me? Has your impression of me changed or improved at all in these past weeks?"

"Huh?"

They stopped right at the entrance to the apartment. He was gazing at her with such honest anticipation that she was almost lost as to what to say.

"W-well... I always thought that you're cool... and an intellectual. And I really admire you for how far you've come since you were a kid."

She swallowed, nervousness creeping up on her.

"You're definitely... not a kid anymore."

 **02:30PM**

Without warning he pulled her into the circle of his embrace again.

All of her efforts to convince herself that it was a purely innocent and friendly hug were shattered the moment she felt his hard thigh touching hers. The clean, warm scent of him was filling her senses. She clamped down on the excitement building up within her and told herself that she was stronger than this.

"I think that I like you even more than I did before."

She raised her eyes to his. The heat of his gaze went right through her.

"After all these years, I've finally caught up with you."

He bent near her ear and his voice became a low murmur.

"I'm not a child anymore."

Her body quivered. It was this moment that she became painfully aware just how much she wanted him. The chemistry between them was undeniable.

And gods above, he unequivocally wanted her. She did not resist resting her head on his shoulder as his arms grew tighter still.

At first it was electrifying, after some time it became comforting. And she thought to herself that, would it be such a bad thing to stay within these arms?

She heard her name being called.

The arms around her reluctantly loosened themselves, but they did not release her.

Emerald eyes widened.

Standing there, not over seven feet away, was her ex-husband.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	20. Full dark

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

 **02:32PM**

It is hard to explain what a person feels when they meet their former flame.

The things you could have done. The words you never got to say. The mistakes you wish you could take back. The life you built together. The lost time.

And the memories of a bond so strong that you believed that it could never end.

Everything that mattered comes together within you in a single microsecond, and it's all because you laid your eyes on this person once more.

It is the same old story for those who have loved and lost. All those foolish people.

She was one of those foolish people.

Everything, from his hair, to his mask, to his body... it was because she knew him so intimately and vice versa that she was thrown completely off guard. They never met each other these days unless they planned it beforehand. It didn't always work out, because they lived in the same apartment building so coincidental meetings were unavoidable. But it was easier that way for the both of them.

Appearing out of the blue like this had reminded her that she was still recovering in more ways than one.

It was only the feel of strong arms around her waist that kept her somewhat grounded.

 **02:35PM**

The man gave her a little wave and an eye-smile.

"Yo."

And yet despite the familiar blunt and casual greeting, there was something not quite right about this picture.

His posture was... off. He was a man who was always in total control of himself.

She felt her heart catch in her throat against her will when, for the second time today, the reek of fresh blood assaulted her senses. Her mind easily caught up to the situation and noticed how difficult it was for him to stay upright. The last bit of awkwardness she felt vanished in an instant. Without thinking, she blurted out the obvious.

"You're wounded?!"

He looked down at himself and shrugged.

"Ah... yes."

In all their years together, she'd learned to see underneath the underneath and gauge the extent of the damage herself, purely out of necessity.

She immediately removed herself from those protective arms and lunged for her ex when he stumbled.

The pink-haired loafer who skipped her hospital shifts suddenly transformed into the hardened battle medic who'd gone toe to toe with the immortal Akatsuki duo.

Her tone was equal parts chastising and concerned.

"You... you fool! How could this happen? When?!"

These wounds raised too many questions. He couldn't have left the village for a mission because it was a part of their divorce agreement to share custody of their son. Whenever he left Konoha for an extended period of time, she would be responsible for taking care of the boy. She didn't hear any village alarms, or receive word of an attack. So why was he in this state?

Still, that could wait until he was out of the immediate danger.

First, how could she carry him up to her condo without worsening his internal injuries? She lived on the sixth floor.

Behind her, her date cleared his throat.

"I can carry him up the stairs with my sand. It will lessen the strain on his wounds."

She whirled around, shocked that she'd momentarily forgot about the younger man she'd been spending the day with. There was an apology on her lips, but he was no longer facing her and bore an expression of deep concentration.

The grains of sand he was controlling seemed to spill out from all sorts of places: from the alleys, from within nearby trashcans, from the open manhole down the street, from the gutters. They came together to morph into a platform.

 **02:40PM**

There was a slight problem. Her belongings had already been packed away into her bags, and she couldn't simply leave her patient unattended for too long. Going to the hospital to pick up the materials she needed was out of the question.

So she was forced to rely on the redhead for help again. It did not help her conscience when he complied to her request without hesitation, though.

"I'm... I'm really sorry about all this. And I'm grateful that you're here to help."

"It's not a problem. I'm happy to help."

She did not ask him to root through her bags because she'd organized them in a certain way.

Instead, she had him hold her folded clothes and made him swear that in no uncertain terms would he disturb the specific order of her garments.

She snatched a handful of vaguely silky items away from her line of sight and tossed them on top of the pile in his arms. Her aim was slightly off though. But she didn't notice because she had already found what she needed and was quickly making her way back the guest bedroom where her patient was waiting.

The diplomat stood still and very carefully shook his head so the obstructing piece of silk would slide away from his face.

"Hn."

What was he supposed to do with all these pairs of panties? She'd told him to not move an inch...

 **02:42PM**

It was time to take a look at the extent of injury she was dealing with.

So she reached over and began removing the article of clothing herself, with a bit of aid from the silver-haired man.

The sight of his badly bruised abdomen made her gasp aloud. The purplish-blue skin was incredibly hard to look at directly.

"What, this? I've had worse."

His dismissive act nearly made her smack her forehead with exasperation.

 **03:35PM**

Most emergency surgeries would take hours even with a dedicated team. She was good enough to do it all by herself, within sixty minutes or less.

But even she could get tired, and she had no choice but to flop down on the nearby desk chair.

Her ex had been nothing but cooperative during the procedure, and his lidded, dark gaze held no visible emotions as they looked at each other.

"So, how's it going?"

"I'm good. How are your ribs and lungs feeling?"

"How are they supposed to feel?"

"Hypocrite."

He chuckled.

She smiled.

And for the first time in what seemed like ages, they shared a quiet and peaceful moment together.

 **03:41PM**

"I'm sorry again, for dragging you into this."

After recovering her unmentionables from the exasperated Suna diplomat, she was apologizing to him yet again. Surely he would feel as if he wasn't needed, and would make an excuse to leave immediately. It made her sad, but perhaps it was a good place as any to end their date.

"I will go and buy our dinner."

"Huh?"

His eyes flickered towards the closed door of the the guest bedroom.

"You can't leave him alone yet, can you? I'll make sure to get something for the three of us, and return as soon as possible."

He was just so _good_ to her that she couldn't help but begin another round of apologies on behalf of herself and her unexpected patient.

But this time, he didn't seem ready to accept it. If anything, he seemed _tired_.

"Last year..."

He mumbled so softly she almost missed his next words.

"Last year, on this day, I never thought I'd become like this. Even now, I still don't quite understand myself. Or anything."

Neither did she. She never would have imagined being able to laugh and joke normally the way she did these past several weeks. She never would have dreamed of being able to go out and spend time under the sunlight like she did today.

"I know my current self is different from what you see in your memories. You might think it's strange, coming from the little boy you once knew. But it's already been years. It's in the past. Yet you still back away from me because of all kinds of reasons."

He held her hand tighter, as if he was anticipating her physical retreat.

"Every time you apologize to me, it feels like you're pushing me away. Earlier today, when you tried to release my arm and again, right now, with your ex-husband in the guest room."

The stark suffering in his expression nearly made her choke.

 _It's not like that at all_ , she wanted to say. _I'm still so messed up on the inside and I don't want to drag you down with me_.

"I try not to impose on your time, and I always consider your feelings, but nothing has changed. I want to be closer to you, and not in the way we were when I was six and you were thirteen. But... I can't figure out how to do that."

 **03:43PM**

"Sakura, please go out with me. With a mind for marriage."

* * *

 **TBC...**


	21. Endless dark

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

 **03:44PM**

She closed and opened her mouth like a goldfish.

It was unbelievable.

He'd confessed to her... just like that. Out of nowhere. In her living room. With her ex-husband in the guest bedroom, who was most likely still awake.

And he wanted to _marry_ her.

"...Why are you surprised? You knew this was coming, right?"

His gentle teasing jerked her back to the present.

Nervous laughter bubbled up her throat.

"I was expecting something like this, but you still caught me off-guard..."

Her words trailed off as two strong arms found their way around her frame once more. As if unable to help himself, he buried his face into her shoulder.

 **03:47PM**

He was holding her as if she were the most precious treasure in the world.

And all too soon, it was over.

"I'll get us dinner now."

She felt strangely empty, watching him step away from her and head towards the front door.

In this moment, she felt that her next action would decide the path she was going to take in the future.

She could stay here and watch over her ex-husband as he recovered from the surgery while the younger man bought their dinner. The air between the past tense couple wasn't as awkward as before; it was replaced with an age-old feeling of mutual understanding.

Perhaps even the first tentative hints of trust.

If she stayed, then there was hope that the painful rift that was separating them would mend, even just a little. And then, she could finally close that chapter of her life for good.

Or, she could protest against the diplomat's suggestion and leave the apartment alongside him so they could pick up something for dinner together, like a continuation of their date. The surgery was a complete success so monitoring the older man's vitals wasn't strictly necessary, and with the painkillers it was unlikely that her ex would be going anywhere.

There was still so much she wanted to learn about the mysterious foreigner whom she'd come to care about deeply, the man who had helped her pull herself back together and so much more.

The redhead opened the front door.

 **03:48PM**

Without thinking, she reached out and grabbed his arm, preventing him from moving any further.

"I changed my mind. I'd like to go with you."

A pause.

"Are you sure? What about you ex-husband?"

She smiled faintly.

"I'm sure, and all he needs to do is sleep for a while. If we're quick, we can come back as soon as possible. Just let me get my wallet..."

Without waiting for his response, she turned around and ran towards her bedroom.

She was going to do it. She was going to continue her original plan of spending the day with him.

He had yet to receive an answer regarding his earlier question, though. She knew that she couldn't put it off even though he didn't press her for a response.

The wallet was safely tucked into her hidden pocket and she was quickly walking back to where she left him.

Her heart leaped when he touched her hand and threaded his fingers through hers.

 **04:20PM**

As they left her apartment, he asked her what her son's name was.

It wasn't a question she ever expected to hear from him, but he appeared to be honestly curious about it.

With a fond smile on her face, she told him her son's name. She proudly added that she was the one who thought of the name.

He nodded in approval.

"Hn. A strong name. What is he like?"

"Ah. Well."

Her grin slipped.

...How could she answer that? The last time she'd seen her son, they'd had a nasty argument, and she hadn't yet talked to him to this day. How could she tell him that this happened so often, it was almost clockwork? To the point that she was falling completely out of her son's life? That her standing in her son's eyes had fallen so low, her son didn't even give her an invitation to his Academy graduation?

The kid used to loved her, to really love her. Whenever she came home from work he would run up to her with arms stretched wide open, begging to be hugged and carried around.

What happened?

"My son is ashamed of me."

Th admission tasted very bitter.

Any last traces of her good cheer crumbled away.

She could feel his eyes on her as she lowered her head. She felt a strong urge to drink again.

It felt as if she were disgraced in one of the worst possible ways. Showing this boy who'd admired her since he was a kid, the man who wanted to marry her today, that she was a horrible parent and wife.

 **04:29PM**

The sun was beginning to set, and the sky was becoming a brilliant shade of yellow and red. Days were shorter in the springtime in these parts of the world.

As they walked side by side, she had a sudden memory of her son when he was still a baby, so tiny and yet so full of _hope_ , as he slept in her arms. He had been small enough to cradle with one arm, and his skin had smelled like the baby powder that her ex-husband had carefully selected.

Then she had a vision of herself as the depressed, filthy drunk woman she was not too long ago, bursting into the school during graduation day, everybody staring at her horrified, her son the most horrified of all.

Her heart sunk in her chest. She would not be missed.

 **04:35PM**

Her head was pounding.

They took a few more steps before he clamped his hands onto her shoulders and gently stopped her from walking any further.

His face hovered close to hers, concerned.

"What happened? Where are you hurting?"

The question was so simple, it was impossible to answer.

Pain.

"Ever since I first met you in that playground, I always wondered why you kept drinking so much. Why you always looked so... pained. And even if it was only for a little while, I wanted to distract you from those burdens. I wanted- no, I _want_ to help you. Talk to me, please."

Where could she even begin to explain it to him?

The suicide attempt?

The loss of her student and betrayal of the third student?

The death of her parents?

Her marriage? The divorce? Those dark months after her divorce?

The bender? The depression? The last decade?

When was she ever _not_ in pain and _not_ wishing to just bury herself alive?

She trembled in his hands.

Her voice was weak and toneless.

"I haven't been so good these past seven years."

No.

It was still too hard to talk about, even with him.

With this revelation, she began to fall into despair.

She stifled her sob with a hand.

Jade eyes narrowed.

 **04:50PM**

Without meaning to, they'd returned to the abandoned playground.

This was their beginning, in more ways than one.

And so maybe it wasn't surprising that they always ended up coming back to this place, the place where everything was alright and there was no more hurting, only a little world full of magic and wonder. All the mysteries of the universe, at their fingertips.

He guided her to her usual swing, the steel metal framework groaning its warning before he also sat down in the swing next to hers.

Without prompting, he began to speak to her.

"When I was but six years old, my uncle tried to kill me."

"What?"

She was momentarily snapped out of her depression by those words. Her head whipped up to face him, but he was looking down at the ground.

"He said it was because I was a liability to the safety of Suna and its citizens. He claimed that I would never be loved, and that he was only pretending to care about me in order to get close enough to kill. He chose to accept the mission from the Kazekage, my father, to kill me."

He sighed.

"Right before he sacrificed his own life to kill me with an explosion, he told me that your kindness towards me was also a lie."

She blurted out without thinking.

"That's not true!"

"I know that now. But when I was still a child, I had no way of knowing for sure. All I could do was cling to those happy memories and pray from the bottom of my heart that somewhere in the world outside the village walls, you still cared about my existence. I had given up on ever being loved by the people around me. All I wanted was... to not be alone anymore."

He stopped, as if unable to go on. He swallowed audibly and tried a different angle.

"More than anything, I wanted to leave the village. I couldn't stay there without going mad, I knew. I had to become a strong shinobi as soon as possible, so I could gain independence to do as I pleased. Simply striking out on my own was too hard... I learned that first hand, when I tried to find you in Tenshu a year after meeting you."

"But I thought you said that you were considered an important asset and military weapon?"

"In my father's eyes, I was a failed experiment. In the eyes of the citizens, I was a monster. And as years passed, and I grew up, I had begun to believe that I was already insane from loneliness, and I'd imagined our meetings together. And one morning..."

Jade eyes met emerald.

"One morning, the feeling of _wanting_ something, the feeling that was motivating me to keep living, to keep working as a diplomat, was just _gone_. In fact, it had been slowly dying inside of me ever since I was thirteen. And I discovered the true reason why I tried so hard to become a diplomat and leave the village. Do you know what it was?"

She couldn't speak. Her throat seized from all of these tumultuous emotions that she only trusted herself to shake her head 'no'.

The look in his eyes became impossibly tender.

"It wasn't because I wanted to find acceptance in the world like I believed. It was because I wanted to be by your side. Then, now, and forevermore... I only wanted you to acknowledge me. I didn't care whether you loved me or not, I just wanted to spend time with you again, just like before. You, the one that I hold dear in my heart, even now..."

She didn't realize she was crying until he stood up from his swing to kneel in front of her, his fingers brushing away the tears from her cheeks.

His large hands framed her face.

And he leaned forwards, velvety eyelids shuttering closed.

His lips gently brushed her forehead.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	22. Shadow

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

 **04:53PM**

Each person being individual mini universes, with their own rules, thoughts, problems, their own dreams... it's not just difficult to understand one another. It was impossible. Making connections were small miracles.

They were two lonely people, trapped by their own pasts.

Of the six billion universes in this world, they'd found each other.

And it was beautiful.

The kiss on her forehead was so sweet, it nearly broke her heart all over again.

...How long had it been since someone had told her that they cared for her to such an extent, in no uncertain terms. And this man kneeling in front of her was saying that he'd longed for her since forever. It was a heady thought, to know that

She was unable to push him away.

Neither did she want to.

The depth of his complicated feelings for her were overwhelming, all encompassing, in a way she could barely begin to describe...

It shielded her from the dying sunlight and everything else in the world that was hurting her, like a security blanket.

Like the clouds.

 **04:54PM**

And then, the swing finally gave up under the strain and broke. She scrambled to keep from falling, throwing her arms around his neck. He struggled to keep his balance but he was wholly unprepared for the sudden weight pulling him forwards.

Man and woman toppled to the grass.

Jade met emerald.

"Oh my gosh! It- it broke!"

She couldn't help but exclaim, blinking rapidly.

 **04:55PM**

When the ridiculousness of their new situation sank in, it was as if she could feel something tickle her insides.

Her sobs turned into helpless giggles, and she clutched at him with both hands. Eventually he began laughing along with her too, his chin dropping lightly onto the junction between her neck and shoulder comfortably.

Of all the times for the swings to break...

To see him without his usual stoicism, and grinning like a little boy, was a pleasant surprise. For once, the lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth weren't visible, and he seemed to become much younger. Innocent-like.

This entire day was one full of surprises and revelations.

And even though it made her feel tired just to think about it... for once, it was a good kind of fatigue.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, she felt peaceful. Content.

Without a doubt, this was the happiest time of her life.

 **05:00PM**

Dinner was the farthest thing from their minds right now, but she couldn't bring herself to care about that.

All she could concentrate on was the weight of his warm body on top of hers. If she closed her eyes, she could almost hear the sound of his heart beating.

Slowly, very slowly, the words she couldn't say began to form on her lips.

"...Do you remember the day we first met, after sixteen years? Do you remember it clearly?"

"Mmm. You were drinking beer and eating chocolate, and you were barefoot when I happened upon you."

"Yes. Well. On that day... on that day, I was planning to die."

Within her arms, she felt him go absolutely still. But he remained silent, so she continued her story.

"I was staying in this playground because it's very dear to me. It's where my parents took me to play; where I practiced my magic tricks in secret; where I brought my students for training, and also where I brought my son to play when he was still very young. ...Ah, but that's not what you wanted to hear. You want to know the reason why I was going to kill myself, on the day we met. Right? Sorry."

"No, I'm fine with that."

"R-really?"

"I will listen to anything you want to tell me."

"It's... it's not very interesting."

"I want to hear about everything that I missed these past sixteen years apart from you."

 **05:04PM**

Parents tend to support certain illusions about their children. In her case, she believed was that she liked who she was, because her mother and father did.

When they died, so did that illusion. Because the truth was that, deep inside, she felt inadequate and weak, and she could never take pride herself.

She wasn't present when her parents died.

She should have been, but she was off in the front lines fighting off the invading Oto and Kumo ninja alongside her comrades in arms.

All to protect Konoha, just as she was supposed to do.

Her parents had died from a cave-in while running to shelter with other citizens; in other words, it was a tragedy, and there was no one to blame.

After their funeral, she took her first alcoholic drink. She became so hammered, she ended up passing out on the living room floor, and caused her son of three years to scream and cry for her in fear.

And since then, something had changed. One day is enough to change your life forever, and with their death, hers was changing for the worse.

When she was younger, her parents had been overprotective and strict with her, always giving her advice and smothering her even when she became an adult. There were times that she wished that they would leave her alone.

And then they did. They died. No more visits, no more nagging, no more family dinners.

She had no one to turn to, because she'd also lost her two teammates from her genin days during the invasion as well, and she'd been getting more and more solo missions as a jounin so she couldn't talk to her husband.

Her whole family, the people she'd loved since childhood, were _gone_.

Not long after her parents and teammates died, she lost two of her students to the snake Sannin and it was all her stupid fault.

She should have kept a closer eye on her students because they were suffering as well, but she'd been so distracted by her losses, her son, the missions, that she wasn't there when the last Uchiha really needed her, and ended up killed by her third student.

Without realizing it, she'd begun to drift along life without any real direction.

She slept badly. Ate badly. She seemed to age even while standing still.

The few times she was able to talk to her husband, all they seemed to do was argue, or ignore each other just to protect themselves, and their home life was breaking down into pieces.

And then, last year... that was the first time she tried to kill herself. To some, it was a big surprise. They figured that a 'successful', 'strong' woman like her, trained by the greatest medic in the world, would never consider the idea of suicide.

If her parents, or her teammates had been still alive, they would have pulled her aside and eventually found some way to to get through to her, because they were amazing like that.

Her parents would be their usual overprotective selves. Her teammates, her boys, would have just been their usual wisecracking selves.

But they weren't around, and that's the thing when your precious people die: you feel like instead of going into every fight with back up, you are going into every fight alone.

 **05:13PM**

"What about your _ex-husband_? What did he do? Did he abandon you to fight your battles alone?"

She gently pinched his arm for the faintly snide way he'd said the word 'ex-husband' before explaining.

"He tried his best. It's his motto, actually, to never abandon those that he considers close to him. Even though we were hurting each other, he really tried to stay by my side despite battling his own demons. Especially when we were so alike, the both of us losing our important people in one day and being powerless to save them. In the end, it was I who gave up first and tried to commit suicide."

Her eyes were still leaking, but she didn't try to stop it this time.

"Ah, maybe I am a hopeless romantic for saying this, but even when our marriage ended, I think a small part of him will always remain with me. Because he was my first love, and the man I was hoping to spend the rest of my life with."

For the next few minutes, she did what she could not do before.

She mourned the loss of the happiness that she could have reached, together with her small family.

 **05:21PM**

But her story wasn't over yet.

"As you probably already know, since you're a diplomat, divorce is frowned upon in Konoha because it's made up of many kinds of clans, both shinobi and civilian, who discourage the practice. My ex and I tried to keep everything under wraps, even my shishou tried to stamp out the gossip, but secrets like these rarely stay private in a ninja village. And to an old, traditional place like Konoha, this kind of event was purely scandalous."

"In other words, they made you the scapegoat."

His voice was oddly flat, but she did not notice. All she heard was the words he said, and she agreed with them.

"Yes."

"How? How could this have happened?"

"My husband was reabsorbed back into the black ops, while I quit Administrative work in order to devote my time to the hospital. Nobody besides shishou knew the full story behind our broken marriage, and since I was the only one they ever saw publicly, the naturally blame fell to me..."

Her entire body had begun shaking badly from all her pent up negative emotions.

"It didn't help my case that I was beautiful, and that I refused to seek pity from anyone. So to the women I was a threat, to the men I was an opportunity, and to children I was like the plague. My son... at school, they taunted him for what I was and tried to ostracize him, too!"

"...That's enough now. You don't need to think about it anymore."

He was no longer lying on top of her. He had rose to a kneeling position next to her body, commanding her with his jade eyes to stop talking.

But she wasn't finished yet.

"I can't count how many times they tried to take my son away from me, from _us_. All because of what I was a _divorcee_...! Despite everything I sacrificed for this village, why would they still do this to me...?!"

"Stop it. Just... stop it. Please."

Her voice was gaining volume and strength even as he grabbed her by her shoulders.

"My own son doesn't even want to see me anymore! Nobody wanted me as their doctor, or as their medic on team missions! They called me a _whore_! But I wasn't tricking anybody, I wasn't! I was just trying to do what I could! Why wouldn't anybody listen to me?!"

 **05:25PM**

In one fluid motion, she was lifted onto his lap, her head cradled to his chest like a baby.

His voice was rough with emotion.

"I'm sorry."

 _I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you. I'm sorry that your life will continue to be one of hardship._

"I- I was so _scared_... Everyone was acting the same! Everywhere I looked, it was all the same! I was so, _so_ s-scared...! I just wanted it to stop! So I came to th-... to the playground to _die,_ but then you-!"

She latched on to him with all of her might, as if he were her life support system and she would die if she let go.

"You...! You came-! With your stupid kids' book and your stupid hair and your- your stupid _kindness_ and you-! You saved me... you _saw_ me, and _you saved me_... and you _ruined_ all my plans to make it stop hurting! How the hell was I supposed to die when you kept acting like such a stupid _idiot_ eating all of that convenience store take out in front of me?! _Looking_ at me with those _eyes_ , sitting so _close_ to me all the time?! It's all your fault! I hate you! _I hate you_!"

She gripped him even more tightly, as if challenging him to try and escape.

* * *

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **Also note:** this is an early update because the next chapter may come a day late due to an... ongoing alien invasion in my country.

Yeah. Totally.

I have been called to the front lines in order to save our innocent wifi devices from these terrible creatures.

Stay tuned.


	23. First phase

**White Moon Reminiscence**

* * *

The door to the reception room opened, and the attendant that had welcomed Boruto into the mansion entered. She bowed, her posture beautiful and perfect.

"Rokudaime-sama will see you now. Please come this way."

Boruto startled, jumping to his feet.

"Matsuri-san! Have you managed to convince him to talk to me about Haruno Sakura-san?"

She smiled.

"I simply told him that a rare guest wanted to greet him. He has agreed to meet you."

"B-but, you didn't tell him the true reason behind my visit?"

"Hahaha... I decided to leave that honor to you, dear guest. Now please follow me."

She turned away from him with a mischievous expression.

Boruto scratched his blond hair, annoyed but resigned.

He had no choice but to press on now that he'd finally gotten this chance to talk to the mysterious warrior of the sand waterfall.

The man who was supposedly the last person to see Haruno Sakura alive.

.

.

"Gaara-sama. I present to you Uzumaki Boruto, an ambassador of Konohagakure."

Unable to help his curiosity, the twenty year old diplomat studied the VIP room of the Kazekage.

The first thing he noticed was the incredible amount of folded paper cranes that perched on almost every possible surface. They covered the coffee tables, the floorboards, the shelves, the chairs, even the window ledges. All of them different colors and sizes.

Come to think of it, there was a festival in Konoha that involved a thousand paper cranes and making wishes, but he wasn't really interested in the romanticism.

His gaze was inevitably drawn to the children's science book that leaned against the Kazekage's stomach, opened to a certain page.

 _Mysteries of the Universe, vol. 2_

Did the Kazekage have any children? Was that why he had that?

The Kazekage himself was slouched in his chair, his velvet eyelids closed as if trapped within a troubled sleep. His red hair was already graying in some areas from stress. He had abandoned his Kazekage robes on the chair next to his, revealing a simple getup consisting entirely of black.

If anything, the man that the people referred whisperingly to as "The Crazed Sand Demon" looked like a regular man in his forties who was suffering from burnout.

This revelation calmed Boruto's nerves just a bit.

Matsuri cleared her throat.

"Gaara-sama?"

"...Hn."

The redhead opened his eyes.

Those eyes were red and puffy from crying.

They regained their focus and slowly fell on Boruto.

"I am the Rokudaime Kazekage, Sabaku no Gaara."

Boruto bowed once, and then straightened.

"The name's Uzumaki Boruto, -ttebane! I, uhh, want to give you my condolences."

"So you were the Konoha ninja who came to Sakura's funeral. ...And yet, who are you? What is your relationship with her?"

"Me? I'm nobody, I guess. I don't have any connection to anyone!"

Gaara's lips quirked in what might have been a smile, but it was gone before Boruto could tell for sure.

"And yet, you still visited the funeral. What an interesting guest you are. So? What business do you have with me, Uzumaki-san?"

"I wanna ask you about Sakura, -ttebane!"

"What...?"

The Kazekage's eyes grew sharp.

"Why do you ask? You said you were no one. Why do you want to ask about Sakura? What is your purpose?!"

"Whoa, hey! Hold on!"

Boruto jumped away from the thin tendril of sand that was slithering around his ankle. He spoke as fast he could, trying to placate the suddenly enraged Kazekage.

"Because I'm a nobody, I can listen to her story with an open mind and stuff! That way, nobody else can ruin her memory and... _stuff_!"

His pleas were interrupted by the loud, mad laughter that was washing over him like a malicious tidal wave.

"That... is none of your business. Sakura, and her memories, are mine alone. No matter what anyone says, no one can defile me and that tale. Their words are of no consequence! No matter how they misconstrue it, it will not be painful or vexing for me."

Matsuri suddenly spoke up from her position in the corner of the room. Boruto had completely forgotten her existence until now.

"...Gaara-sama. Nobody can doubt how much you loved Sakura-sama. You are the model most worthy of respect that any of the citizens of Suna know. I beg you, please guide our wandering souls and tell us just how much you loved her. How you were able to live so strongly because of your feelings. Can we not ask you to guide us by showing us the strength of that love?"

"Wow! You're really good at this!"

Boruto grinned excitedly at the woman.

She frowned at him in return.

"That's because you are the most tactless ambassador that I've ever known."

Gaara suddenly rose from his chair. Despite being of average height, he appeared to loom over everything.

"Uzumaki. What do you know of Sakura? A truly ignorant person would not have any interest at all. The mere fact that you know her name shows that you are not as unconnected as you claim."

Boruto scratched his head.

"Well... Haruno Sakura was my dad's old sensei. She was also the mom of my senpai, Hatake Sakumo."

"Oh? But, now that you have mentioned it... yes. You must be the son of Uzumaki Naruto, the late Hokage. I am only somewhat acquainted with him so it had slipped my mind."

"Well, yeah! And that's, uhh, that's not all I found out..."

He gulped nervously before continuing.

"I heard that... you had an affair with Haruno Sakura while she was still married to her husband, Hatake Kakashi."

* * *

 **TBC...**


	24. Second phase

**White Moon Reminiscence**

* * *

Surprisingly, Gaara did not execute Boruto on the spot for claiming that he'd had an affair with a married woman.

His teal eyes simply watched the blond like a hawk.

So Boruto screwed up his remaining courage to launch into a summary of his research on the Rokudaime Kazekage.

It went thus:

Gaara was not human, but a demon born in the desert who had been blessed by the Ichibi.

While Gaara was still young, a powerful witch came to Suna.

And she was able to enthrall his soul with her magic, transforming his demonic vessel into one of mortal flesh, all while making him her slave.

He was under her spell as a loyal servant even when she abandoned him not long after.

Since then, the citizens still regarded Gaara with much fear, awaiting the day the witch's magic would wear off and he would return to his demonic form.

It never happened, and both Gaara and the witch slowly became a local legend.

.

.

Gaara chuckled darkly, and Boruto went silent immediately, afraid for his life again.

But he wasn't in any danger. Actually, it was the opposite.

"You've sparked my interest. Continue."

"R-really? I-I mean, sure! Okay, so where was I, -ttebane?"

The older man's smile was too disconcerting.

Matsuri's expression was completely blank, and she'd remained unflinchingly quiet after her spirited entreaty to the Kazekage.

Inside, Boruto was quaking.

The whole "demon transforming into a human" thing wasn't true, was it?

Because if it was...

If that part was true, then there was a high chance that everything else he'd learned about Gaara was also true.

And Boruto didn't know how he was supposed to react.

.

.

Years later, still unable to forget the witch, Gaara crossed paths with a woman while he was still a diplomat and not yet a Kage.

This woman was Hatake Sakura, or 'Haruno Sakura' as she was listed in the Memorial Stone.

Gaara met Sakura for the first time in Konoha.

She was married to Hatake Kakashi, and they had a son.

What was incredible was that Sakura greatly resembled the mysterious witch that the Kazekage had met in his hazy childhood.

Not long afterwards they began a passionate affair, despite Kakashi's loyalty to the woman he married. Their family was broken, with their son Sakumo holding a grudge against his mother for abandoning her family.

As for Gaara...

Not only was he forcing Sakura to bear a love that she did not understand, he could not accept that she was married to another.

So the spell keeping him human was shattered, and he transformed back into a demon.

And then he murdered Sakura in cold blood, in her own apartment.

.

.

"Stop it, Uzumaki-san!"

Matsuri's angry voice cut through the air like a finely honed blade.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I will not stand by as you slander Gaara-sama!"

This time, Boruto was cowering from Matsuri's accusing stare.

"N-no! I'm not pissing on anybody's shoes here, it's all just conjecture, -ttebane! I only had limited sources of information, so I had to put it all together somehow! That's another reason why I wanted to talk to the Kazekage directly!"

How else was he supposed to interpret the report written by Gaara's own hand? The one that clearly stated that he himself had killed Sakura?

Matsuri ripped her gaze away from those apologetic blue eyes and bowed low to her master.

"Gaara-sama... give me the order, and I shall show this rude Konoha ninja out of the mansion immediately."

For a while, the Kage did not speak.

His head was hung low and in silence, as if remembering something from his own past.

Watching him, Boruto thought it was safe to accept the older man's behavior as one of admission to his own guilt.

It all made sense, in a twisted way.

That nameless witch of Suna legend was definitely Gaara's first and only love. So it was logical to assume for Boruto, based on what little information he collected, that Gaara was ecstatic when he saw Sakura for the first time. Sakura, a Konoha iryo-nin whose face, hair and eyes matched those of the sand witch's perfectly.

Boruto cleared his throat.

"I don't have all the details. I don't really know anything at all, -ttebane. But the one thing I am one hundred percent sure of is that you really, really loved her, Kazekage-sama. So will you please, listen to my request to hear the whole story?"

Also, how a man shows his affections for a woman who happened to resemble his first and only love was none of the blond's business.

Boruto only wanted to hear the truth, and nothing more.

The Rokudaime suddenly slammed his fist onto the coffee table.

"...You think... that you can understand my love?! ...You, an outsider?!"

Gaara was visibly becoming very disturbed and manic. His eyes were glowing with desperation.

Boruto faced him head on.

"I'm not qualified to understand anything! But I don't have any authority to deny it, either! So please, tell me the truth behind the events of twenty years ago!"

To the blond's utter shock, "The Crazed Sand Demon" of Sunagakure broke down into tears.

"...S-Sakura... Sakura, please forgive me... Sakura, Sakura...!"

Apparently, the redhead's mood was as fickle as the autumn sky, being able to switch from anger to depression under a second. Boruto never knew how to deal with crying girls, and crying males were a completely different situation altogether.

Matsuri herself was standing stiffly off to the side, helpless as well.

All they could do was watch and listen to the Kazekage sob and brush away his tears in vain.

.

.

Funerals weren't for the dead. They existed so that the living could sever their ties to their dearly departed.

"You couldn't let her go, could you?"

Boruto began speaking again as more pieces to the puzzle fell into place.

"And when you killed Sakura, you didn't hold a service in her memory until yesterday, twenty years after her death. Because deep inside you couldn't allow the woman you loved more than life itself, to die. Doing so would mean your own death. And you were made the Kazekage immediately after your sister Temari, the Godaime, was assassinated so you had no choice but to lock those feelings away inside of you."

Locking those feelings in his heart had led to Gaara's "madness" in his later years.

Those stories of his bloody massacres, of offering blood to Sakura, and the title that his own people gave him which was "The Crazed Sand Demon"... everything that happened in the years afterwards was all due to the festering heartbreak Gaara could not show on the outside.

The redhead was still crying.

"Sakura... Sakura! Why?! Why did you leave me twice?! Your beautiful hair, your beautiful eyes, your kindness... why did you leave me twice?! I miss you so, so much! Please show me your smile, just one more time...! Sakura!"

By now, Gaara wasn't even trying to suppress his anguish.

He scratched at his own face until he drew blood. He threw his head back and howled towards the ceiling.

And he screamed Sakura's name, over and over...

"Gaara-sama..."

Matsuri's voice carried over her lord's cries. It was amazingly strong and firm.

She appeared to have come to a conclusion about something.

"Gaara-sama, please forgive my impertinence. But perhaps, since Uzumaki-san has gathered this much, it is alright to tell him the truth?"

* * *

 **TBC...**


	25. Third phase

**White Moon Reminiscence**

* * *

Matsuri did not falter beneath Gaara's probing stare. She repeated her suggestion calmly.

"Gaara-sama... is it not time to speak? I believe that Uzumaki-san has the qualifications to know."

Boruto jumped at the chance to plead his case.

"If you don't say anything now, then none of the truth will ever become clear!"

The Kazekage's sobbing faded away. After a minute, the man was back under control, more or less. His eyes were reddened from tears and his voice was halting and rough, but there was no doubt that he had regained his sense of reason.

"...Perhaps you are right, Matsuri."

Teal eyes studied the blond diplomat under a new light.

"Your name is... Uzumaki Boruto, correct? I thank you for giving me this chance to speak the truth that I kept hidden inside my heart all these years."

Boruto couldn't help but gape at Matsuri.

"You know about Sakura, too?!"

"I do."

She is after all, the only other person in the whole world who fully accepted Gaara the way he was. And as a fellow woman, she had always believed that Sakura's heart was a story that needed to be told to the right people. And now, the best person has finally arrived.

Uzumaki Boruto. Son of Uzumaki Naruto, and the only Konoha ninja who came to the funeral service held in Sakura's honor. He wasn't asked to come; he had been in Suna at the time and he happened upon it. But he did drop in to give his condolences, and he was properly respectful as well unlike the other curious visitors who sneered behind folded fans and the backs of their hands.

It had been for that reason alone that Gaara agreed to meet this blond guest in the first place.

Gaara sat up straighter in his chair.

"...Now, I shall speak. I first met Sakura... Haruno Sakura, a handful of years after the Third Secret War. She came to me from across the endless desert, from a big wide world beyond the village walls, and I was but a child."

Boruto's jaw dropped.

"So the girl you met when you were a kid was really Sakura? But how? It should've been impossible for Konoha ninja to enter Suna during those days!"

Gaara simply nodded and continued.

.

.

Near the end of the Third Secret War, Suna and Konoha came to an alliance despite once being enemies. Yet despite the alliance, Suna and Konoha were paranoid of each other.

Suna especially was struggling from the aftereffects of war. Gaara was meant to be the Yondaime Kazekage's experiment, all to create a weapon that could replace their lost numbers with sheer might and protect the village. He was eventually deemed to be a failure, and was slated to be killed.

But Gaara was already being slowly and quietly killed, on some level.

Nothing is as empty as living a life that isn't yours. The council elders, the Kazekage, the villagers... they all treated him with a distant coldness and healthy fear of his powers. Even with his own uncle Yashamaru by his side, the pain of loneliness, of _emptiness_ still cut him so very deeply that his own protective sand couldn't save him.

And then it happened.

The moment Gaara's eyes laid upon Sakura's figure and her whimsical magic tricks with a stone was the turning point.

The exact moment that she smiled at him and beckoned him closer was when that sad little boy became truly alive.

.

.

"...Hm?"

Sakura stopped playing with the stone when she sensed another figure close by.

When she looked up, she saw a child with the most darling face she'd ever seen. His teal eyes were wide, and his little mouth was open mid-gasp. He resembled a Nara deer that froze whenever you spooked it. Clutched to his chest was a stuffed bear.

 _Kyaa! He's so tiny and cute! I just want to give him a big hug!_

Inner Sakura squealed and cooed without restraint.

Outwardly, Sakura stayed composed and flashed the boy a grin.

"Hi!"

To her shock, he cowered away from her. A bunch of sand swirled around the kid's body, encasing him within a ball.

It was obviously some kind of Suna-style jutsu, but there wasn't anybody else around. So it was the kid's own doing. But why was he...?

"Wait! You don't need to hide!"

A tiny hole formed on the ball's shell. She saw a single eye peek at her.

"...n't hurt me."

"Huh?"

"Please... don't hurt me."

His timid plea made her jaw drop.

"No! No way, I'm not going to hurt you at all! More importantly, you came to me because you wanted something, right? Well, what is it?"

She didn't dare drop her smile, hoping that it could reassure him of her good intentions.

The sand ball crumbled away.

He stared up at her, his eyes still wide.

"I- I wanted to know what you were doing..."

"What I'm-?"

Sakura looked down at the stone in her hand.

...Ah. He probably saw those sleight of hand tricks that she had been practicing. Wait, how long had he been watching her?

She giggled as a sudden idea popped up in her mind. She had been feeling really bored out here, being unable to practice jutsu. Her teammates were no better, always sleeping in the day and horsing around at night and causing their sensei trouble.

This was the first time a Suna villager spoke to her directly, and she wouldn't let the chance to make friends go to waste! Besides, who knew when exactly the merchant caravan her team was guarding would finally leave the desert?

So she gave the little boy a mischievous smile.

"You're interested, huh? Well, why don't you sit in the swing next to mine and watch closely~"

Those jade eyes sparkled with wonder.

.

.

When she left Suna, Gaara swore to himself to become a strong shinobi, strong enough to make independent decisions and leave the village by himself.

He would do anything to be a part of that wide, wide world beyond the village walls. Anything to be with her once more.

But that wasn't quite enough.

From his conversations with Sakura, he found out that tensions were running high between all five major villages, and it would be difficult for him to move form place to place if he were truly a strong shinobi. They would doubt his intentions, accuse him of treachery, or perhaps attempt to kill him the same way his uncle did. These war torn lands were still bleeding from years of death and paranoia.

Gaara had loved books, loved them even more after meeting her. Inside his heart, the budding ambition to become a writer was born from his enjoyment of the books. But he put this aside when he decided to become a diplomat. Books wouldn't help anyone in those dark times.

He worked at it with all that he was, with all of his energy.

Even when he discovered that she had gotten married, he kept at it.

He knew that she felt troubled by the cycle of mistrust and the course of his studies enlightened him on many things. Somehow, the direction of his dream changed. He began working towards forging sincere bonds of trust between wildly different cultures.

The war against Akatsuki happened. The Shinobi Alliance happened.

Gaara and the remaining jinchuuriki willingly released their bijuu when it was all over, and they vanished without a trace.

And yet, even with the dawning of the new age, his work seemed to never end. The vision of a peaceful world seemed so very far away...

There will always be people who strongly object to the Alliance. There will always be people who won't ever open their hearts.

Disappointments were piling up alongside his work.

One day, Gaara woke up and discovered that his drive to succeed had completely died.

Unable to move on without knowing the reason why, he took a a leave of absence from his duties for the first time in almost ten years.

He came to Konoha.

It wasn't on a whim. He came specifically to this place because he had been avoiding this village on purpose. He had been avoiding Sakura on purpose.

Why bother, when she was living her own life happily? Why approach her when their meeting in Suna was perhaps nothing special to her at all?

A silly belief that he carried with him to his adulthood.

Gaara regretted it now.

When he was a child, he'd taken a leap of faith, a wild gamble, to get close to that mysterious foreign kunoichi. He'd done it again a year later when he escaped from the village to find her in that border town.

So, for one last time, Gaara would take another gamble, another leap of faith, to see her again.

* * *

 **TBC...**


	26. Complete circle

**White Moon Reminiscence**

* * *

It was as if his mind had remained stuck in the past, in those rich and full days he spent by Sakura's side. Meanwhile, his body had aged to the point that he was surprised to see how worn out he looked in the mirror one day.

His time had stopped when she told him not to wait for her to come back.

So when he entered the abandoned playground, Gaara heard a woman's bubbly laughter.

It was so familiar, his breath had caught in his throat. But he didn't dare hope for a miracle.

Slowly, he made his way past the overgrown trees and grass, closer and closer to the single other presence that he sensed.

And then...

Jade met emerald.

In this old and decrepit playground, the appearance of one as beautiful as she was... seemed like an angel who happened to be resting her wings in secret, and he had accidentally stumbled upon her.

That hair, those eyes, those lips... she was obviously no longer a thirteen year old girl. But there was no mistaking it.

It was her.

Sakura.

And just like that, time began to move once more.

His eyes flickered to the other swing with longing. He didn't want to impose on her like this...

Why was he acting so timid? He was an experienced diplomat who has conversed with other intellectuals around the world. What was it about her that could reduce him to the unbearably shy little boy he was in the past?

And yet. And yet...

Gaara was so hyper aware of her presence next to him, he couldn't focus on his book at all. That was why, when she knocked over the last beer can, he was already there, catching it with his fingers.

.

.

"I'm sorry, but have we met before?"

Her question only confirmed his suspicions.

She truly didn't recognize him at all.

...Or maybe, it wasn't really her. She only resembled Sakura, and Gaara was mistaken.

It all just confused him. Seeing her in a playground, just like that day in Suna, long ago. Yes. Maybe that was it.

But what if it really was her? Even if he introduced himself, would she even recognize him?

Did it really matter if she knew him or not? He already found her. Wasn't that good enough for him?

Eventually, he told her his answer.

"Perhaps."

.

.

She flashed him a smile and made to leave.

"Would you stay?"

His voice stopped her before he could consider his words carefully.

"If it rained, until the end of the world, would you stay?"

Of course, she didn't answer him.

Just what was he expecting when he told her that?

And...

Why did he say those things when he had already decided never to impose on her life?

.

.

He had been so happy to be able to meet her again the next day. Even though they weren't talking to each other.

"I can see it in your eyes. You think I'm nuts."

He recovered at an admirably quick rate, but she didn't stop and kept talking right over whatever he'd been about to say.

"It's okay. I promise I'm saner than most. I'm just another human being, full of little quirks and flaws."

"I believe you."

He really did.

And as they talked, he couldn't help but wonder-

Why did she come to this playground, just to drink? Drinking so much that her eyes can barely focus on his face.

And why... did she always looked so pained?

He had been nervous when she did not come back to the playground the next day despite the cloudy weather.

Or the day after that.

Or after that...

.

.

Boruto gulped. He hadn't said or done anything ever since Gaara had begin telling his tale.

"Kazekage-sama?"

The Kazekage had suddenly stopped talking and just stared at his hands. Watching him sit there, surrounded by the paper cranes was becoming very creepy and weird. And yet Matsuri wasn't even visibly affected by the atmosphere!

At long last, the older man whispered:

"...I finally found out later that she'd committed suicide in her home. According to the autopsy, she had been dead ever since the day I last saw her. She was in her bedroom, and she'd induced her own body into a deep, deep coma that she would never wake from."

The blue eyed ambassador gasped.

"No way... she killed herself?!"

Suicide victims aren't allowed to have proper burials. It was the law in Konoha. Tsunade herself had claimed that she had been strangled to death, _murdered_ in her home. So Sakura had gotten a funeral twenty years ago.

And the one who was found guilty of killing Sakura was _Gaara_...

Gaara himself admitted to killing Sakura.

So many details that the Rokudaime Kazekage had told him so far was contradicted a lot of things, and at the same time was supported by others.

Sakura had met Gaara in Suna under supposedly impossible circumstances. They had met again, sixteen years later, and by that time Sakura was already divorced. And Sakura didn't even recognize Gaara. There was no time to have any affair, either. Who fabricated the story? Why?

.

.

"Th- thank you for your time, Kazekage-sama..."

"Whether or not you believe this to be true or not is entirely up to you."

The blond bowed respectfully. He turned to leave the room.

But the Kazekage stopped him.

"Uzumaki Boruto, let me ask you a question. Why are you so interested in this? What do you stand to gain from hearing this story? A truth in exchange for another truth."

"The truth? Uhh, well..."

Boruto took a deep breath. It was perfectly okay to reveal this. That was what he'd been planning to do from the start in order to convince the Kazekage to tell him the truth of the events twenty years ago.

"Long story short, I need to collect as much information as I can so I could be fully prepared for the journey I'm planning to make."

"A journey, to where?"

The blond hesitated, and then slid back his sleeve, revealing an intricate seal pattern. With a few blurred hand seals, the fuinjutsu markings began to glow, and something popped out of Boruto's arm.

He held up a little obsidian cube for Gaara to see. It looked very insignificant to the Rokudaime, but anyone could tell how important this object was.

Boruto cleared his throat.

"What you're seeing now, Kazekage-sama, is the product of several years worth of study and experimentation. Long story short, this little box is actually the key to a wormhole through time and space. With this, and the proper coordinates, I can theoretically jump through time itself into the past, under certain limits. And if all goes well... a miracle could happen."

.

.

Later, back inside his hotel room, Boruto put the finishing touches on his manuscript. Well, it wasn't really a manuscript even though it looked like one. It was actually filled with many events and dates that were true to life. It also outlined his own plans in regards to these times and dates.

Talking with the Kazekage really revealed a lot of things he never knew before, but now...

Now, he was sure of what he needed to do, and how he would go about it.

He quickly flipped to the back of the notebook and highlighted _Haruno Sakura_ and _Sabaku no Gaara_ with an orange highlighter. He then drew an arrow from Gaara's name to Sakura's name with a pen, and then scribbled a question mark next to the name _Hatake Kakashi_.

With a sigh, he closed the notebook where his 'manuscript' was written.

The lamp light illuminated the label on the front cover.

 _Work-In-Progress title: A Little Black Box_

.

.

 **White Moon Reminiscence**

 **The End**

* * *

 **TBC...**


	27. Epic paradox

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

 **05:27PM**

It was as if the floodgates keeping her tears at bay were suddenly opened.

Each cry seemed to be wrenched from every fiber of her body. From dark places that she'd tried her best to suppress.

From little corners that were long forgotten.

Every sob was long, deep and painful, filled with years and years of heartache for the loved ones she lost and the loved ones she left behind of her own accord.

And just when she thought she was finally coming down from her height of sorrow, her lips moved on their own and began to swear.

With words that she never imagined herself using, vocabulary that she'd repressed under a veneer of politeness, she cursed her life.

She cursed her parents, her teammates, her lost students, her ex-husband, and the people of Konoha with phrases that made the young diplomat's jaw drop.

She did not protest when he swept her up into his arms and began to _shunshin_ in an unknown direction.

It was all she could do to stay awake, her body and mind fatigued from and she was content to let him take her to whatever place he wanted to go.

 **05:37PM**

Training Ground 15.

The diplomat had brought her here, for reasons unknown to her.

He held out his hand for her to take.

She threaded her fingers through his.

It was in this training ground that she meditated in, screwing up her courage to ask her shishou to make her an apprentice.

Many things have happened to the emerald eyed woman ever since that fateful day. She'd gotten married to her first love. She'd had a beautiful son. She'd become head medic at the hospital, and international recognition.

Back then, she didn't have the faintest idea.

What it meant to give up your dreams. What it meant to lose your dreams.

And...

How it feels to remember those forgotten dreams.

Knowing how the abundant hope and joy of that time can never be recovered.

Truly, some things in this world just can't be predicted.

One's heart. One's feelings.

How do they form?

Why do they change?

 **05:38PM**

A flock of whooping cranes flew overhead, with no other sign of life for miles.

Walking hand-in-hand, in a wide open grassland with the boy of her past.

The clouds were just beginning to settle in the sky.

"I had a dream about you. Honestly it began as a fanciful daydream, but then I began seeing it while I slept at night several years ago."

She sniffled and blinked her emerald eyes at him.

"Really?"

He smiled gently at her.

"It's not really interesting. ...You and I, we were walking in an unknown grassland together, just like this."

"What happened then?"

"Nothing."

"Huh?"

"Sometimes, I couldn't see your face because of the way the wind was blowing your hair, and you didn't look at me. There was the occasional cranes flying overhead, and it was cloudy just like now. No one else around for miles. It was just you and me, walking side by side."

 **05:44PM**

"I have a question for you, but don't laugh okay? Am I... ugly?"

"You're not ugly. You're very beautiful."

He told her this with a straight face.

Still, she gave him a suspicious stare with her red-rimmed eyes.

"You're saying the truth?"

"Let me frame this in a different perspective... say that, I never crossed paths with you sixteen years ago, and our coincidental meeting at the playground was our true first meeting."

"Mmm-hmm."

"I'm single, I'm not going to work, and I have nothing better to do than read. And then-"

His fingers ghosted towards her, and gently ran down the side of her cheek.

"-I meet a mysterious woman at a place that is supposedly abandoned. Who also happens to be smart, great to converse with, and is very beautiful. Except when she cries over her romance novels and makes a scene, I enjoy spending time with her. And when she tells me 'maybe we'll meet again some other time', I can't help but agree with her because I feel attracted to her."

"So what you're saying is, you would have kept seeing me at the swings because I'm your 'type'? Do you like older girls?"

"I do like older women. Especially when they have pink hair and green eyes..."

She pinched him until he groaned with pain and stopped stroking her cheek.

 **05:45PM**

"Will someone ever like me again? I mean, will I still get to have another relationship? Will I ever be loved?"

"Of course you will."

"Will I ever recover? From... everything?"

"Yes. You are strong. You will recover."

She smiled tremulously.

The grasslands seemed to stretch out forever, as far as the eye can see.

"You sound so sure about that."

"...It's impossible for a love like yours, an overwhelming kind of love that flows out from you, to not catch anywhere... or anyone. It's bound to be reciprocated, not necessarily by the person for whom it was intended. I'm sure it will go in full circle back to you."

The wind blew, and the countless blades of grass danced.

"How did that saying go, in the book _One in a Million You_? The ones we love leave us, because someone new is on the way. And that someone will show us why the past never worked out. And will make us realize how we're supposed to be loved. ...It's a comforting concept, isn't it?"

"Yeah..."

 **05:46PM**

She gasped as a sudden thought occurred to her.

"Wait, if you know that saying, that means you really read the novel?!"

"Naturally. I wanted to know why that romance novel made you so emotional that day, when you burst into tears in front of me."

"I- I can't imagine you reading a romance novel...! Whenever I try, a mosaic pattern covers the image in my mind...!"

"Then don't think about it too hard?"

She clutched his arm and pulled him along.

"No way! I can't stop thinking about it... I'm so curious!"

 **05:49PM**

They resumed walking at a slow pace, once again holding hands.

"Hey..."

Her voice was soft.

"What happened at the end of your dream? I'm talking about the one where we just walk together. What happened when we reached the edge of the grasslands?"

For some reason, his jade eyes strayed from hers and gazed out into the distance.

"Well... I never get to that part. I always wake up before we reach anywhere."

"Oh."

"But, if I were to give it an ending right now... at the end of the dream, I would gather enough courage to finally reach out and push your hair away from your face so I can see you. And then, you would smile at me and say that you will forget your ex-husband."

 **05:54PM**

The clouds blocked the sun, the shadow like a curtain that fell over their bodies. Shielding them from the rest of the world.

His footsteps slowed. So did hers.

The cranes were long gone, and all was still.

His hand was trembling slightly when he reached for her, but he managed to push the stray strands of hair away from her face.

This was not a dream any longer. This was reality.

Jade met emerald.

Slowly, a smile grew on her face. A smile just for him.

"...I will forget him."

 **06:01PM**

She felt their presences before she saw them.

Two masked ninja in full gear materialized in front of them.

They did not waste any time in stating their purpose:

The Suna diplomat was being summoned by the Hokage to her office, and was expecting his presence as soon as possible.

* * *

 **TBC...**

 **Also note:** this is a double update (ch 26 and 27) because the story is kind of dragging. two updates in one day! **Make sure to read ch 26!**


	28. Interlude: Matsuri III

**Death of Innocence**

* * *

Seven o'clock, early evening.

When her punctual sensei was running late to their agreed rendezvous time with the Kazekage, she grew naturally worried.

The Kazekage herself laughed and teased her for being such a good girlfriend to the blonde's baby brother, but the young assistant could only smile sheepishly. Girlfriend? He only saw her as his former Academy student and assistant.

Still, he was seven minutes late, and this was out of character for him. So she gained permission to seek him out at his assigned lodgings.

What she eventaully found, she was wholly unprepared for.

It was only early evening but her sensei was drinking. _Drinking_.

As far as she knew, he never drank before.

The empty bottle on the bathroom counter top was familiar to her... could it be the gift wine that he'd gotten from his most recent diplomatic meeting?

He refused to fall asleep despite already being able to, since the Fourth Secret War.

He'd snapped at her when she tried to assist him.

The calm, composed sensei who seemed to have an infinite wealth of patience for her mistakes had _snapped_ at her.

And then he left her standing alone in his hotel room with his customary sand _shunshin_.

Why... why was he becoming like this?

His professional life was as perfectly executed as always. He never faltered, never made any mistakes, and he braved unexpected events like the experienced Suna ambassador and warrior that he was.

So then why?

Why was he in so much pain?

.

.

...It was all _her_ fault, wasn't it?

She had recently become aware of the female who had been haunting her sensei's life for years.

One day, she'd asked him who he was writing letters to, and he'd told her that they were meant for someone who was very important to him.

All of the things he wanted to say to her. All of the things he couldn't say to her.

Yes...

It was all of _her_ fault.

And so her thoughts went, on the surface.

She resented this mysterious figure that had influenced her sensei's life to such an extent. A mysterious figure who most likely didn't realize how much he was suffering because of her.

Seeing her sensei this way was also tearing her apart, on the inside... and yet there was nothing she could do about his pain.

She made to leave the hotel room, but something on top of his desk caught her eye.

It was a hand-written letter.

It was because he was obsessing over this woman to such an extent that his life was slowly fading away.

These letters he was writing to the woman was the physical manifestation of his growing desperation.

She picked up the unfinished letter and read the opening line.

 _Last night, I had a dream of the past._

Little by little, her indignation at her sensei's heart ache grew.

For sensei...

As long as it was for sensei, she could do anything... anything at all...

As if possessed by a ghost, her body moved on its own.

She barely remembered rooting through her sensei's luggage and pulling out a big pile of unsealed envelopes, all containing unsent correspondence. Without hesitation, she also grabbed the little black cube from the desk. She knew it was a gift from her. It had to be, from the way he held it all the time.

Ten minutes later, she was standing in the alley behind a building several blocks away. She could not stray far because they were in Iron country, but this was private enough for what she was half aware of doing.

The small hole was dug into the ground.

The envelopes, the letters to that woman, the little black cube, were tossed inside.

A lit match followed right after.

She just wanted him to stop killing himself over a woman that didn't even remember his existence...!

With heightened emotions, she watched it all burn, burn, _burn_...

Cleansing fire, burning it all away into oblivion.

And then a huge wave of sand knocked her off her feet.

There was the muffled shouts of the Kazekage and several other members of her guard detail, but she barely noticed them.

Through the pain that lanced her ribs, she saw jade. She saw fire. She saw betrayal and rage.

.

.

 **Death of Innocence**

 **The End**

* * *

 **TBC...**


	29. Black box

**Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

* * *

 **07:09PM**

She was about to follow the diplomat outside the office, but the voice of her shishou stopped her in her tracks.

With a blank expression, her master revealed to the doctor that she'd assigned her ex-husband to arrest the diplomat.

But, as it turned out, he had refused because he would not break his motto to protect his comrades and loved ones over following the rules. So his punishment... was an earth-shattering punch to his torso. And he endured it for her.

And then the medic realized in that moment that despite everything that had happened between them, he still believed in her.

That aloof, yet protective man.

He didn't even tell her what had happened when she treated him.

She was unable to keep herself from sniffling, but she remained strong and refused to break down crying.

 **07:10PM**

As she turned and walked away, her shishou spoke one last time.

It was advice to keep her head on straight and to make rational decisions.

 **07:16PM**

When she left the building at last, he was waiting for her.

The boy whose life she'd unknowingly touched. The man who entered her life just when it was coming to a close.

Once she was close enough to him, he spoke to her.

"I... am being deported to Suna, regardless of what happens."

"Ah..."

"It can't be helped, because of many reasons. I will have to leave by midnight, or else I'll be forcibly removed from the village."

"So, I guess this means I won't be able to see you for a while, huh?"

She laughed as lightly as she could, but the recent revelations about the redhead and her ex-husband had shaken her. She was in turmoil once again.

But then he reached out and grabbed her hand and said,

"This morning, I came to your apartment. This time, I want to invite you to mine."

Oh, how she wanted to do just that.

But-

 _Keep your head on straight._

"Oh, but I need to get back to my apartment. I have a patient to look after."

"Right. Forgive me. It had slipped my mind."

He did not release her hand, however.

 **07:25PM**

"Please come with me to Suna."

"Huh?"

His request had been so sudden, she didn't know how to react.

His jade eyes were pleading with her.

"You're... more or less all packed and ready to leave, right? All of your paperwork is done?"

"Yes, that's true."

His grip on her hand tightened slightly.

"Then won't you come with me?"

Jade met emerald.

A soft smile touched her lips.

Without a doubt, she would never get tired of looking at his eyes. And she would never stop loving the way he was so sweet to her.

Standing before her now was the way to happiness.

It was so close...

He'd given her this chance to start forging a path outside Konoha. A new life.

She would be cherished.

Her eyes were becoming misty with fresh tears.

 **07:27PM**

"...I can't. I can't go with you to Suna. And, I can't accept your offer to become a couple."

"Why? I thought- I thought that we would be doing this _together_. A new beginning, for the both of us. The first day of the rest of our lives!"

Her free hand slowly rose and covered his much bigger one, which still gripped hers.

"I still have a lot of things I need to take care of here in Konoha. And you can't afford any distractions when you're in Suna."

His eyes narrowed in frustration.

"Are you forcing yourself to do this because of the gossiping citizens? You're really going to reject me because of what they say?"

"No, that's not it at all. I'm rejecting you because the both of us can't afford to focus on dating right now."

"I don't... I don't understand."

"Because I've been shunned by my own fellow villagers, I had unconsciously begun to believe that those who were better off than me should suffer. I foolishly began to contemplate my own death. I just kept making excuses and avoiding my problems. You, too. You told me this morning that you didn't care for your village, but you still consider that place your home, right? Hokage-sama also expressed that your sister was worried about you, and wanted to see you."

"Ludicrous."

"Who knows, right? Not only that, you've been accused of the murder of five civilians. Maybe they didn't find conclusive proof, but nevertheless you need to show up at your own hearing in Suna at least."

She stepped closer and freed her hands from his grasp so she could wrap her arms around him.

"Please."

He sighed.

"Why do you insist on protecting things that could crumble away so easily? I told you, I have no family. I denounced those two as my siblings long ago. Attempting to become close to them now is pointless."

"The things worth protecting are always the most difficult to keep. They are your only siblings in the whole world. Suna is the only one of its kind in the Land of Wind. Just... just give them a chance, please."

 **07:30PM**

"If I am to speak to my siblings, then I need you by my side."

She shook her head.

"I told you, both of us still have a lot of things to take care of on our own. I feel like I was always crawling along the ground. We're both really on edge, and we can't go on living like this. We need to look, really look, at our priorities."

He closed his eyes.

She gently cupped his face with her hands.

"Go back home and get yourself together. I'll stay here to get my own life in order, too."

The diplomat took a deep, shuddering breath. She could feel that his resolve was wavering.

"...I don't want to be apart from you again. It hurts too much."

The words were spoken in such a hollow voice that the medic couldn't stop a single tear from escaping.

"I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you. I'm sorry that your life will continue to be one of hardship. But you'll be fine. Even without me, I know you'll be fine... so work hard, okay?"

She suddenly remembered that she had her wallet with her. She'd stuffed it in her pocket after the surgery on her ex-husband's ribs. She pulled it out and propped it open. Inside was the scrap of paper where she'd written down those strange words he'd said to her, many days ago...

 **07:33PM**

" _'If it rained, until the end of the world, would you stay?'_ "

Jade eyes blinked down at her in recognition.

She smiled up at him triumphantly.

"That's what you told me that first day we met at the abandoned playground, right? I knew I recognized this line from somewhere. It's from _Mysteries of the Universe_ , right? The poem that is printed on the introductory page to the topic of water cycles. You see, I only have up to volume six but luckily it was there. The next line in the poem is, _'heedless of the weather, I will stay with you'_."

Her smile became tender.

"...So, once you and I have taken care of all our problems... and you still want me... let's meet again. And when that day comes, heedless of the weather, I will stay with you."

.

.

 **Love and the Time Travel Paradox**

 **The End**

* * *

 **Chapter guide coming up next...  
**


	30. AN & Chapter guide

**Author's notes on the story  
**

(disclaimer: everything related directly to canon and writing fanfiction is the author's opinion)

* * *

Hey guys. Skarrow here.

I've resisted commenting on the story for this past month of nonstop day-to-day updates so I could try to put all of my thoughts in one place. So, were you guys entertained by the story? Even a little? I hope so, because keeping to this strict updating schedule was really hard! I even nearly missed one day, oh man. And I did it for _you_. But anyways...

 **A Little Black Box** is originally a story request from the old Naruto kink meme. The requester was HersheyBby (she goes by a different username now) and someone had written a oneshot about it already. But I really liked the idea, so we got to talking and the project was put on my backburner.

The story request was asking for a Young!GaaraxOlder!Sakura onesided puppy love kinda story. It was easy to make Sakura born seven years earlier than canon in order to fit the requirements perfectly, since we barely know anything about her home life. Other than her early birth, everything else pre-shippudden is the same as the original.

This Sakura never had a friend to help her get over her shyness. So no Yamanaka Ino. Instead, she internalized the kunoichi training to the fullest, hence why Sakura still has an Inner - because kunoichi classes were supposedly training female ninja how to blend in and pretend to be civilian girls. But Sakura is still Sakura, very sensitive about her appearance (forehead) and her place in the world. Wanting to stand out and gain adoration. Since all kunoichi already focus on beauty, it was only second on her list of things to achieve. In the Naruto guidebook (I forget which), it said that her (canon) father Kizaki loved gags and tricks. Sakura picks up the sleight of hand from her father, who used it to prank his friends while she used it like a magician's magic trick. She had been in the middle of practicing during her C-rank escort mission to Suna when Gaara first saw her.

Having Sakura and Gaara meet as six year olds, in my opinion wouldn't make them instant friends because pre-Ino!Sakura is a person who wants to belong somewhere. She's also a good girl who follows the rules. She wasn't friendly with Naruto, why would she be friendly with a red haired kid whom even adults fear and warn others to stay away from? The Sakura who befriends Ino won't even look Gaara's way after a passing glance because she likes Sasuke and spends all her time looking at the Uchiha.

The way some other authors write how Sakura and Gaara become childhood friends borders on unbelievable in my opinion, especially on Sakura's part. If anything, _Ino_ would fit the role of Gaara's hypothetical childhood (girl)friend better because of how outgoing and sociable she is. Which is why I approved of the Young!GaaraxOlder!Sakura friendship request when I first saw it: A genin Sakura would be a bit more grounded and mature than her six year old self. She'd be more independent at least, and as a kunoichi she would be aware that Gaara's sand is Just Another Ninja Thing That Doesn't Need to be Explained, so she'd also be a little more open to making friendly with the cute kid who looks at her like she's the most incredible person he has ever seen in the entire world.

On Gaara's part, the moment he first saw her in ALBB, she was in the middle of practicing her magic trick with a stone. To older people it might not be anything special, but to a six year old boy who hasn't seen anything like it before, it will be extremely interesting and bewildering. In the story, he considers her as someone who "represents all the mysteries of the universe". Yes. It was love at first sight. A love that can't be explained, which only deepened when she welcomed him instead of shunning him.

(His reactions to Sakura were actually based off my own embarrassing reactions to the older girl I liked when I was five. It was love at first sight for me, too. But instead of politely asking the girl what she was doing like Gaara, I ran up to her, kicked her in the shins, stole the rock, and ran like hell.)

The running theme of **A Little Black Box** is "distance", in the physical sense. Gaara and Sakura are from two different generations of ninja, they're from two different ninja villages, and they eventually part ways. Their time together in the playground was so short, not even half the chapter, because it was supposed to reflect on how quickly time passes when you are enjoying yourself. And for Gaara, those precious weeks together with her was the best thing he'd ever felt in his short life. A feeling that only intensified when she was about to leave. Their time together was short, so short that time itself seemed to be hovering impatiently around them - the image of sitting under the slide together at night, surrounded by sand, was an allusion to that.

The chapters that follow is all about kid!Gaara's impatience and frustration about the perceived distance between himself and Sakura. They take up most of the story because it was an execution style that was supposed to make the reader look forwards to the moment they would meet again, maybe even make them think that perhaps Gaara is waiting for nothing. Chapter 5 in particular is the culmination of all of Gaara's fears and sorrows - the fear that he can never see her again, the sorrow over losing bits and pieces of her as time flows on, the despair over the idea that he may never catch up.

The second time they meet can be interpreted either as coincidence, or fate. It's full of fluffy things that the reader was expecting (hoping?) for and it ends with Sakura telling Gaara that "he will be okay even without her". And it's really up to your interpretation of what exactly is considered "okay". Which means how you view Gaara's situation in the final chapter of ALBB as a successful diplomat is also up to you to decide whether or not Sakura's prediction was correct.

The "spiritual sequel" (not a true sequel) is **Love and the Time Travel Paradox** which could be considered a standalone story because HersheyBby only wanted the kid!GaaraxOlder!Sakura interaction of **A Little Black Box**. It features Sakura as a divorced woman and her internal struggles, and her budding romance with a "mysterious" man she met at the playground one day (Gaara). Again, the theme is distance, but not in the physical sense but the emotional sense. She is emotionally distant from her loved ones, her family, her own life, and this perceived distance is partly her fault.

Some might be surprised to discover her suicide attempts, because I tried to be more subtle about it; Sakura's thanatos-mentality were shown through her complete disregard for her own health (beer and chocolate, "going outside because she has nothing to lose", etc.). The problems she is suffering from is also quite complicated: the hardships of living as a divorced woman in a community of traditionalists, the suffering of a mother who tried to be the best parent she could be but still messed up and caused her only child to think negatively of her, a disillusioned female who managed to wed her first love and having all of her dreams of a happy marriage crumble before her eyes. (I wondered if I should make the rating M due to these topics, along with the suicide part, but there is nothing too graphic so I decided to keep the rating T.)

On Gaara's side, not seeing Sakura for sixteen years was purely a misunderstanding on his part, a misunderstanding born of his own feelings of inferiority and his feelings towards the kunoichi he'd befriended so long ago. He had comforted himself with his own diplomatic job, reasoning that he was working towards building a world that was better connected and open: the kind of world that she would have liked to live in. But somehow along the way, he saw that no matter how much time passed, he was falling into despair. Not even being able to different places like he'd dreamed of doing as a child wasn't as good as he thought it would be. He's utterly confused about what he really wants, where his true goals lie. And he is still a very lonely person despite having the ability to hold extended conversations (he himself has admitted to "not having a family" and "not caring about Suna citizens").

Both Gaara and Sakura have their foibles. They are learning how to move on independently with their own lives. In the past, Sakura considered the little boy like a cute younger brother-type, while young Gaara's pure feelings for Sakura pushed him to kiss her (!), a kiss that he couldn't forget for the rest of his life. After much time has passed, and both of them have lived through many hardships, they face each other as two people who are the same, and yet not the same. In **Love and the Time Travel Paradox** these two don't even kiss, hahaha. They also lie on a bed together without doing anything.

The only part that gets even remotely sensual is chapter 17, and nothing happens then, either. It's near impossible to write a relationship between two consenting adult characters without dipping into that territory, but it was made possible with this couple! They mean much more to each other than the physical part of the relationship, it's a feeling that is so fragile that one wrong move could destroy everything and they both don't want that to happen.

Uzumaki Boruto's involvement in their story is an entirely different fanfiction plot, which I won't be commenting on here. But I can say that Boruto wasn't messing with time for their sake, but for the sake of his "mission".

Those who were disappointed by the ending of the story, I ask you all to please forgive me. This ending had been set from the very beginning, and anyone can see that there are just too many factors that hinder their chances of getting together right then. Sakura was saying that they had to fix their own lives first; she knows first hand what jumping into things would do if you don't address the glaring problems first. The distance between them, physical AND emotional, was still too wide. But Sakura this time has promised Gaara that one day when they've taken care of everything, they will meet again, unlike before when she told a kid!Gaara not to wait for her. This is intentionally a contrast between how A Little Black Box and Love and the Time Travel Paradox ends. They are both adults who can use their own power independently to see each other again and finally close that distance. So until then... Gaara will be waiting for Sakura. Again. Oh come on, don't look at me that way. The story summary warned you clearly: "How long did he have to wait before he could see her again"? How long, indeed. Was it truly just a stone's throw away?

Okay, what else is there to talk about?

Right. The format of writing in the story is an intentional choice in style: it is heavily introspective, full of symbolism, minimalist, and "shows by telling". There is also repetitive phrases, very little dialogue (what's there is in **White Moon Reminiscence** , and in **Love and the Time Travel Paradox** between Gaara and Sakura and a bit of Kakashi), and I completely avoid using names.

I admit that I do not do well with introspective pieces and symbolism but I tried. First, there is the sand, which is only used sparingly and in relation to time. I barely associated it with Gaara, however, because he is supposed to be shown to be more than the sand that protects him. He is just a lonely little boy. I notice that writers like to wax poetic about his sand, so I tried to do something much differently in his case. Similarly with Sakura, I barely referenced her forehead or her hair, and I focused on the magic tricks she was doing in an attempt to portray her as a person who was more than a pink-haired girl with a big brow.

The stone was established from the beginning as being a "part" of the mysterious foreign kunoichi in Gaara's mind, so when he loses the stone that she entrusted to him, it is the biggest blow to his heart, losing the only piece he owns of her, despite not being fully aware of why he is really suffering from the loss so much. When she eventually hears about the missing stone and forgives him, even giving him a little black box to replace the stone with, Gaara's young mind recognizes that while there are many stones that can be replaced, but nobody can replace Sakura.

It's kind of abstract, but the words "mystery" and "wonder" is symbolism for Gaara's attraction/love towards Sakura, and vice versa. He's enthralled right from the beginning while they were kids, and also when they were adults. The clouds represent the "gray area" between sunny days and rainy days: stolen moments in which they spend time together. The folded paper cranes are an obvious reference to Gaara's wish to fill the emptiness in his heart and be reunited with Sakura. Sakura's magic tricks is also a representation of their relationship: something that cannot be explained just by looking at the surface, and can only be understood by studying the inner workings. In other words, the couple's relationship is like the Black Box theory.

The swings they always sit on, both in Suna and in Konoha, are Gaara and Sakura's whole world. A world that belongs to the two of them, where they can live simply and beautifully just like innocent children. The swing breaking from underneath Sakura is pretty much the "wake-up call" that she needs to stop whining and hiding like a child and start taking responsibility for her own welfare, confronting her own demons. The playground itself is extension of their private world, and when they mutually decide to go out and spend time in Konoha outside the confines of the playground, they are taking the mature steps in developing their budding relationship. For the dialogue, Gaara and Sakura are the only ones who really have any (barring **White Moon Reminiscence** ) because their voices are the only ones that matter to each other in the story. Kakashi getting dialogue with Sakura is supposed to show that he still means something to Sakura.

In regards to "show vs tell", many authors will tell you that "showing" is better than telling. I will agree with them, usually. But once in a while, "showing" just won't portray the story that you want to give the audience the way you envisioned. In the case of this story, "showing" would have just confused everybody unnecessarily, I think, with all of the symbolism. Introspective pieces also do better when the medium is "tell" rather than "show". But what about the emotions? What about making the readers empathize with the characters? What about the nitty-gritty details and interactions of the characters? And the lack of name usage is pretty strange, isn't it?

I said earlier that I was trying to "show by telling". The lack of names is a conscious attempt at making the readers emphasize with the characters within ("this could happen to anyone." "This already happened to you, or somebody you knew."), while forcing the readers to keep an objective 3rd person perspective the whole time. Lack of details doesn't necessarily mean there are no details. Everybody already knows what Gaara is all about, his backstory, his childhood. Everybody already knows what Sakura is generally like but this Sakura is very mysterious, and makes you want to know more about her, so you emphasize with Gaara. The reader's imagination is sometimes much more effective than whatever words I could use to describe what is happening so I stuck to being as minimalist as possible. With as little words as possible I try to tell the story, and things that are left unsaid are just as powerful as things that have been repeating throughout the tale.

You may or may not have noticed the words/phrases/situations that ironically echo one another. The obvious ones are the magic tricks, the swings and the playground. The less obvious ones involve the cranes, the daydream Gaara had about Sakura where they walk in an unknown grassland together, Sakura's sentence to Gaara ("I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you. I'm sorry that your life will continue to be one of hardship. But you'll be fine. Even without me, I know you'll be fine."), the phrase "jade met emerald", and more. I wanted this to be a story that made the reader think. Do you think I succeeded? Or is it too much?

Anyways, I've rambled way too much. Time to cut it here.

Now that the story is over, you can ask me any questions about ALBB.

Again, thank you for reading!

* * *

 **Chapter guide**

(for those who still have no idea wtf is going on)

A Little Black Box

Ch 1

-Gaara meets Sakura. They become friends while spending stolen moments together at the playground. Sakura leaves, and Gaara understands the meaning of his existence.

Ch 2

-The chapter highlights the many ways the young Gaara is influenced by Sakura, even without her there.

Ch 3

-Gaara escapes getting killed by Yashamaru. He doesn't go mad with hatred, and he doesn't get the "love" tattoo. But the Ichibi still tricks Gaara into sleeping, and it goes on a rampage anyways.

Ch 4

-Gaara is incarcerated and isolated for getting possessed by the Ichibi. He knows better now, but he has no choice but to remain many days without sleeping, without reading, without anything besides the stone he cherishes in his pocket.

Ch 5

-Gaara decides to escape from Suna to see Sakura. He becomes greatly discouraged...

Ch 6

-...But then he stumbles across Sakura herself, who is already an apprentice of Tsunade the Godaime Hokage of Konoha. They part ways onc more the next morning, Sakura gives Gaara the little black box.

Ch 7

-Matsuri's first chapter serves to show Gaara at 13 yeas old, and Sakura being married already.

Ch 8

-Gaara is now a diplomat. Sakura has a child.

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Love and the Time Travel Paradox

Ch 9

-Sakura's life is slowly revealed in bits and pieces. She meets a mysterious man (Gaara) by chance. Gaara on the other hand just can't ask outright of she's really Sakura so he speaks in riddles instead.

Ch 10

-The next day, Sakura meets the man again. When she returns home, she finds a letter written by a child's hand, asking her to come back.

Ch 11

-Meeting the man, plus the letter she found, make her feel just a bit better about herself. She goes to the playground with a romance novel and proceeds to make an ass of herself in front of Short, Pale and Handsome. The next day, the man buys her coffee and they become even closer.

Ch 12

-It's a montage of scenes that show Sakura getting closer and more comfortable with her new friend.

Ch 13

-Sakura decides to go out on a sunny day for once. Sakura cleaning her home is symbolism for clearing out unwanted excess in her life, and by doing so she finally finds the old magic kit, or in other words, she remembers who Gaara is. The sun here is one big metaphor for "coming out of the darkness and confronting the truth". This refers to the "truth" of each others' identities, and the "truth" that he is actually a boy from her childhood. She asks Gaara "are you a stranger", also referencing their previous relationship in their childhood.

Ch 14

-Tsunade's interlude is an objective explanation of Sakura and Kakashi's hardships as a married couple, and their broken family. Note that Sakura married Kakashi before he got the chance to make piece with Obito and his father, so this Kakashi is harder to deal with than the one after the Fourth Shinobi War.

Ch 15

-This is the only time in Love and the Time Travel Paradox where Gaara and Sakura's names are spoken/mentioned. It happens immediately after Sakura performs a sleight of hand trick, just how she did in the old days.

Ch 16

-Gaara and Sakura spend time catching up with each others' lives. They lie in bed together under the blankets, in an echo of in Ch 6. THey also decide to go out in the village together - a step forwards in their relationship.

Ch 17

-Sakura discovers a colder side to Gaara and a childish side to him. That cashier seems to recognize Gaara...

Ch 18

-Matsuri'ss second story reveals Gaara's murder of five out of six men. The sixth guy is the cashier from Ch 17.

Ch 19

-Gaara emphasizes that he is not a kid anymore to a nervous and shy Sakura, but Sakura's ex Kakashi interrupts.

Ch 20

-Sakura treats Kakashi's wounds. Gaara asks Sakura to date him.

Ch 21

-Sakura decides on her own to keep pursuing Gaara. And Gaara tells her just how much she means to him.

Ch 22

-Sakura finally spills the beans and tells Gaara about her innermost feelings regarding her messed up life.

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White Moon Reminiscence

Ch 23

-In another time and place, Boruto confronts the 6th Kazekage, Gaara, who is also known to be crazy and blood thirsty.

Ch 24

-Boruto continues to confront Gaara with the knowledge of Sakura's death.

Ch 25

-Gaara tells Boruto the truth.

Ch 26

-Gaara finishes telling Boruto about the truth behind Sakura's death. It's heavily implied that Boruto will go back in time twenty years in order to save Sakura from committing suicide two days after meeting Gaara at the abandoned playground, and therefore bring about the events of Love and the Time Travel Paradox.

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Love and the Time Travel Paradox

Ch 27

-Sakura decides to return Gaara's feelings

Ch 28

-Matsuri's final story reveals the horrible thing she did to Gaara that he blackmailed her with in her second story.

Ch 29

-The last chapter. Sakura decides to not date Gaara so they can fix their own lives first.


	31. Epilogue

**? ? ? ? ?**

* * *

And so the seasons trickled by.

Spring became summer. Summer melted away into autumn. Autumn gave way to winter.

Still, he found himself subconsciously searching for her figure.

At the intersection.

In the corner of his book.

Within the shadows of the trees.

Even though he knew he wouldn't find her there.

.

.

He had been one hundred percent certain that this chocolate cake was the one.

The bittersweet treat from many years ago, which she loved and shared with him.

But after one bite, it didn't turn out the way he expected.

The search would continue.

And he was fine with that.

Because he still had the rest of his life to keep searching for pieces of her.

.

.

After a firm press of his fingertips, the latest folded paper crane was complete.

He set it on his window ledge, peeking outside with his six brethren.

Jade eyes scrutinized the office interior.

As expected, he needed to find a new place to store his paper cranes... it was very messy here.

One thousand granted one wish. Two thousand granted two wishes.

His hand reached for another piece of origami paper to fold.

He had about several more to go before he reached ten thousand.

If his wish was granted, he would be by her side.

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How much more time needed to pass before he could see her again?

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The playground of his childhood was empty and still.

Despite the late winter season, it was still quite warm in the desert.

The swing creaked as he settled himself down.

An unopened letter was in his hand.

Fingers that were experienced with opening correspondence easily made short work of the seal.

The paper was carefully unfolded.

Jade eyes scanned the words within.

And then he smiled.

.

.

 _I hope the desert is still warm. I don't like snow very much!_

 _And I hope you will continue to have good health! No more convenience store food, okay?!  
_

 _I can't wait until spring comes again so I can wear my new clothes._

 _Looking forward to your reply, as always!_

.

.

Velvet lids softly closed shut.

In his mind, he could see the grasslands stretching out as far as the eye could see.

.

.

He was learning to walk, just like her.

There were times he stumbled, but he held on.

This was the path he was going to take.

The path he decided for himself.

.

.

One day, his path would lead him back to her.

* * *

 **The End**


End file.
